Whoooooa. I’m not saying that Scientologists are crazy or anything, but looking into Jenna Elfman’s twin pools of death right now I feel a little bit woozy. She looks a wee bit..um, frazzled? Jenna made a name for herself being cute wacky and now she’s just kind of scary wacky.

She attended the 9/11 Rescue Workers Detoxification Project charity event in L.A. which is totally non-religious but was started by Scientology Founder L. Ron Hubbard. Excuse me for being suspicious, but I would not be drinking the punch at this shindig. I applaud their efforts, and it’s for a good cause, but I imagine it would be just like one of those non-religious meetings at church where they ply you with cookies and then try to pressure sell you into coming more.

And maybe I’m late on this, but when did half the cast of “That 70′s Show”, Eva Longoria and Simon Cowell become Scientologists/Scientology sympathisers?

Wow. Time has…changed you.

Norton popped up at the premiere of ‘I Love You, Man’ starring Jason Segel and Paul Rudd. I go back and forth on Ed Norton. Sometimes he’s hot, sometimes he’s deathly pale with floppy hair and bloodshot eyes. He’s a brilliant actor, he just needs to not repeat whatever the hell it is that he has going on right here ever again.

Moving on, I have no idea what posessed Allison Janney to show up dressed as Indiana Jones, but she appears to be quite pleased with herself.

Mischa Barton’s parents are surprisingly normal. For example, they have no friggin idea what it is that Mischa does for a living, which makes them just like the rest of us. 

Mischa said, “My mom and dad are still a bit confused and cautious about what I do.”

“My dad is a stockbroker who studied law and economics and his dad was a politician. But I know him and my mom are still very proud of me.”

Riiiiight. Very proud, I’m sure. I bet when all the other parents are talking about Jimmy’s doctorate or Sue’s thriving law career her parents whip out one of those over-priced headbands and everyone is just blown away by Mischa’s ingenuity.

…even if you throw yourself and ‘Divorce Party’ with a cake that looks like this.

Shanna spilled the beans and said that she and Travis want to get hitched again.

“We would like to renew our vows and have another wedding,” former Miss USA Moakler told Us Magazine this week. “It’s not so much about the wedding but about having a celebration of each other and getting through all the crazy things we’ve been through.” Shanna added.

“When you almost lose a loved one, it makes you appreciate things you took for granted,”

 I’m happy for them because they have kids, and unless your parents spend all day trying to rip each others throats out it’s nice to have both of them around. Moakler and Barker initially divorced in ’06, and then the incident with the cake you see above occurred. Since then Shanna’s had celebutard beef with Paris, and been seen sniffing around Gerard Butler, but who knows? Maybe these two crazy kids really are meant to be together. If not, the end-of-marriage fireworks should be a-maz-ing.

You think they’ll put this go-around on TV?

What else would you call a man willing to risk what could be a fiery case of the herpes and Reverse Wonky-eye-itis* just to be marginally famous?

You can practically see Reinhardt talking himself through this photo session. “Yeah, nice nice. Flex the pecs! FLEX. THE. PECS. God, you’re so hawt right now!” Usually Paris is the one shamelessly giving the camera her ‘O’ face, but Dougie saw a chance and took it!

Looking at these pics, I can’t shake the feeling that Doug’s at an audtion that nobody else knows about.

(* Reverse Wonky-eye-itis is when you try so hard to make eye contact with a wonky-eyed person that your eyes get screwed up. )

Am I honestly supposed to feel sympathy for someone whose talent has recently been overshadowed by their own third “nipple”?

Lily Allen is claiming that she is a victim of the credit crunch. Times are SO hard she was forced to sell her BMW. She is totally keeping the Jamaican beach she purchased while drunk though.

Although her second album, It’s Not Me, It’s You, went to No.1 last month, as did her latest single, The Fear, it seems Lily isn’t rolling in it.

She laughed: “I had to sell my car because I’m so broke. I bought it last year and that was probably my biggest extravagance. Clothes, too. I’m always buying clothes.”

When your emergency financial decision is ‘do I sell my luxury vehicle or my private beach?’ you are not broke, and as someone who was, at times actual-2-dollars-in-my-bank-account broke in college I resent the implication that we’re on the same level. To rub it in a little further she decides to qualify her statement.

“I’m completely skint,” she said. “I can’t even spend on credit cards. I mean, I won’t be broke because I’ll get the royalties from the album and all the radio plays, but that takes about a year.”

If “I get a fat royalty check at the end of the year” is the new broke then sign me up PLEASE. Ugh. I hate celebrities sometimes.