Now, when I said she looked like a box of popcorn, obviously I meant the fat-free variety.  The very bony Nicky Hilton attended the 14th Annual Los Angeles Antiques Show opening last night, appearing in desperate need of a calorie.

Nick Lachey was also there with girlfriend Vanessa Minnillo.  Does this put to rest the rumors that she was hanging all over 90210 actor Matt Lanter the night before?  I say “NO!” based on the couple’s body language.  Nothing says “impending breakup” like a jaw clamped shut as tightly as Miley Cyrus’ kneecaps.

“Actress” Shiva Rose was there.  I consider this woman about one step away from a miracle worker.  Not only did she manage to stay married in Hollywood (to Dylan McDermott) for more than a decade before her marriage imploded, she divorced with…wait for it…no lawyers on either side.  Amazing!

Hilary Swank appeared with her agent and boyfriend John Campisi.  I’m sorry, but he looks like Chad Lowe.  Doesn’t he?  Oh, the soft spot she has for a receding hairline, large forehead and weak chin.

Finally, Chris Klein was there.  Boy, he looks so familiar.  It’s almost like there’s someone in Hollywood who has that same face.  Who could it be? *cough*SuriCruise*cough*

I can’t find a new and interesting way to pretend that I give a flying fig about Lindsay Lohan so I’m just going to report the deets of her Ellen interview so we can all proceed to the business of tuning in today and analyzing every hair extension flip and to see if she’s wearing black leggings.  Oh, who am I kidding?  I’m tuning in to see how red her nostrils are.

Linds talked about the one thing more difficult that having your love life played out in the media.  “When you don’t know you’re breaking up.  Really weird.”  Lindsay maintains that the split “came out of nowhere.”  Which I find odd since anyone reading any blog could see it coming from a mile away.  Apparently, Sam Ronson just dropped off the radar. “I had no idea what was going on. I just hadn’t seen her in, like, a week. She, like, disappeared.”

From one celebulez to another, though I have personally started calling Lohan La Cage aux Faux Lez, Ellen talked about her own break from Anne Heche in which “I kind of lost my career for a little while and I went away … and I literally hibernated and got myself back together.”  She asked Lindsay if she too wanted to disappear for awhile.  The entire creative industry heaved a collective sigh of relief when Lohan said that she didn’t.  “I feel like I want to get my career back in shape,” Linds claimed.

I guess we’ll just have to wait and see what happens.  It’s clear that she’s holding out hope for a reconciliation.  She said, “I really care about Samantha and we’ll see what happens.  Maybe when we’re fully in the right place. And I love her.”

She also has been spending a lot of time with her sister right now.  Just how exhausting do you think Linds is to be with right now?  It feels totally unnatural for me to say this, but I feel bad for Ali Lohan.  That.  Poor.  Child.

As much distaste as I may personally feel for Beyonce, and I feel a lot, fairness and truth must prevail.  So, in said fairness, I sadly report that this board mix recording of Beyonce performing on Today was apparently altered by someone who hates Beyonce as much as I do.

Beyonce has officially been cleared of all bad singing charges — the atrocious supposed “board mix” of her performance on “The Today Show” last year was altered after all.

Just as Mathew Knowles told us, the audio clip that many people believed was leaked from “Today” was indeed a fake.

In fact, TMZ found the person behind the prank who was surprised it went as far as it did, saying, “It’s a little bit crazy. No one in their right mind would sound like that, and no one would cheer for someone singing like that.”

Oh, those twits at TMZ seemed so confident in their source!  I trusted and now I must live with the devastation that she didn’t actually sound like she was stuck under the wheels of an SUV.

People, this is not the way to start my day.  Hold me.

Marla Maples made an appearance at the opening of the Malibu Lumber Yard today, with daughter Tiffany Trump in tow.

Tiffany and Ivanka Trump have different mothers, but doesn’t Tiffany look a LOT like her older half-sister? Especially in the mouth???

Those Trump genes are STRONG.

Camila Alves and Matthew McConaughey looked very much the happy couple at the grand opening of the Malibu Lumber Yard in (of course) Malibu.

Also there: The rarely seen Lacey Chabert (Claudia Salinger!!!), Mena Suvari (who’s ditched the shaved-head look in favor of some long extensions), Rick & Kathy Hilton, Garcelle Beauvais, Holly Robinson Peete, Kelly Carlson and Vanessa Minnillo (sans Nick!).

Is everyone getting super psyched for the new Star Trek movie??? I know I am!!! (But, then again, I’m a huge nerd.)

I was interested to learn today that the lead role of a young Captain Kirk was originally offered to Matt Damon — but he passed on it. The role was given to newcomer Chris Pine. However, it seems like director J.J. Abrams has made his peace with that.

He tells Life magazine, “I actually approached Matt and we had some discussions, but everything happens for a reason. On the one hand, it would have been great to work with Matt – but at the end of the day, it was such a better move to cast the movie with unknowns … It is fun to discover the stars of tomorrow, but even more so, just like with the first Star Wars, you didn’t know who those people were when you saw the movie. You believed that guy was Luke Skywalker. You didn’t recognize him from six other movies. You bought into who this guy was. It is a slippery slope when you cast any actor that is somewhat known. We weren’t beholden to any fame meter.”

I agree! I think it’s great that the cast is composed of relative unknowns. It’s Star Trek, after all — it doesn’t need a big name to be a box office draw. Plus I think Chris Pine is absolutely edible!