Because he is going to be highly upset by the number of sighs, groans, and generally “drool-y” noises coming outta me  during the film.

The new Wolverine: Origins trailer is out and the fact that anyone would put Hugh Jackman, Ryan Reynolds and (to lesser extent) Taylor Kitsch in ONE film goes to show that movie execs just wanna make that cash and have no consideration for my cardiovascular health.

A few more pics of my mutant baby-daddy…

Most of what I’ve seen of Brit’s newest tour (fake full-length ink sleeve tees included) have indicated that she is back in the winner’s circle . And what do winners do?

They go to Disney World!!

I’m sure those smug bastards over at Disney wrote her off for good after the head shaving incident, but she has the cojones to go back to the land of her birth add force those oversized mice to take a picture with her.  I bet she has a list, just like Earl, but in reverse, and if you talked ish about her she’s going to pop up at your spot looking fabulicious and force your haggard ass into a photo just to prove her point.

I think I’m supposed to be behaving myself with the nip pics around here.  So here is a totally suitable for work and mainstream advertising picture of Pamela Anderson walking the runway at the Vivienne Westwood show in Paris and realizing that she just had a total Tara Reid red carpet moment.

Uh, after the jump, there are the pictures that you really don’t want to see.  NSFW

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Coolio, remember him?  Other than appearing on celebrity reality television shows, what’s this dude been up to?  Drugs, apparently.

Artis Leon Ivey, or you know-Coolio, was headed to Tulsa, Oklahoma today to play at the Flytrap Music Hall.  Yeah, he still gets singing gigs and the Flytrap Music Hall sounds like one fancy establishment.  As an aside, I just went to their website and they have no pictures of the place and no indication that his $20 a ticket concert for tonight has been cancelled.  I’m ahead of myself.   Unfortunately, while going through security at LAX, he was pulled aside because the screeners found cocaine on his person.  And got arrested for possession of crack cocaine-hence the cancellation.

I never understand why people bring their guns and drugs to the airport.  Have you not done this before?  Do you not know how it works?  These people x-ray your bag and pat you down.  It’s the same thing.  Every time.  I know, I know…I’m expecting rational thinking from a coke head.

Sad, though.

I know Beet was being optimistic, but as expected, Charles Barkley is getting the same treatment reserved for celebrities.

Barkley is set to serve his time for his oral-driven DUI.  He was originally sentenced to ten days, which was cut to five.  Now the brutal week-long sentence has been slashed to three days and begins tomorrow.

Does anyone want to place a wager that there will be a massive prison overcrowding and he’ll have to serve a sentence of shorter duration than the average temper tantrum I witness around my house?

Big, potato-bloat Oprah is having Michelle Obama as the cover girl of the April issue of Oprah magazine.  And, predictably, Oprah is in the picture as well.

I thought for sure suck-up O would have her arms wrapped around the first lady like they are the oldest of friends who just came in from an afternoon of carbs and shopping.  Instead, it just looks like she’s praying for the photoshoot to be over so she can get back to the business of being giving out unsolicited advice and being her general holier-than-thou self.