There are few shows that I watch with as much loyalty as Bravo’s Real Housewives of New York City. I haven’t seen such a concentrated group of bitches in one place since the cafeteria in high school. Or since the last mom’s group I tried to tolerate being a member of.
If you’ve been watching this season, you know that Luann, excuse me-Countess Luann de Lesseps, has been diligent in plugging her new book, Class With The Countess. This American Indian who grew up in Connecticut is a countess by injection marriage-and she talks about her title on every. Single. Episode. She has even written a book about manners-apparently New England natives who get fucked by counts have more class.
On one episode of RHNYC she had a luncheon for her teen daughter and friends in which she lectured them all on everything from water glasses to proper lap placement of a napkin. She admonished one fifteen-year-old for resting an arm on the table. What is the lesson here? Abuse prescription drugs if you must, but do not ever place your ulna on an eating surface!
Which begs the question: How ill-mannered would it be for Luann’s husband to leave her for an Ethiopian woman? Rude yet true. The Countess and the hubby who never answers her repeated “Where the hell are you?” calls, have split. New York Post reports it like this:
A close pal said, “They decided to separate. She got wind he was seeing somebody and he didn’t answer her when she called. He finally sent her an e-mail saying he was with an Ethiopian woman in Geneva and he was serious with her.”
The revelation came as a shock to the countess, who celebrated her 16th anniversary with her husband on March 16.
“Luann was blindsided. She was just devastated,” the close friend told Page Six. “They have basically lived apart for many years — he lives in Europe and comes and goes as he pleases, but she never thought this would happen.
“It has been very rough for her and the children [Victoria and Noel], but she’s taking the high road and will remain friends with him,” the source added. “She has no intention of making it bitter or becoming angry. She’s just trying to come to terms with [the separation and impending divorce]. She feels this is the ultimate test for her to handle this with dignity and grace.”
Which got me thinking-what happens when you marry in to countess-dom and then break up? Are you de-counted? Un-counted? I have concluded that this makes Luann dis-counted. And I imagine that life on the dis-count rack is far more offensive to Luann than using a salad fork to dine on tiramisu.
I know Beet will beat me, but I must be true to myself. I don’t get all the Lindsay Lohan footwear love. I just do not. It seems like she just has forty pairs of the same black leather boots to match her seventy-eight pairs of black leggings and her six John DeLorean tribute collector’s edition coke spoons.
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