IT'S ALRIGHT, IT'S OK official music video

Because when your boyfriend’s cheating on you, the appropriate thing to do is trash his house with your friends and take photos of yourself making out with a random dude and leave them for him to find, because that’s going to make him so sad and he’ll totally miss you and won’t at all think of you as a psychotic bitch who never deserved his loyalty anyway. This is a far better approach than simply walking away with your dignity intact. Great message, Tiz.

Wait, who won the Miss USA pageant on Sunday night? Oh, right, nobody cares. It was Miss North Carolina, but any attention she may have had as a result of winning has been eclipsed by this Miss California scandal. (BTW, “Miss California” is a great song by Jack’s Mannequin, but that’s the only context in which I support it these days.)

Carrie “Haterade” Prejean was on the Today Show today, digging her hole even deeper. She admits that her answer cost her the crown (as well it should!) but she stands by her hateful answer, and claims that she had “spoken from my heart, for my beliefs and for my God.” She adds that “it’s not about being politically correct; for me, it’s about being biblically correct.”

Miz Prejean, you and I have very different Gods. I hope that one day you can find a faith in something a little less spiteful.

Check out a preview of The Phone, a new show Justin’s producing for MTV. Umm, I may have to add this to my slim roster of shows.

You may not know her by name, but you know who she is — the other half (two-thirds?) of the Mini-Me sex tape. Ranae Shrider and I have become friends over the Internets, and this weekend in LA I actually had a chance to meet her. What I found was a person completely different from the crazy hanger-on that’s been portrayed in the media. She’s funny, charming, smart, independent, open-hearted and all too willing to laugh at herself. I told my girlfriends later, “You guys, she’s totally someone we’d hang out with.” And it’s true! She’s a very cool girl who I’m happy to call a friend.

After a yummy lunch, Ranae and I sat down to do some vlogging. I asked her the questions I’ve always wanted to ask her: What’s it like having sex with Mini-Me? How big is he down there? What positions work best? How is it, ya know, enjoyable? Ranae totally dished, and all the goods are in the clip above.

However, we talked about WAY more than Verne — Ranae’s been working as an actress in LA since before she even met him, and she also dished about her current projects, her relationship with Hef’s new girlfriends, Ron Jeremy’s take on her relationship with Verne, haters on the Internet, and why I need to get laid. You can watch the full-length interview in the clips below.

Guys, I’m really sorry about this Linds news every single day.  You know how I feel about her, but these stories just keep popping up and I’m afraid that if I don’t report them, Beet will punish me by making me watch a twenty-four hour-long compilation DVD of the works of Julia Roberts, or something as equally horrific.

Anyway, Ellen DeGeneres and wife Portia de Rossi, or Double De as they are affectionately called by me, attended the 20th Annual GLAAD Media Awards in which Ellen won Outstanding Talk Show Episode for the episode of Ellen that featured Ellen and Portia’s wedding.  Ellen told Access Hollywood, “We didn’t register, so this is nice. We get an award!”

She also let it be known that Lindsay Lohan is set to appear on Ellen.  “I’m excited. I want to hear what Lindsay has to say and [I] hope she gets back to her career.  She seems to be reaching out to people lately… I hope she’s OK… she’s so talented.  I’m going to ask her what’s going on and let her have a platform to speak.”

Can someone, anyone, please explain to me just how talented Lindsay Lohan is?  I’m not kidding right now, I’m open to learning.  What production, done within the last five years (because we cannot allow Linds to still be riding on the hair extensions coattails of Parent Trap), has Lindsay appeared in and been “so talented,”?  I respect Ellen a lot both as a human and as a comedienne so I’m sure she’s right and I’m just overlooking some body of work.  And if Lindsay was good in something, I really need to watch whatever it was so I can be more educated on this loved and hated girl.  Call it research for the job.

I’ve got two open slots on my Netflix queue right now.  Tell me what Lohan masterpiece I need to order up.  Go.

“I am a huge fan of Forever 21 and I’m very happy they have expanded their line to include a plus-size range, but I am not in that size category and this article makes it sound like I am! I am a curvy girl and I love my curves, but curvy and plus-sized are two very different things. I work really hard to maintain my curves while staying slim and healthy, so to be classed as a ‘fuller-figured woman’ of extra large proportions is a little offensive.  For the record, I am a size 2, not 2XL.”

Kim Kardashian, yet another member to join Jennifer Love Hewitt and Jessica Simpson in the Size Two Club,  blogging about how offensive she finds it to be called “fuller-figured” in the latest issue of Us Magazine.