I love me some Rosie O’Donnell.  I was one of the seventy-three people that watched her variety show the night before Thanksgiving when I could have been making pumpkin pies instead, and didn’t totally hate it.  Well, I hated it but was willing to forgive and move on.  Until today.

Has Rosie finally made the transition from daytime talk-show host to full-time Oompah Loompah?  Was she confronted in a dark alley by a spray gun wielding Lindsay Lohan?  Is she trying to make a statement of support for our first African American president?  So.  Many.  Questions.  Last night she attended the 2009 Dramatists Guild Fund Annual Benefit Gala, also known as the 2009 Another Useless Excuse For Rich People To Gather Gala, and really lit up the room.  Well, her chiclets did, at least.

I realize white will always look starker against Coppertone SPF 0 skin dark colors.  But here’s the real question:  What is whiter?  Angela Lansbury or Rosie’s very own teeth?

Source is everything.  If Star was reporting this, I’d be totally dismissive.  But paparazzi agency Bauer-Griffin, the people who make it their life to stalk celebrities, claim that Rihanna and Chris Brown spent the night together last week.

Shortly after arriving back to L.A. from Kansas… Rihanna went house mansion-hunting in the Hollywood Hills. The singer checked out several properties (many of which were in the $5 million price range).

Meeeeeeanwhile, Chris Brown had been holed up in the swanky Sofitel Hotel. But, Chris checked out to spend the night at Rihanna’s. Before heading her way, he hopped across the street to the Beverly Center where he picked up some Godiva chocolates.

Well, well, well.  On March 18th, 2009 at approximately 5:42 a.m. PST, didn’t I say that this break up story was a bunch of BS purposely crafted in hopes of saving the shreds of their compromised careers?  I.  Think.  I.  Did.

My husband and I have been together over five years and have never been to the movies together.  It takes an act of God or Robert Downey, Jr. to get me to watch movies in a communal and over-air conditioned setting.  But this could be the weekend that I break rank and actually go to the movies.  Do you think they’ll let me bring in my Snuggie?

Last night was the premiere of The Soloist, a movie that sounds fascinating to me.  It’s a true story of a musician, played by Jamie Foxx, a prodigious violinist and cellist who starts suffering from schizophrenia while studying at Julliard.  He ends up becoming one of L.A.’s homeless.

So, yeah.  Totally putting on my bubblegum-dodging shoes and going to see this.

Beyond all the beautiful people at the screening last night (how is Halle Berry allowed to still look as amazing as she does?), Nathaniel Ayers, the man that the movie is based on, also attended.

You know who else was there?  Eva Pigford.  If you watch America’s Next Top Model, you’ll recognize her as the third season winner.  I was reading a little bit about her and she changed her name to Eva Marcille, but that never took because people already know her with the pig name.  Now she’s engaged to an actor-Lance Gross.  Obviously, Eva is just destined to have a horrible last name no matter what.

Mary Carey, the porn-star-turned-gubernatorial-candidate-turned-rehabette on VH1′s Sober House, was spotted getting wasted and pole-dancing at JET Nightclub in The Mirage. Says a spy: “She was doing shot after shot but managed to hold onto her booze while working that pole like the pro that she is. She had a huge wardrobe malfunction in the underwear department. Every time she kicked her leg up in the air the nearby partiers got an up close view of her naughty bits.”

Now I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: I hate hate HATE those VH1 shows about celebrities in rehab. The addiction to fame goes hand-in-hand with the addiction to alcohol and drugs, and you CANNOT effectively treat one while engaging the other. These shows do these people a huge disservice, and I think VH1 and especially Dr. Drew — who took the Hippocratic oath that begins “first, do no harm” — ought to be ashamed of themselves.

I’ll tell you what makes me even more upset: My “source” here is a PR agency. And it’s not Mary Carey’s PR agency. I’ll leave it as an exercise for the reader to guess who this PR firm represents. But the email was very clear: These photos and this story are NOT to be attributed back to the agency. They just want it to look like a leak. They want Mary Carey to get better soooo badly that they’re willing to totally throw her under the bus and alert the media when she slips up, as addicts are wont to do. Classy, folks. Real classy. Don’t watch this shit, people. They’re destroying lives.

The much-talked-about Craigslist killer suspect is currently in custody, as of today, although police are refusing to release details about his identity. The man is suspecting of killing a woman in Boston last week after answering her ad for “massage” service on Craigslist. Authorities believe the case is connected to the attempted robbery Thursday in Rhode Island of an exotic dancer by a man responding to an ad she had posted on Craigslist.

I’m kind of surprised with all the attention surrounding this story — mostly, because I can’t believe it’s only happening now. With all the anonymous personal sex requests that go up on Craigslist every day (for a good laugh, check out their casual encounters section), how is it that we’re just now seeing people murdered as a result? It almost speaks to the goodness of humanity — it’s taken this many years for someone to use this hugely viable and anonymous medium to actually kill a total stranger. I think that’s odd. I thought serial killers were supposed to be tech-savvy; at least that’s what I’ve learned from the movies.

Over on our sister site, Zelda Lily, we have a discussion going on about this — we’re talking about stalkers in general, and our writer Sarah Spangenberg shares about her own frightening experience with a stranger-turned-stalker. Have your own story to tell? The thread is here.

Looks like a happy ending for everyone. At least this week. Just over a month after his ex-girlfriend Mandy “Suckfest” Moore got hitched to Ryan Adams, Andy Roddick tied the knot with his girlfriend, model Brooklyn Decker.

The athlete, 26, wed his longtime girlfriend, Sports Illustrated model Brooklyn Decker, 21, in an intimate ceremony Friday evening … “It was really simple but beautiful,” a source tells Us. “Just close friends and family.”

Roddick and Decker exchanged platinum wedding bands by Tiffany & Co. during the ceremony, which included a performance by Elton John. …

News of the Friday ceremony was first reported last week by the New York Post, who said Decker celebrated her upcoming wedding with bridesmaids during “a big bachelorette weekend” on April 11 in Chapel Hill, North Carolina.

“They just bounced around and had a great time,” added the paper.

The couple met in 2007 when Roddick asked his agent to contact Decker’s agent after seeing her in SI.

So let’s get this straight: They met because he liked some photos of her in a bikini. He had his people talk to her people. She’s 21. And now they’re married. This is gonna last a looooong time, people. Like maybe even six months.