No, not Lindsay. Not yet.

Those disgusting people who made the disgusting Domino’s YouTube vids have been arrested! The charge was “contaminating food distributed to the public.” You can check out their mug shots above. And get this — the chick has a record!

The chick, Kristy Hammonds, has a criminal history that includes a conviction for sexual battery last June and convictions for possession of stolen property and breaking into a vending machine. How does a chick get charged with sexual battery? (We’re actually talking about this topic over on our sister site, Zelda Lily.) She’s expected to post bond today. The dude, Michael Setzer, posted bond last night and had no comment for reporters as he left.

If convicted, Hammonds and Setzer could be sentenced to four months to one year in jail. Serves them right!!!!!

Oh, but I have to say, I have a new respect for Domino’s. Not only have they handled this situation with PR genius, they also have a pizza tracker! I was whining last night on Twitter about how my Pizza Hut pizza was late and I wanted to know EXACTLY WHERE IT WAS and a bunch of people told me that you actually CAN do that on the Domino’s website. Pizza Hut! Get on the ball!!!

You know how you can always tell that Lindsay’s drunk?

She does this exact pose. It’s drunk-Lindsay pose. It’s a dead giveaway.

Here’s Lindsers at the launch of A/X Watches in LA yesterday.

Hey, guys.  I have to go see my dermatologist this morning so he can do horrible, terrible and terrifying procedures to me.  If I survive the ordeal, and I don’t harbor high hopes that I will, I’ll be back later for more bonding.

Until then, I expect that you will assist me in ascertaining what, specifically, is wrong with the ensemble Sophia Bush wore last night to the A|X watches launch party. Should a woman just never have an ocean wave extending across the broadest part of her body?  Are the shoes just a tad bit too S&M?  Is there some unevenness going on in the chesticles area?  Help unravel the mystery.

Side note to spellchecker:  “Chesticles” is so a word.

Will this crap never end? Who doesn’t have a reality TV show? Little Rudy Huxtable, aka Keshia Knight Pulliam, is developing a show for Oxygen about her life with her live-in boyfriend, Atlanta area entrepreneur Kaseem Penn. It will explore what it’s like being young, rich, single and co-habitating. No air date is set for the show, titled Keshia and Kaseem.

Sheesh. How many times does this same show have to be made? And how many relationships have to be destroyed in the process? I swear, the next time I want to break up with a guy but I’m not sure how to say it, I’m gonna be like, “Hey, uh, do you want to see if we can do a reality TV show about our relationship?” And then he’ll know that it’s over.

Oh, and also, Mini-Me sex-tape partner Ranae Shrider is claiming on her Twitter and on her Facebook that she’s filming a reality TV show about her life in Hollywood. SERIOUSLY! She reportedly has a production company and a network on board, although she’s being very hush-hush about it. I actually think I’d be more interested in her life than in Keshia’s. I hope there will be midgets.

“I found myself in the company of Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera, who had really quality music, much more so than mine. I’m sure there are people scratching their heads, going ‘Wow, how is she still around?’”

Total suckfest Mandy Moore, talking about her career in the late ’90s to Details magazine. Mandy also swears a bunch and takes off a lot of her clothes for the piece, which exists to promote her new album, Amanda Leigh, where she claims she’s doing music she really believes in. I’m sure that means it’ll suck even more than her past albums.

Nadya Suleman, aka “The Octomom,” is looking to trademark the term “Octomom.” The only problem is that someone else beat her to the punch: a Houston-based novelty company filed an application with the trademark office a month before she did. Only one other person thought to do that??? I would have expected at least 100 applications to be filed. It’s a good word to own these days.

Nadya’s lawyers are getting in the ring to get that word back:

“It’s not going to matter because they had no permission from Nadya, who has the rightful claim to the name ‘Octomom’, ” says Suleman’s attorney Jeff Czech.

Suleman has previously said she disliked being called “Octomom,” but the unemployed mother of 14 realized it could be used to provide a source of revenue for her family. “She’s never warmed to it, but the idea would be for others to use it for licensing,” says Czech. “It’s just a smart thing to do.”

I don’t know shit about the law, but I don’t see how Nadya has the right to this word over anyone else. After all, she didn’t think of it. Bloggers did. See how much value we add to the economy?