When I posted two days ago about DJ AM cheating death again, you know-the story TMZ posted today as “breaking news”, a few commenters got on this whole “things happen in threes,” deal.  And you were right.

He cheated death once, last September.  The second close call was just a few weeks ago.  And I really consider his ex, Mandy Moore, marrying Ryan Adams yesterday as dodging a serious bullet.

So there you go!  He’s had his three brushes with death and now can go on to live a happy and healthy life.  Rejoice!

Katie Holmes showed up yesterday in Tokyo at a Valkyrie screening with long hair.  Man, she must have a serious protein diet going…her hair grew, like, overnight!

So…love it or hate it?

2008 Playmate Of The Year Jayde Nicole has started a cancer charity, Lengths of Love, where playmates donate their hair in an effort to raise cancer awareness.  What the hell was wrong with Locks of Love?  Anyway, Nicole’s claws were out as she explained why Hef’s twin twits can’t participate in the charity:

“The twins (Hef’s new girlfriends) can’t actually donate their hair, the hair used has to be healthy enough to be retreated and not too over-processed,” Nicole told Tarts. “So we’re doing lots of fundraisers and events as well that everyone (including her PMOY predecessor Sara Jean Underwood, Hef’s former flame Holly Madison and his current number one Crystal Harris) can be involved with. Hef is supporting it too; he’s a huge fan of charities.”

I sat.  I read this.  I had only one thought:  “Wait-Is there any playmate who has healthy, not over-processed hair?”

Star magazine is reporting that the love affair of the century has come to an end.  No, not Ginger Twat and her billionaire-more serious than that.

Bristol Palin and baby daddy Levi Johnston are ovah!  I’m sure Sarah is thrilled that her daughter has split with the sperm donating high school dropout.  This gives her time.  Specifically, this gives her three years to find a respectable young man to hook her daughter up with-you know, before election 2012!

Levi’s sister, Mercede, told Star that Bristol refuses to let Levi visit, in an effort to keep baby Tripp way from the “white trash” that is his father.  Trash Sis also said that former veep wannabe, Sarah, supports her daughter’s actions.  Of course she does!  It’s a dream come true.

I found this picture of Levi’s finger when I was researching this story.  It seemed like such a romantic notion to have the name of the love of your life tattooed on your finger.  Until I realized that he also has his own last name tattooed on his forearm in large block print.  Not only could he not remember to wear a condom, he can’t remember his own surname?  Odd.

Geri Halliwell has called off her three month long engagement to billionaire Fabrizio Politi.  Why don’t these things ever endure?  I mean, if two people who get engaged fourteen days after meeting can’t make it work, what hope is there for the rest of us?

The Daily Mail reports it like this:  “But the couple’s love affair came to an abrupt halt after Geri reportedly woke up last week and realised she ‘wasn’t the marrying type.’”

Let me be clear:  The only way you just wake up one day and suddenly realize you aren’t the marrying type, is when you roll over and enjoy some afterglow with a dude that isn’t your fiance-that is a pretty good indicator.  Of course DM makes it sound like God just swooped down one fine morning and whispered in her ear, “Psst…Geri, marriage isn’t for you.”

So, Ginger can’t keep it in her pants.  She’s got a wayward snatch.  Hey, can we start calling her Ginger Twat?  It could be the 2009 version of Fire Crotch.  You know “twat” is like, my favorite word ever; It’s so versatile.

Now that Halliwell is single, she can concentrate on raising her daughter and generously spreading her legs kindness to nations in need.  She is a UN Goodwill Ambassador after all.

Miley is on the radio interviews once again and explaining to Detroit’s WKQI listeners how she’s not ready to live with her boyfriend yet.  “I get annoyed really easily.  I love him to death . . . but no . . . [Justin] is so smart, but just like, everything has to, like, go where it’s supposed to go and if it doesn’t, I get like really frustrated.”.”

A couple of thoughts here:  She gets annoyed really easily?  How does she listen to the sound of her own voice?  And her reason for not wanting to live with her boyfriend is that he doesn’t put the lid down?  Or is “everything has to, like, go where it’s supposed to go and if it doesn’t, I get like really frustrated,” some sort of anal sex reference?

Here’s a couple reasons why Miley shouldn’t be ready to live with her boyfriend:  1)  She’s sixteen?  2)  She’s a virgin.

Oh, stop laughing.  I feel confident that Miley is completely honoring the Intact Hymen portion of her Disney contract-don’t you?