It’s clear that there are rabid Lindsay Lohan fans here at Evil Beet.  They are all about the Daily Lohan, and in today’s case they’re getting a twofer.  So, to all of you, enjoy this Fornarnia Jeans commercial featuring your favorite, uh, actress?

For the rest of us on Team Why Is Lindsay Still Famous?-let’s form a circle, join hands and pray that Linds’ unearned fame fades soon.  Someday.  It must.

There is something really wrong in this world.  No, it’s not just the fact that My Name Is Earl star Jaime Pressly has critical, misplaced and altogether missing vowels in her name.  She has a fucking book that was just released.  I.  Kid.  You.  Not.  So, I hear this news and think she must have some juicy or tragic life story that I don’t know about that would warrant the need for her to be penning her memoirs.  I surfed over to Amazon to read the synopsis:

America knows Jaime Pressly as Joy Turner, the feisty cheatin’ ex-wife of Earl Hickey on the NBC hit show My Name Is Earl. Like her character, the Emmy Award-winning actress is, at heart, a smart, vibrant, small-town Southern girl. In this humorous and honest book, she recalls her journey from Kinston, North Carolina, to Hollywood, California, to motherhood, and the fortitude it took to make her dreams come true, including separating from her troubled past, overcoming her own bad choices, and dealing with success when it finally came her way.

Pressly speaks openly of her extremely colorful family and of her growing understanding of how their lives have been shaped by larger forces, including prejudice, power, privilege, love, loss, and longing. She shares how the lessons she learned from their lives impacted her own journey and helped her succeed where so many others have failed.

Inspiring, heart-wrenching, and laugh-out-loud funny, It’s Not Necessarily Not the Truth offers a slice of American life sure to touch the hearts of readers everywhere.

Am I on Candid Camera right now?  Am I being Punk’d?  Because, based on this summary, Jaime Pressly’s “story” is basically the story of every human being that has ever lived.

This has inspired me to write my own autobiography including chapters such as Mastery of The Perfect Grilled Cheese Sandwich and How My Life Changed Forever Once I Learned How To Wax My Own Eyebrows.  Literary agents may forward their bids through my site.

It just became a fiasco of madness.  [But] I always stay true to my heart and true to everything I did and my intentions, and I am in no way a liar.

I look back on it as very interesting [in terms of] how things have been sort of unraveling for her since.  [But] it is what it is. I can sleep at night knowing I made decisions that I wanted to make. [Still], I’m a supporter. I was then, I guess I am now.

Her own decisions and different things in her life, people can judge her all they want, but she has an extreme presence and when she’s giving it, it’s really good.  I don’t think you can really write her off and I just think it’d be silly for people to think that they could. Everything kind of works in cycles and I think she’s an example of how those things work.

I just guess at the time it was taboo for a guy like me to be associated with a gal like her.

Limp Bizkit’s front man Fred Durst getting more miles to the gallon out of fucking Britney Spears-speaking with MTV News about Britney Spears and their brief tryst that she denied.  Their brief tryst that happened six…years…ago.  Seriously.

I know that Miley and Nick Jonas dated, but really, she has so much more in common with Joe-except that whole purity ruse which Joe actually seems to participate in.

A couple of months ago, Miley was slammed when a picture surfaced of her in which she appeared to be mocking Asians.  Now, this lovely snapshot has hit the internet showing Joe Jonas in a similar situation.  These two Asian-taunting, manufactured by Disney twits are, like, soul mates.

Expect a non-apology to be released by the Jonas camp shortly.

I’m wondering how Beet will feel about this-her lady love Lohan talking smack about Brit.  Lindsay Lohan is the cover girl on the April issue of Nylon magazine and also talks about Sam, Sean Penn and her desire to model.

On Samantha Ronson:
Samantha and I have been living together… and I finally found this great new house in LA – so now we’re closer to each other. It’s literally around the block… I got my license back a week and a half ago. That was a big deal. It’s [restricted], but it just feels so good.

On Having Her Picture Taken:
I love doing photo shoots… I mean, if I could just sign with IMG and do ad campaigns and model more, I’d do that… because that’s fun for me.  That’s not work.

Her one Mean Girls reference:
There’s not much I can do about the fact that I’ve become a kind of tabloid obsession.  I can’t change that.  And yes, the websites, the gossip pages, and all of that stuff have hurt my career – they’re like the Burn Books of Hollywood… but I really don’t feel like I should have to prove myself to anyone because of living out my college years in the public eye.  I’m glad everything happened the way it did.

On Britney Spears:
She’s marketed as an entertainer, which is what she is. Not necessarily as, like, an artist. And I respect that about her, cause she doesn’t want to pretend.

On her future:
I’m talking to [lots of people]. One is Sean Penn – I spoke to him again the other day. We’re trying to get Seth Rogen for this project, but Seth won’t call us back. So call us back, Seth, if you’re reading this!

For the first time ever, Jay Leno interviewed a sitting U.S. President on The Tonight Show. And it’ll probably be the last time, after Obama made his first major PR gaffe as President. Obama said he recently bowled a 129. Leno responded, sarcastically, “Oh, that’s very good, Mr. President.” Obama quipped back with, “It’s like Special Olympics or something,” and then laughed.

At this point, Leno basically freezes. You can tell he realizes that this is an enormous mistake on the part of Obama, and isn’t sure how to handle it. He decides to play along and disregard the comment. If this had been a less beloved President — say, oh, George W. Bush — you better believe Leno would have stopped right there and made a fool of him. But he tried to cover for President Obama as best he could.

Sheesh, even I know better than to make Special Olympics jokes. It’s just one of those things that my brain is hard-wired to stop. Like, I’ll feel one coming out, and my brain is just reflexively like, “No, Beet. No Special Olympics jokes. Those hurt feelings and get us into trouble.” Plus, I find that whenever I want to make a joke about the mentally disabled, I can substitute Lindsay Lohan and the joke still works. It’s a neat trick.

Expect an apology from President Obama’s camp tomorrow.