Well the show isn’t saved, yet.  But Life On Mars had a 24% jump in ratings this week, only a couple days after I posted my outrage over the best show on television being cancelled.  I’ve also been torturing all my Facebook friends with “Why?  Why?  Why?” and “Life Is Just Meaningless If It Can’t Be On Mars,” type statuses.  Oh, and there was also the Life On Mars Just Got Cancelled And I’m Not Effing Putting Up With It group I started.  I have a really hard time letting go once I bond.  I’m a total bitch to break up with; I don’t detach well.

As far as other shows, all of which I don’t care about, are concerned, American Idol dropped 15% this week and Lie To Me dropped 12%.  Lost was up 9% and, oh, did I mention that Life On Mars was up 24%?

“My stocking was full of condoms this Christmas. She buys me the economy box.”

Zac Efron in April’s issue of Elle, sharing his favorite holiday gift evah…given to him by his, gulp, mom.

He also talked about going to sex shops with Vanessa.  Because it is very important that we all know that Zac Efron is having sex.  With a girl.  Because he’s straight.  Okay?  His mommy buys him condoms-the economy package because he fucks a lot.  And not anonymous anal with hot dudes.  With a girl…did he mention that?  Hetero.

You know, I love my son but there is no way that I will ever be stopping by BJ’s, heh, to grab him the Mega-Save pack of anything that’s ribbed for his her pleasure.  I have limitations.

Being a contestant on Dancing With The Stars is really hazardous to one’s health.  Jewel is officially out.  She posted on all about the leg heartbreak on her blog:

Well, as many of you know I have been having trouble with my knees after rehearsing long hours for Dancing With The Stars. The doctors thought I had tendonitis, but when I wasn’t feeling better after some rest, I decided to get an MRI. When I heard the results I was in utter disbelief. The doctors told me that not one, but both of my legs were fractured!! He said my left one was particularly bad, and that I had to not only stop dancing, but stop walking and use crutches!!! He said I had just over done it with the rehearsals and training over the past few weeks and so my muscles became fatigued and transferred the overload of stress to the bones in my leg – causing the stress fractures! He says that type of injury can happen when athletes step up the amount or intensity of their training.  Typical me- I throw myself 1000% into anything I do- that’s how I went from being homeless to where I am today- but I just had no idea I could over-do dancing!

Shock does not begin to describe it. I am heartbroken to say I will not be competing in this season of Dancing With the Stars. I’m sad I won’t get to go through the rest of the experience competing with my husband, Ty. I don’t really know what to say. I am sad and mad and disappointed and just blown away at all that has happened. I also feel particularly upset for my partner Dmitry. This is his first season on the show and he put so much work and thoughtful effort into training me. I really wanted America to see what a great dancer, choreographer and teacher he is. This wasn’t the way I wanted to go, but my health must come first. And so it is with regret I will not be able to compete this season, but I will be there to cheer my husband on every step of the way- he will just have to dance for the both of us now!

The good news is that my doctors say with rest and care, I will recover completely with no long-term damage. I hope I will be able to come back and compete on the show another season after my injury heals and get the chance to team up with Dmitry once again to show America our cha-cha!

Okay, why am I laughing that Jewel has been walking around with two broken legs?  Ah…there is something seriously wrong with me.

Access Hollywood’s Nancy O’Dell is also out with a meniscus tear that will require surgery.  What the fuck do they have these C-listers doing at rehearsal?  What I find most amazing is that two fairly in shape women have been taken down by DWTS and lardball Steve Wozniak still stands.

This whole Rihanna deal is a train wreck that is happening right in front of us.  Like, we are all watching it continue, seeing all the signs and I fear that someday she’ll just end up dead and everyone will be saying “Wow, so sad.”  Overstating things?  I don’t think so.

Rihanna’s father granted US magazine an interview in which he talks about supporting his daughter even though he can’t get in contact with her:

US: What was your reaction after hearing Chris Brown was charged with two felonies?
Fenty: I don’t know how to react. Chris is a very talented guy. I still think he’s a little immature for Rihanna. Justice can never be served in this situation. He can’t feel the pain she felt. I don’t believe in hitting a woman. I hope everything works out better for them. I don’t feel happy or sad. He’s in the court’s hands. Let justice prevail.

