I don’t know if you watch Iron Chef America, but you really don’t need to be a fan to appreciate, or be horrified, by this story.

Iron Chef star, Cat Cora, is pregnant with a boy.  So is her wife.  They are due three months apart and the babies will join the two young boys they already have.  Just let this sink in for a minute.

“Iron Chef’s Cat Cora has a bigger surprise than the unveiling of her secret ingredient on her hit Food Network show; She’s expecting her third–and fourth–sons! “It’s really crazy!” the chef, 41, tells OK! Most unusual, Cat will give birth three months after her partner, Jennifer Cora, 37. “We decided that having them a year apart is harder than having kids as infants together,” Cat says of their planned pregnancies. Their four children have the same sperm donor but Cat says,” [Jennifer] carried my embryo amd [sic] I carried hers. It’s like surrogating, but obviously all of our kids are equal.”

No marriage should ever have to endure simultaneous implanted uteri.  Two women with hormones, stretch marks, two active kids and no guy to blame?  There.  Is.  No.  Justice.

Anyway, congrats to the happy couple who may or may not be legally married (Yay California!).

Brit’s sister, Jamie Lynn, hasn’t just been lactating.  Since last fall, she’s been working on a country album.  Though a record deal hasn’t been landed just yet, she has recorded some tracks in Nashville.

If anyone has the material for a decent country album, it’s any member of the Spears clan.  Young love gone wrong, young love resulting in a teen pregnancy, mental illness, custody stand-offs, a passionate love of cheese grits-this family has what it takes!

Jamie has no singing experience with the exception of her Zoey 101 theme song.  Her album should be a total hit with credentials like that!

I know I bring this up at least once a month, but I don’t think I’ve mentioned yet this month how totally unfair it is that Julianna Margulies’ lawyer husband, Keith Lieberthal, is smart and successful and so hot.

So hot! I want one of those!

Also: Big feet! You know what that means!

At a fundraiser in NYC on Monday night.

“She better get the hell out. If she goes back, she’s a loser, and she doesn’t deserve to have any future success.”

Donald Trump, to Inside Edition, about Rihanna and Chris Brown.

Ya know, this is the first time in my whole life that I’m glad Donald Trump didn’t keep his big fat mouth shut. We’re agreed here, Mr. Trump.

The creators of the (admittedly brilliant) super-fattening food website, This Is Why You’re Fat, have scored themselves an agent and are shopping a book deal.

Maybe it would help if I actually wrote a book.

Seriously, though, the site is genius.

Lindsay Lohan Sr. was on the D.C. set of Salt on Sunday, running around the city with her blond hair and ginormous kneecaps.

Seriously she is so skinny right now. That suit is practically falling off her body. And I thought before that I liked her blond hair but now I’m not sure anymore. Mostly I think she needs to gain 15 pounds and then we can worry about the hair.