Well, I can’t believe I’m about to write these words but apparently Mike Tyson is doling out advice regarding domestic violence.  Feel free to take a moment to let that sink in.

And maybe I’m being overcritical, but there’s something about how he calls women “them” during an interview with MTV that doesn’t sit well with me.  Who ever knew a pronoun could sound offensive?

“You can’t abuse them,” he tells MTV. “It’s really sick what you [can] do. She has a space in your heart and you believe you care about her more than anybody in the world.

“Do I think it’s right to beat up a woman? No — hell no,” he adds. “Have I hit a woman before? Hell yeah. Was I wrong? Hell yeah. I’m a product of that environment. Do I regret ever doing that? Hell yeah. Would I do it again? Never.”

He shared his opinion on the Chris Brown/Rihanna debacle as well:

It’s none of my business, but you know what I say about that? I understand the situation. I understand passion with young kids,” Tyson, 42, tells MTV News.

“My personal opinion about that is, he’s just a baby,” adds the former heavyweight champ, who is the subject of a new documentary, Tyson, out Friday. “He’s just a little baby that don’t know how to handle his emotions when it comes to a woman. And he probably hears this and thinks, ‘I know how to handle my emotions’; we all think we do.

“But the fact [is],” Tyson continues, “you look at this person and you might be crazy in love, but we don’t know how to handle those feelings.”

What could have led Brown to beat Rihanna, 21? Tyson blames a “pimp mentality” that is prevalent among young people. “Now you’re a fly guy and a cool guy [you think] … you have to be hard like that,” he says.

Listen, I’m happy anytime a celeb takes a stand against domestic violence.  In some ways, it’s even more meaningful coming out of Mike Tyson’s mouth since he’s had a penchant in the past for punching women in the mouth and has a rap sheet the length of my inseam to prove it.  But why the excuses?  Why does it have to be about “pimp mentality” and youth?  Why can’t it just be totally effing unacceptable?

Jessica Biel and alleged kidnapper Clark Rockefeller Christian Karl Gerhartsreiter Justin Timberlake at an L.A. Lakers game last night.  Pictures in the gallery of Timberlake mounting his ho for benefit of the Jumbo Tron and the naysayers, of course.

In case you haven’t noticed, in the past few weeks we’ve been slowly rolling out a new web project. It’s called Zelda Lily: Feminism in a Bra, and it’s a website dedicated to women (although men are welcome!), and to bringing the concept of feminism back into the mainstream. I’ve long been bothered that the presence of “feminism,” particularly on the web, adheres to a strict, and often exclusive, doctrine. Being a woman involves so many more viewpoints and choices and ways of life than traditional feminism allows for, and I wanted to make a website that was about finding power and joy in being a woman, regardless of how you choose to go about it. The feedback so far has been overwhelmingly positive, so if you haven’t checked it out, please wander over to ZeldaLily.com and let us know what you think.

That said, one of our enormously talented writers, Maria-Mercedes Lara, has launched an advice column over on Zelda Lily. It’s called Bitchy Q’s, and its goal, in her words, is as follows:

Dealing with passive-aggressive friends or bully co-workers or annoying neighbors can be emotionally draining, especially when you know that “the high road” is going to be humiliating or just increase the stickiness of your situation. Sometimes you need to know how to handle situations with just the right touch of bitchiness, intelligence and tact, and that is why we are launching “Bitchy Q’s,” a weekly advice column where we (okay, I) tell you how to be more of a bitch. (With apologies to the New York Times “Social Q’s” column.) Just to clarify: I am not talking about being a screaming, embarrassing and unreasonably mean bitch; I’m talking about being the kind of bitch that gets her point across, gets things done and can logically explain herself to others.

You can check out the post here for more info on Bitchy Q’s, and please feel free to submit questions to maria-mercedes@zeldalily.com.

The Hills’ Audrina Patridge is the face, or toned abdomen, of the newest PETA Be an Angel For Animals-Always Adopt, Never Buy print campaign.  She’s released a statement through the organization that reads:  “Each year, 6 to 8 million unwanted dogs and cats are turned in to shelters, and half are killed because there aren’t enough good homes. The solution is as easy as ABC – animal birth control. Always spay and neuter, and never buy from a pet store or a breeder.”

So while you’re feeling bad about yourself for plunking down your Amex in the name of being the proud new owner of some designerpup, riddle me this:  Does Audrina Patridge look completely different?  Can you move eyeball position with Photoshop?  What is going on and why doesn’t Audrina look at ceilings anymore?

Friends, I realize that I have a lot of  “I told you so” moments.  So, the next time one of my statements or predictions prove true, I won’t get all obnoxious extolling my amazing talent of perception.  Unless it’s when Jessica Biel and Justin Timberlake break up.  Or J. Lo and Skeletor.  Or when the world learns what I’ve always known:  Beyonce can’t sing.  Oh, and how that moment is here.

Howard Stern got hold of a copy of Beyonce’s board mix when she performed If I Were A Boy last year on the Today Show.  Basically, when singers perform on shows, they usually lip-synch to a recorded track so that they sound perfect.  Often, they will actually sing along to their recorded track but the audience won’t hear that.  So, this is a recording of the uber-talent’s actual singing voice.  Please listen and continue to tell me how talented she is.

I sounded more melodious when I was unmedicated and pushing a human being out of my loins.  Someone, give me a Grammy!

Billy Bob Thornton appeared last night on Jimmy Kimmel Live! to clear up any misuderstandings about his bitchy exchange earlier this month with a Canadian broadcaster.  Turns out, he’s not insane-he just “gave humpbacked geeks all over the world something to do.”  Humpbacked geeks?  What does that mean?  Is he talking about…bloggers?  Because I am not humpbacked!

The good news is that you don’t have to suffer through eight plus minutes of BBT footage to get to the part where he explains what he was thinking.  It’s all in the beginning, before he goes on to talk about a bunch of crap that no one cares about.