This isn’t really gossip, but Alexander Schreiber has the cutest, fattest, most pinchable little cheeks in all of celebrity babydom.

So adorable!

Guys with their kids is such a cliche, but it totally works.

NY Daily News is reporting that PETA wants to make tofu flavored with Eau De George Clooney.

Someone sent PETA a towel soaked in the actor’s perspiration – apparently picked up at a Washington D.C. gym – and now the organization has proposed using a new-fangled gastronomic technology to convert the scent into a flavor.

And they’ve dubbed it “CloFu.”

They’re hoping that Clooney’s naturally charismatic aroma will attract new fans for the much maligned tofu, which is often described as being “bland”. PETA even sent Mr. Clooney a letter  with details of their plan in hopes of gaining his support. Clooney responded “as a mammal I’m offended.”

WTF, PETA?! WHAT.THE.FUCK?!

How is making fake meat that tastes like a person better than just eating friggin’ meat? And can we verify the origin of this towel, please?? Lord knows some hairy sweaty man-gnome  is laughing himself to sleep at night thinking about PETA flavoring tofu with his distilled ball sweat because he claimed it was Clooney’s. And even if it WERE Clooney’s, why would anyone want to eat it?!

The official ‘Jai Ho’ Video has been released. I especially like how suit man (A.R. Rahman) just had to make the same soulful singing face while walking nowhere. The song seems to go on waaaaay to long though.

Marley Shelton and her producer husband Beau Flynn (such a debonair name!) are expecting their first child. The baby is due this fall and the gender is still unknown. Yaaaaaaaaay Babies!

Congrats to the happy couple!

Underneath all his swarthy, unwashed pirate swag Russell Brand is an intelligent, intuitive, incorrigible human being and for that I love him.

You see, Russell saw this supposed ‘autobiography’ put out by Miley Cyrus and he’s simply not having it.

 ”Miley Cyrus?” the 33-year-old star said when he was informed about her tome. “She’s only been alive half an hour. What’s she going to say: ‘The womb was warm?’”

“It’s nice in there. There’s all sorts of fluids,” he continued criticizing Miley’s tome. “That’s not a book. I don’t buy it. It’s a very short story. Anything that’s been written by a sperm and an ovum–it’s too short.”

Now, Russell may be feeling extra critical towards other autobiographies because he’s in the process of putting together his own. But his autobiography talks about things like ‘how his father introduced him to prostitutes on a trip to Asia’ and ‘how he once got into a naked, drug-fueled brawl with a stripper’.  THOSE are the kinds of stories you need for a book about your life.

Who wants to read about bullies and sandwiches when you can have stripper fights and Asian hookers?

Jamie Kennedy has been watching the Spadester (Hollywood’s Sneak Attack Stallion) and taking detailed notes. Much like David he’s channeled all his funny harmless man mojo into dating increasingly attractive women.

In the past he’s been linked to Paris Hilton, Mena Suvari, Christa Campbell, Heidi Mueller and now Jennifer Love Hewitt.

Yes, that’s Jennifer Love Just-Broke-Off-My-Engagement Hewitt. Now, knowing what we know about Jen’s dating history, she seems like she usually goes more for personality versus looks. Jamie, being the Spade student that he is, picked up on this and joked his way right into her prominent bosems.

I predict that Jen is just the latest summit in Kennedy’s climb to the top of ‘Unexpected Pairings Mountain’.