I cannot believe I’m saying this, but I’m kind of intrigued by the trailer for the new Rumer Willis/Audrina Patridge horror flick, Sorority Row. Not that Audrina’s even a half-decent actress, but it appears that she’s wearing lingerie, playing dead or covered in a hood for most of the movie, so it’s kind of an ideal role for her. I dunno. I’m not usually a horror fan, but this appeals to me. Kind of like Scream did.

Could this be a hit for Audrina and Rumer?

You know Dean Shermet, the back-up-dancer-turned-husband of Leann Rimes who responded to video evidence of her sucking on another man’s fingers by Twittering that he loves his wife?

It turns out that he just might be gay.

I know, I know. I can barely breathe I’m so surprised.

The kids over at a Detroit morning radio show were chatting about Leann and the break-up, when all of a sudden a bunch of Dean’s family and friends from way back when started calling in to talk about his extreme gayness.

Said his cousin: “I mean, there were so many situations that happened when we were teenagers… He’s gay. He’s been gay since he was probably five … The family literally used to take bets on what age he would come out, and then all of the sudden he got married!”

And says one of his former dance students: “He’s definitely gay.”

No wonder Leann was cheating. She probably hasn’t gotten laid in that marriage, well, ever. I assume they’re, like, best friends and have a veeeeery open marriage. Which is totally fine. If I can’t manage to find a husband in the next few years, I’m definitely marrying one of my gay buddies for the lower taxes and a shopping buddy. Plus I feel like I’ll have an easier time finding a boyfriend if I’m married. Men seem to dig that.

Well, at least it’s a horror flick. Who isn’t a little bit scared by Tara Reid?

Tara will star in an upcoming movie called The Fields, and the film’s writer/producer says “We’re hoping to make Tara relevant again.”

Tara will play a mother whose family is terrorized by an unseen presence. Meanwhile, the rest of us will continue to be terrorized by the unseen presence of Tara Reid’s career.

Whatever, it’s good to see her back on her feet and working. It can’t possibly be worse than Lindsay Lohan’s Fornarina ad. I’m still kind of surprised that even Lindsay “Desperate” Lohan took that gig. Where is that ad going to air? At the Special Olympics? (We can make that joke now, right? Because the President did.)

As I predicted (it wasn’t that hard to predict), President Obama has apologized for his joke about the Special Olympics on Leno last night.

Obama’s comments to Jay Leno about his low bowling score – in particular, an off-the-cuff remark that it was “like Special Olympics or something” – had the chief executive calling Special Olympics chairman Tim Shriver from Air Force One on Thursday before the program even aired.

“He expressed his disappointment and apologized,” Shriver told Friday’s edition of ABC’s Good Morning America. “He was very sincere.”

In a statement issued Friday, White House spokesman Bill Burton said, “The President made an offhand remark making fun of his own bowling that was in no way intended to disparage the Special Olympics. He thinks that the Special Olympics are a wonderful program that gives an opportunity to shine to people with disabilities from around the world.”

Shriver also noted that “words hurt and words do matter, and these words that in some respect can be seen as humiliating … do cause pain.” He further said that he hopes the president’s slip of the tongue “a teachable moment for our country.”

Wow, he called the dude before the program even aired. And called it a “teachable moment.” Very impressive, Mr. President.

I was really surprised when Chris Brown and Rihanna got back together after he assaulted her.  I was not surprised by their fake break-up this week.  Now, Star Magazine is reporting that Chris and Rihanna made a sex tape that Brown is in possession of.  Of course.  This would explain why Rihanna had to stay with him post-abuse.  Not because she has no self-esteem.  It was all because she feared the tape, that I will go out on a limb and say doesn’t even exist, being released.

Let me be very clear.  I would personally host a screening of footage of me giving a blow job to Carrot Top, and invite my grandparents, if my only alternative was being beat up by a man.  In conclusion, there is no sex tape.  They aren’t broken up.  Rihanna is working hard to hold onto her endorsement deals.

I find the whole thing disgusting.  And please-before we deal with a barrage of “You can’t judge, you don’t know what Rihanna’s going through,” comments, yes-actually, I do.  I am here to tell you that abuse fucks with your mind.  It can make you question everything you ever thought you knew about yourself.  You can be one of those I Will Never Let A Man Hit Me women, and turn around one day to find that you are that woman-battered.  But guess what?  If you have the capacity to identify right from wrong, you must leave.  Find a way.  There are options even when it seems that there are none.  It’s so hard, feels so overwhelming.  It.  Still.  Must.  Be.  Done.

Thanks to Kevin!

What do you think of Kim Kardashian’s look?  Oh, sure, you might hone right in on the jeans with perfectly placed holes in them but I immediately focused on the macrame drapery tie back she has on her head.