Hmmm.

Despite the fact that he’s currently up on charges of some serious domestic violence, Nickelodeon is keeping Chris Brown on as a nominee for their Kids Choice Awards.

Brown is nominated for favorite male singer and favorite song for “Kiss Kiss.” He’ll be competing in the latter category with Rihanna, who police say was allegedly punched, bitten and choked by Brown last month.

An online petition asking Nickelodeon to remove Brown and Rihanna as nominees had 2,166 signatures Tuesday. Nick says Brown was nominated for his work as a performer, and kids will decide who wins.

I know that in this country we are innocent until proven guilty, but, still. This is a kids‘ show. Are young ‘uns really going to be able to process the legal minutiae of this situation, or is Nickelodeon just sending a loud and clear message that domestic violence is forgivable if you sell enough albums?

What do you guys think??

The catalogs for the Michael Jackson estate auction have been posted on the Julien’s website. You can check them all out here.

There are 242 pages of “Amusements, Arcade Games and Disneyana.” And that’s just from two of the eight auctions! Disneyana??? I’m not sure if that’s a reference to Disney junk or the name Ashlee Simpson’s picked out for her next kid.

The auctions will be held April 22-25 in Beverly Hills.

Update: I knew some enterprising journalist would take the time out of his day to look through every single one of these items to find the most fucked up shit. That is why I didn’t do it myself. That, my friends, is the difference between bloggers and journalists: Journalists do the hard work to track down the stories, and then bloggers sit around in pajamas and make crude jokes about the stories and usually wind up making a lot more money in the process. Still wanna fill out that J-school application?

Anyway, the Huffington Post tracked down the truest gem from this auction: a poem Michael wrote himself. And he should have immediately burned it, but instead he had it engraved into a marble slab. Some choice bits of this opus:

Children of the world, we’ll do it
We’ll meet on endless shores
Making sandcastles and floating our boats
While people fight and defend their point of view
Forever putting on masks that are new
We’ll swing the tide of time and do it.

Children of the world, we’ll do it
With song and dance and innocent bliss
And the soft caress of a loving kiss
We’ll do it.

In (tangentially related) other news, the girlfriend I had dinner with tonight mentioned that Chris Brown and Rihanna probably oughtta confiscate all existing copies of “No Air” and “S.O.S” before someone realizes that the two of them have been busy foreshadowing this shit for ages.

Thanks Mark!

First our favorite little whale-lover was screaming at reporters on the red carpet, and now we’re hearing reports that she’s being a bitch on the set of Heroes and trying to get ex-boyfriend Milo Ventimiglia fired from the show.

Ah, workplace love!

“She refuses to be on the set at the same time as him,” a source tells OK! magazine. “She is making it difficult for everyone involved.”

Hayden’s rep denies the accusations, but, given her recent behavior, I’m inclined to believe this stuff! Hayden is totally the next Lindsay Lohan. She just needed a couple years to age. I called it ages ago. Crazy, overbearing mother? Alcoholic, domestic-abusive father? Infinite money, fame and good looks? Check, check, check. This girl’s antics are gonna be supporting this website in the future, mark my words.

Police arrested 194 concert-goers at the Phish reunion concert in Virginia this weekend. They confiscated about $1.2 million in illegal drugs and more than $68,000 in cash from the fans.

Most of the arrests were for drug possession, use and distribution, police said.

Here’s the crazy part: The 200 law enforcement officers who worked the weekend event were paid for by the band!

Getting high at a Phish show just ain’t what it used to be!

Nobody’s better at drumming up business than “adult” companies!

The smartypants at a phone sex company were bright enough to buy 1-866-IDOLS-13, and now the American Idol producers have had to come up with a different phone number for their new 13th contestant. LOL!

Ryan Seacrest dialed the number on his radio show Tuesday morning. Bemused and appalled, the “American Idol” host said it’s as if the show “tried to script some kind of joke.”

Seacrest got producer Megan Michaels on the line, and she explained that Tuesday’s show will unveil a special G-rated number for the 13th performer. The show owns 1-866-IDOLS-01 to 1-866-IDOLS-12.

Said Michaels: “We will not allude to the fact of the 1-3, because we don’t even want to endorse that.”

Too funny! I wonder how many kiddos will end up accidentally talking to a phone sex operator tonight. “Mom … uh … it says I need a credit card number to vote for Danny Gokey. Can I see yours real quick?”

Ha!

Oh goodie goodie!

Tori Amos has released the cover art and the tracklist (seventeen songs — typical Tori!) for her upcoming album, Abnormally Attracted to Sin. I always get soooo excited for a new Tori album!

Plus, she’ll be performing some of her new songs at SXSW on March 19. I’m sure they’ll be hitting the ‘nets soon after, and I can’t wait to hear them!!!

The tracklist for the new album is after the jump.

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