Robyn Gibson, wife of Mel, has finally given Mel his walking papers.  The superstar’s wife filed for divorce last Thursday in L.A. County as the final act of their twenty-nine year marriage.  It’s.  About.  Time.

You know, I remember hearing about this marriage and its troubles back in the eighties when I obtained all my celebrity gossip from The National Enquirer or PM Magazine because the closest thing I owned to a computer was my Little Professor.  And believe me, people with computers were using them for munching on pac-dots, not the Internet.  Anyway, back then, the story was that Mel was an irrational, unstable, philandering drunk.  Boy, how times have changed.  Today he’s a bi-polar, alcoholic, wayward, anti-Semitic, homophobe.

It’s always sad to see a marriage end-especially when children are involved.  The Gibsons have seven but only one, Tom, is a minor.  My own personal philosophy is that even the most tragic of happenings have a silver lining.  And the positive in all this?  This bi-polar, alcoholic, wayward, anti-Semitic, homophobe doesn’t have a pre-nup.  In California, that translates to a 50/50 split of assets acquired since 1980.  Something tells me Robyn Gibson has earned.  Every.  Single.  Penny.

“What’s up, Sacramento?”

Sentiments shouted out by lost soul Britney Spears on Sunday at her concert in, sigh, San Jose.

Quite frankly, I can’t believe it’s taken this long, but the oldest of the Duggar children, Josh,  is finally expecting the first of twenty-three babies with his new and subservient wife Anna.  These bitches got married in September and it took her three months to get knocked up?  I think I know what went wrong.  The senior Duggars are constantly saying that the Lord determines how many children they are going to be gifted with.  These two idiots probably sat around for ninety days praying for a blessing before realizing that they would have to actually screw to get some progress.

Here’s some video of the entire color-coordinated clan.  I love that Meredith asked the first question that popped into my own mind when I heard the news:  “Are you planning on carrying on with the whole same initial fuckery?”  The good news is that Josh and Anna feel the letter J is as worn out as Michelle Duggar’s twat.  They are taking a hard look at the letter M, however.

How long until the young couple have their own TLC series with their brood of Moses, Malachi, Martha, Mary, Matthew, Mark, Matthias, Magdalene and Millo?

Good morning!  Today has been one of those days, and I know you’ve also had days like these, where I simply cannot wake up.  I feel like I’m in a drugged haze-unfortunately, I am not.

So, in my efforts to awaken, I’ve been looking at naked chicks this morning.  And I must say, looking at Chelsea Handler in May’s issue of Allure, has jump started me in a most startling and disorienting way.

Make sure you check out the picture of Top Chef‘s Padma Lakshmi and ask yourself this:  How many Carl’s Jr. burgers do you think she’s mouth fucking and still able to look like this?

Also in the gallery, Eliza Dushku and two chicks that I’ve never heard of:  Sharon Leal and Lynn Collins.  But really, are we even thinking about their resumes right this minute?

She sure does make a pretty pregnant lady, doesn’t she?

Nicole Richie — who may or may not have been talking shit to Lindsay Lohan last weekend — took her Starbucks to an appointment today in Hollywood.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again — everything I hear about Nicole Richie behind the scenes indicates that she’s not exactly the peaceful earth mother she’d like you to think she is. She’s still got it in her to be a crazy, raging, drunken bitch. It may not be this year, and it may not be next, but at some point you’re going to see a complete Nicole Richie breakdown, and probably an accompanying DUI, possibly with charges of assault involved. And then you can say you knew it was coming because you read it on Evil Beet. Just you watch.

Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson film scenes for New Moon in Vancouver, Canada.