US: Have you seen the new police report that details Brown biting, hitting and threatening to kill Rihanna?
Fenty: I haven’t seen anything. I hear so many things. I don’t know what to believe until I see it myself. Rihanna’s mother is telling me that she hasn’t heard anything from her [Rihanna]. She said the last she heard Rihanna was well.

US: If those reports are true, how upset are you?
RF: I don’t know what to say, honest to god. I’ve been hearing so many stories. I don’t feel any pain anymore. I’ve gone numb. I’ve heard so much. But I can’t get on to her. Her mother can’t get on to her, her brother told me she changed her email. Somebody has a stranglehold on her. I’m lost.

US: I know you’ve been speaking with your daughter over text. Is she no longer reachable?
RF: I’ll text the old numbers she had, and I call them. One girl answered, and she said, “This is not Robyn’s number anymore.” I asked, “Do you work for Robyn? Do you deal with Robyn?” And the girl hung up, so I don’t know what’s going on anymore. I’m lost.

Us: What was her last text to you?
RF: [She] said, “Daddy, I miss you.” And that’s it. And I could not reply. I saw a number and texted back, “I miss you too.” And I didn’t get another reply from her.

US: Obviously, you still support her.
RF: Yes, of course. Anyone in my family, I’m there for them. All of my kids, I’m there for them. Rihanna’s no exception. All of them I would support. I would tell them where they go wrong, I’d chastise them when they do s–t, but to be honest with you they have their own life to live.

US: What would you say to Chris Brown if you saw him today?
RF: I would tell Chris, “Don’t ever try again, don’t even think about it.” I’m hurt and disturbed at that scenario.

I don’t understand these people.  As a parent, I really do not.  What’s all this “Chris is a very talented guy,” and “I don’t feel happy or sad,” and “Somebody has a stranglehold on her,” shit?  Are you kidding me?  Chris is the vicious abuser who had a literal stranglehold on her and needs to be in jail.  I don’t even know Rihanna and I feel so sad for her.  What is wrong with this dude?

Now her email and phone numbers have been changed-beyond disturbing.  This is classic abuser behavior.  She is being isolated so that she feels that the only person she can count on is the guy who tried to rearrange her face.

I cannot fathom how these parents can sit by and watch this happen.  Yes, Rihanna is an adult but Rihanna is sick and needs help.  This is what parents do; they help their children.  Adulthood doesn’t change that.  This girl is still young and hopefully has a long life and career ahead of her.  Someone needs to intervene and help her out of this situation, because I guarantee that, today, she cannot see the light at the end of the tunnel.

I hate watching this unfold because I feel like it is going to end so, so badly.

I’m sorry, but I can’t look at Milla Jovovich without thinking of that scene from The Fifth Element.

Mul. Ti. Pass!

Anyway, here’s Mila and her daughter, Ever, spending some time together in Paris.

The photo agency has this tagged as “Milla Jovovich and her son.” Despite the fact that there is a flower on this child’s hat. And they were there. Never underestimate the stupidity of your local paparazzi.

Ok, everyone gathered for the dumbass arraignment and nothing happened.  It’s been extended to April 6.  You know, more time so that a deal can be cut.  Chris was there and looking contrite.  I’ll update this post when I can get a full transcript because TMZ’s sound sucks.  There was definitely some talk between Chris and his attorney, Mark Geragos.  Stay tuned…

Oh, and to be clear, this isn’t a trial-just an arraignment hearing.  This is where Chris will enter his plea, which I’m sure will be “not guilty.”  Then, a trial date will be set within sixty days of his April 6th arraignment.  Unless, of course, aforementioned deal is cut and this never goes to trial.  Which is what I suspect is actually going to happen.

UPDATE: One thing I forgot to mention is that Chris Brown needs to behave himself between now and the sixth of April but Rihanna does not request a protective order against him.  Therefore, he’s allowed to be with her as long as he doesn’t punch her.

UPDATE: Okay, at the end of the feed, there was a brief conversation between Chris and the attorney that was there to represent Rihanna, Donald Etra.  Etra told Chris that Rihanna wants this over as soon as possible.  Sigh.  Sad.