Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Jessica Alba’s Ass Is A Gift

jessicaalbasass

Okay, so speaking of tattoos, Jessica Alba has a bow at the top of her ass crack.  Doesn’t that just tell you that she views anal as the greatest gift she can ever offer a man?  Ink that makes a statement:  “I’m Jessica Fucking Alba.  I offer my rectum to you.  You’re.  Welcome.”

I think I’m supposed to be focused on the fact that Alba now has blond hair, which I find to be a huge mistake.  Why must olive complected women give in to the blond?  Ladies, work with what you have and embrace the exoticness-“brunette” is not a dirty word.  Pictures in the gallery of that fuckery.

26 CommentsLeave a comment

  • I’m one of those “anal is so gross” people…
    Luckily so is my fiance.
    I don’t judge you if you like it though, I just believe mine is a one way street.

    • That’s what I said to my husband on our second date. Luckily he didn’t hear and now I’m a beliver ;-)

    • All 3 of your fuckholes are capable of being gross & disgusting if not cleaned religously. It’s all about HYGEINE! After 5 or 10 years of the same old routine sex with your husband, you might find yourself singing a different tune.

    • All 3 of your fuckholes are capable of being gross & disgusting if not cleaned religiously. It’s all about HYGEINE! After 5 or 10 years of the same old routine sex with your husband, you might find yourself singing a different tune.

  • If it were a couple inches higher, it would be adorable.
    I love bows, and if it were a lower-back tattoo, I would be full of want (for the tattoo).
    However, it’s at the top of her buttock cleft, and not attractive.

    Anyway, hair– goddamnit she looked gorgeous with dark brown hair.
    Roar.

  • I don’t get the crapola tattoo. So you have more money than almost everybody, but you still walk into your local tat shop and stare at flash on the wall and go “oh yeah! I want that cute bow on my ass as a tramp stamp!” If you are inclined to tat it up, do some research and get a piece of custom art that you put some thought into. It’s forever, dude.

    • Exactly! That’s why mine is a custom piece – and I was so pissed to see the same effect used on Scarlett Jo’s sun tattoo (the one on her forearm). I had it first, bitch. Mine is a tattoo of the square from the periodic table for the element Neon, lit up on a neon old-time billboard over a New Mexico sunrise.

  • I am actually impressed. I would never believe Jessica Alba would ever get a tattoo like that. Lets see what happens with her career now. She’s always going on about how she doesnt want to be seen as a sex symbol. Good luck with that now.

  • Looks like a big, gaping butthole just above her actual big, gaping butthole. When did she get this tat? All you need now Jess is a tat of a cock on your butt cheek, then you’ll have the nastiest tramp stamps in Hollywood! …Slut!