Unlucky (or lucky, depending on how you feel about that kind of thing) audience members at Britney’s Anaheim, California concert were treated to a nice up-skirt shot of Britney’s braided cotton Tampax string, dangling from her underwear. From detached hair extensions to microphone mishaps, it seems like every stop on this tour has had its own unique mini-disaster.

Nonetheless, I find it amazing that she could sing or dance while dealing with her period. There aren’t many people–myself included– who would have the gametes to get up there and do a choreographed dance routine in a skirt that short while blood is painfully leaking from their genitalia. Perhaps the wardrobe department should have come up with a costume contingency plan for this time of the month.

Jamie Lynn Spears was rushed to a Jackson, Mississippi hospital last night to be at the side of her boyfriend and father of her 10 month old child, Casey Aldridge, who was in critical condition after being involved in a nasty traffic accident.

Aldridge was driving home at 1:30 a.m. Sunday when he wrecked his Ford F150 with two male pals in the car, one of whom broke his collar bone. The source adds that Casey has a hematoma and doctors fear he has a blood clot in his brain. He may be heading into surgery, a source tells RadarOnline.com

Aldridge underwent surgery this morning to drain fluid from his brain, and sources now report that he is in serious but stable condition. A fan website is reporting that Casey was not wearing his seat belt and was thrown from the vehicle, while People quotes a source as saying that his condition is “not as serious as we thought at first.” Radar Online is also reporting that Aldridge will be charged with careless operation of a motor vehicle.

Let’s hope he pulls through and will be around for his daughter for many years to come. That baby needs all the help and support it can get.

My boyfriend once confessed to me that the reason for that awkward, hands-on-sides, shuffle from side to side slow dance that teenage boys engage in at prom is not, in fact, due to a complete inability to dance. He revealed that the awkward two step was in fact a plot, designed as the best dancing format in which a horny teenage boy could slide his hands ever so slowly up or down on a girl’s waist in a charmingly lame pubescent attempt to cop a feel of some sidebutt or sideboob.

Those childish attempts at groping are forgivable (and even a little endearing) when perpetrated by a 16 year old on another 16 year old. However, it’s just pathetic and creepy when it’s a 65 year old man doing it to a 21 year old woman… at a press junket for the premiere of her new film, where she probably feels she can’t haul off and slap you in your skeevy face without causing a big scandal.

Chevy Chase was all over Hilary Duff at the premiere of Stay Cool during the Tribeca Film Festival this past Thursday, and no one did anything to check his lechery, including Duff– who looks like a deer caught in the headlights in some of the photos. For those of you who doubt my assertion that the picture above is a blatant attempt at sideboob groping, I have corroborating evidence. Look at this photo from the after party later that night:

There are more, and they’re worse. If you’re still not convinced, look at these photos.

I mean, Caddyshack was a good movie and all, but that doesn’t mean you can hand-rape my Duff.

The five of you out there who still watch The Real World might recognize the male Snuggie model pictured above as Scott Herman from the recent Brooklyn-based incarnation of the show. Snuggie has plans to release new, collegiate versions of their completely unnecessary line of creepy cult wear, and has released these advertisements of the new products. Good for him that he was able to parlay his brush with reality TV stardom into such a lucrative endorsement deal.

I still love watching their infomercials. They make it seem like blankets are just so confusing and difficult to use– how did anyone ever answer the phone while laying on a sofa before Snuggie was invented?

Remember these disturbing pictures of an emaciated Lindsay shopping with sister Ali last week? They’ve raised concerns amongst some medical professionals– at least amongst the ones who have diet books to promote.

Lohan, a native of Merrick who is coping with the recent end of her relationship with DJ Samantha Ronson, was photographed in a cream halter-neck sun dress looking, in the words of one New York medical professional, “like she walked out of a concentration camp.”

“It’s really depressing to me that no one is willing to step in and do something about it,” said Dr. Fred Pescatore, author of “The Hamptons Diet.”

Several medical experts say Lohan looks to weigh between 85 and 95 pounds in these newest photos. A normal woman of that age, at 5-foot-5, should be closer to 130 – 115 if we’re talking “Hollywood actress.”

85 to 95 pounds… I’m pretty sure that once your total body weight drops below the amount of cocaine you snort in a week, you should seek medical help.
I joke, but really, it’s scary that she weighs that little. I’m not the sort of person who pleads for stars to have interventions– I’m not a member of her family and I doubt Lindsay reads this blog. But she really does need someone to put her ass in the hospital. Right now.

We all know by now that a certain “celebrity” (and I use the word here in absolutely the loosest sense possible) couple got married this weekend. The internet is littered with articles warning us that we should now live in fear of the day when they will combine the best aspects of their genetic material to produce vapid, attractive, little blonde music-murdering douche babies.

You’ve probably already read three or four articles about them, so in the interest of the public good, I’m staging an intervention. I’m here to remind you that it’s hockey playoff season. You’d do well by yourself to avoid reading any more articles about that unholy union and watch hockey instead. Or even basketball, if that’s your thing.

For my part, I promise that (for today at least) this page shall not pollute the internet with one more article about their tying the knot. I do what I can.