… so that you guys can talk about these photos of the Douchepratts warding off swine flu while in Mexico to film Heidi’s “video” for her “music.”

They may be douches, but they’re douches who know a PR opportunity when they see one. Finally someone other than the face-mask manufacturers (and the news stations) has found the economic upside to swine flu.

The Gossip Girl villainess, who’s currently signed to a record deal and filming a movie, debuted a new, lighter look as she left the Byron & Tracey hair salon in LA today.

Ya know, I have to admit, I usually cringe when brunette starlets go blond, but I kinda dig this look on Leighton.

Lindsay Lohan was photographed — gasp! — eating while on vacation in Maui with her sis Ali and friends.

How long has this girl been in Hawaii? And she’s still that pale? How is this even possible? Does Lindsay Lohan’s body produce some strange enzyme that resists both natural tanning and sobriety? If so, we should extract it and use it in chemical warfare. It’s clearly powerful stuff.

Later in the day Lindsay headed out to Fred’s Mexican Cantina, where I’m sure she enjoyed Diet Coke through a straw all night. (Exercise for the reader: Which word doesn’t belong in the previous sentence?)

FINALLY Shanna Moakler is doing something I can get behind. The former Miss USA — who’s currently the executive director of the Miss California USA pageant — teamed up with Miss USA 2006 first runner-up Tamiko Nash and last year’s titleholder Raquel Beezley did a photo shoot last night for Adam Bouska and NOH8, a photo campaign to support efforts to overturn Proposition 8.

“We never expected to have so many beauty queens participate. The whole campaign, obviously, is not a direct message to Miss California, but now she happened to have put herself in the line of fire,” Bouska says. “If Carrie is going to go out there with her message, then we have to go out there and make sure the voices of these girls are heard. And that they are what Miss USA should stand for, too.”

Absolutely!

For those of you who were wondering, the California Supreme Court will rule on the challenge to Prop 8 no later than June 3. You can click here to register to be notified as soon as they have a decision. Stay tuned!

JUST WANTED TO MAKE SURE YOU KNEW!

Because his lawyer is doing all sorts of shady stuff to try to delay the case and confuse the matter. The LA court has agreed to yet another extension, with the next hearing set for May 28. Meanwhile, Chris’s lawyer is trying to get the case dismissed entirely due to evidence leaks, like the pic of Rihanna’s injuries.

“If Geragos makes an issue of leaked evidence, it’s unlikely the judge will dismiss the case,” says L.A. criminal defense attorney Jeffery Rubenstein, who’s not involved in the case. “It’s not police conduct at issue here, it’s Chris Brown’s.”

EXACTLY!

Hopefully the judge AND the public can keep that in mind. The ONLY issue here is that one person violently assaulted another.

So there’s this dumb article about Dennis Hof, the guy who owns that brothel in Nevada, offering Rod Blagojevich a job on the upcoming season of the show about his brothel. Obviously a stupid publicity stunt, but OMG THERE’S AN UPCOMING SEASON OF CATHOUSE!!!! And I never would have known without this publicity stunt!!!

Here’s the article (well, it’s not even an article, it’s on PRNewsWire, so it’s just strictly a press release, really):

After hearing about the federal judge ruling against Rod Blagojevich’s participation in a celebrity reality TV show, Dennis Hof, owner of the world famous Moonlite BunnyRanch would like to offer him an apprenticeship. U.S. District Judge James Zagel ruled that the former governor could not leave the country to film “I’m a Celebrity…Get Me Out of Here,” which is to take place in Costa Rica in June. Dennis Hof is not supportive of the judge’s decision and believes that Rod should have the opportunity to fulfill his reality TV desires with the BunnyRanch.

“I am offering Rod an apprenticeship position, in which he would assist with hiring ladies in addition to facilitating with training and proper disciplinary action,” stated Dennis. This apprenticeship could be featured throughout the upcoming season of HBO’s CatHouse. Rod’s willpower would be challenged daily by the ladies as they bribe him to acquire finer rooms or better working hours and days off. In lieu of Rod’s work throughout the apprenticeship Dennis Hof will pay him a handsome amount of money.

Have I ever told you guys how much I LOVE Cathouse???? I think I wrote about it once years ago, but there haven’t been new episodes in a loooong time, so I haven’t had a reason to obsess on it publicly. But OMG I LOVE THAT SHOW. Here’s what they do: Follow high-class hookers ALL DAY LONG. And because it’s on HBO, they show EVERYTHING, like all the sex sessions, all the behind-the-scenes fights and hook-ups and bribery, and you get to see all the crazy weird things that clients request from them. It’s total crack. I am beyond excited for a new season. BEYOND. Hooray!