Did you guys watch Idol tonight? Because of their massive time-constraint FAIL last week (they ran eight minutes over), they decided to have only two judges comment on each of the performances, switching off between Simon & Paula and Randy & Kara. Listen, people. You have SEVEN contestants right now. They each sing for all of two minutes. That is fourteen requisite minutes of content. You can do whatever you want with the rest of the time. Is there really no way these ridiculously well-compensated professionals can keep their egos in check enough to do their reviews quickly? It’s pretty embarrassing when you have to resort to measures like that. I mean, hell, all Paula Abdul needs is fortune cookies to open and read. That’s all she was doing tonight anyway. And the rest of them? You people make like a bazillion dollars an episode. For that kind of money, you still can’t be convinced to share the spotlight? Grow up.

I dare you not to have a gigantic grin on your face as you watch this breaking footage of the First Dog, Bo, arriving at the White House and meeting the First Family, as well as a wall of reporters.

At least he didn’t poop. My dog definitely would have pooped.

I ran it last night, but I’m running it again today, because it’s just that good.

And now the folks over at FOD are saying that Lindsay was in on the joke — in fact, doing the spoof was her idea.

“She wanted to do a Funny or Die video with all the stuff that everyone’s saying,” director Eric Appel tells Us. “She wanted to respond to it in a funny way, show that she gets it.”

Lohan reached out to Will Ferrell’s manager Wednesday about shooting a spoof. By Thursday, the team was pitching her ideas. On Friday, they had a script written. They filmed the one-and-a-half-minute clip in under two hours on Saturday.

“She came up with the stuff about being a threat to all security guards — she improvised while doing it,” he says. “She threw in a bunch of fun, funny stuff.”

The actress also holds up a cover of Us Weekly, which Appel says, “was a last minute thing. We all came up with the idea collectively and sent someone to the store to buy one. It was her idea to say, ‘I’m so alone’ directly into the camera.”

The director complimented her professionalism and acting skills, which is something you don’t hear a lot of these days. “She came in, did her thing, was really professional,” Appel says. “People forget Lindsay Lohan’s, like, a good actress. There’s so much attention [to everything she does], but…you forget this girl has really good comic timing.”

On a side note — and one that pertains specifically to Lindsay — the homophobes over at eHarmony were recently forced to launch a same-sex dating site as part of a settlement with New Jersey’s Civil Rights Division. More on that over at our sister site, Zelda Lily.

Ryan Seacrest landed at LAX yesterday with his new girlfriend in tow.

She’s absolutely gorgeous and I hate her already, but I have no idea who she is! Oh well. I’d rather she be sleeping with Ryan Seacrest than with my precious, precious Adam Lambert.

Can anyone ID this chica? There are some better pics of her in the thumbnails.

GROSS!!!!

When all is said and done, I’m hoping to get a full count on exactly how many people at Dominos get fired as a result of this video, which is all over the Internet today. Anyone wanna be my tipster?

The Gibson fortune? Is estimated at $900M. When the couple met in the ’70s, she was a dental assistant and he was an unknown actor. They most certainly have no pre-nup. They share a $26-million Costa Rican pad, a $15-million island in Fiji, a $42-million church Mel is building in Malibu and the $12-million Malibu home they purchased from David Duchovny and Tea Leoni. The Gibsons also own second home in Malibu that they bought for $1.9 million and a 9-acre piece of property in L.A. valued at $3.5 million.

Robyn is expected to get 50% in the divorce, as per California law. “She’ll probably get $450 million,” says a California judge. This number is staggering, even by Hollywood standards. It’s nearly half a billion dollars. Michael Jordan’s ex-wife Juanita received $168 million and Neil Diamond’s ex, Marcia, was awarded $150 million. Steven Spielberg’s first wife, actress Amy Irving, walked with $100 million.

And let me tell you, this woman has earned it. Can you imagine being married to an alcoholic, homophobic anti-Semite who thinks he’s God’s gift for 28 years? Raising children with him? Sheesh. You take that money and have some fun, girl. Don’t look back.

Also, can we go ahead and get Prop 8 overturned in a hurry so that I can marry her? I’m 27 years old now, for chrissake. I’m ready to stop working and start buying islands. I’d be good at it, I think. I want one with elephants on it. Kthxbai.