In London’s Piccaddilly Circus this week, 100 woman flash-mobbed the square to “celebrate” (read: “promote”) London’s free Beyonce concert in November, sponsored by Trident. Yeah, that’s right, the gum. The packets of gum all have barcodes on them, and a limited number of the barcodes grant you access to the Beyonce show. So it’s kind of like Willy Wonka except with considerably fewer Oompa Loompas but probably a lot more aerial work. (I’m gonna go ahead and call the chocolate ratio a tie.)

I feel like I’ve watched people do this dance on YouTube clips with such regularity that I might just spring up out of bed one night and start doing it, nailing all the moves perfectly. I’ve never studied dance, but I’m pretty sure I could at least test into some masters-level courses in tap and ballet with the sheer amount of exposure I’ve had to the Single Ladies dance. You think I’m kidding? Once when I was 13, Juilliard offered me a full scholarship to their dance program when they saw me do the Achy Breaky Heart dance at a Bat Mitzvah. (I politely declined; I knew another young woman was waiting in the wings to build an ill-deserved career on Billy Ray Cyrus’s name. You’re welcome, Miley.)

Thanks Anthony!

Lauren Conrad may be done filming The Hills, but she’s not ready to leave TV entirely. She just filmed a guest spot for Family Guy — playing herself, per usual, except this time it turns out she’s a genius! Hey, at least she’s not pulling an Audrina and trying to get into acting or pulling a Heidi and releasing crappy singles — LC knows what she’s good at, and she’s stickin’ to that. There’s some credit due there.

Lauren says of her Guy gig, “The idea in the episode is that they make fun of me for being dumb and then discover that I’m actually a genius, and that [Lauren Conrad is] kind of a character I play [on TV], because America likes dumb people.”

And how did L.C. handle the challenges of playing a cartoon genius?

She says, “I hired an acting coach just for the day because a lot of the lines later on in the episode are very complicated. I’m talking a lot about history and theorems and conductors, and there’s a lot of facts and a lot of big words, and I had to say it as if it was coming to me very easily, so I had to learn the lines ahead of time rather than just reading them. I actually had to research some of them because the acting coach told me that if I really understood what I was talking about, it would come through a little more true.”

What do you think, America? Do you like dumb people?

Lauren’s episode will air May 3.

“Re: 420, I don’t smoke pot anymore. I just pay a dude 50 bucks to come over, press lightly on my chest and tell me all my ideas are awesome.”

John Mayer, Twittering on April 20th.

I wonder if he decided to do this before or after he split from Jennifer Aniston. We all know she likes herself some grass.

Hells yeah! You guys remember how pissed I was that NBC had asked ousted Illinois governor Rod Blagojevich to appear on their summer craptacular, I’m a Celebrity … Get Me Out of Here! So I’m absolutely delighted to hear that a judge has denied his request to leave the country to film the show in Costa Rica. (Rod is currently out on bail awaiting his trial for selling Barack Obama’s Senate seat to the highest bidder.)

NBC said in a statement that they have no plans to move filming to the US to allow this asswipe to participate.

Meanwhile, American Idol also-ran Sanjaya Malakar has joined the cast, along with Janice Dickinson, Geraldo Rivera and Duane “Dog the Racist Bounty Hunter” Chapman (another choice I disagree with).

Lindsay covers her face from the photogs as she leaves h.wood in LA. She sure is teensy tiny these days! And can anyone remember the last night that Lindsay wasn’t out at a club somewhere? It’s just like the old days …

Brooke spent some time in Miami this weekend filming her new music video (wait, really???) with her new boyfriend, rapper Yannique Barker. This makes perfect sense, actually. Her mother dates men who are half her age. Brooke can’t do that without tip-toeing into statutory rape, so instead she’s dating men who are half her size.

Whatever. I can’t wait to see this video. I’m sure it’ll be AMAZING and bubbling over with talent and intelligence, like everything Brooke does.