You’ve already heard my rant about how excited this makes me.

NOW, there’s a preview clip of the Family Guy show featuring the cast of Star Trek: The Next Generation. It also got some quick interviews with Seth MacFarlane about the episode. You can check it out here.

Thoughts?

No no, I’m kidding, of course. Remember, she ditched Joel Madden before he started impregnating his floozies. But we can totally see how adorable she’s going to be when she does have kids.

Hilary was filming for a her role in an upcoming episode of Law and Order: SVU to bump the episode’s ratings take some pictures of Hilary playing a mom on the show. Even my cold evil heart warms at this. Hilary seems positively maternal. I’m so excited for when she settles down and pops out babies. It’s gonna be Jen Garner levels of adorableness. And the only price Jen has to pay for being an adorable and relateable and involved mom is that she and her family are hounded everywhere they go at all times. Seriously I run the pics of Jen with Violet and Mini-Violet very very rarely, but trust me when I say the photo agencies have pics of every single minute of Jen’s day. Always. Fun life.

Seriously, though, Hil looks great here. Good for her.

Shawn Johnson has back-flipped her way into somebody’s heart! A man was arrested on Tuesday near the set of Dancing with the Stars, after he jumped the fence and tried to meet Shawn.

Robert O’Ryan, 34, allegedly jumped a fence at CBS Studios in L.A. where the show was filming, but was caught by security. Johnson’s mother, Teri, requested and received a temporary restraining order from the L.A. Superior Court on Wednesday.

Approached by security while roaming the studio grounds, O’Ryan admitted he was attempting to meet Johnson, but after Johnson was contacted and said she didn’t know O’Ryan, he changed his story and said he was there to meet Steve-O, according to court documents. No one in Steve-O’s group knew O’Ryan, either.

O’Ryan allegedly told LAPD that he had “packed all his belongings and permanently left Florida to drive out here to be with [Johnson],” Teri Johnson wrote in the request for a restraining order.

Among the disturbing items allegedly found in the man’s car: A loaded shotgun, a loaded Colt .45 handgun and Johnson memorabilia.

Man, thank goodness Steve-O’s sober these days, right? A wasted Steve-O would have been like, “Uh, yeah, I probably know him, whatever, let him on in.”

Said Shawn’s mother Teri: “This incident has caused us severe emotional distress, we have been on the move ever since and have not been able to rest at all for fear that this disturbed person will attempt to make good on his statements and attempt to harm my daughter and possibly us as well.”

I completely understand their fear. What I don’t understand is why anyone would want to kill Shawn Johnson. I mean, if you’re gonna go after one of those girls, you go after Alicia Sacramone, right? At least Shawn stayed on the damn balance beam.

Singer/songwriter/producer Pharrell was in the Paris airport, begging the McDonald’s folks for a Big Mac and a milkshake, but there was just one problem: They were still only serving breakfast. This is my GIANT PROBLEM with McDonald’s. That’s not true, actually, I have a lot of problems with McDonald’s, but perhaps my biggest gripe with them is that I can’t get a fucking Big Mac before 10 am. WHY DO THEY DO THIS TO US? I once had a horrific experience in college when I ordered a #7 at the drive-thru, and was so excited to eat my cheeseburgers and fries, but when I opened the bag it contained gross hash browns and some icky sausage-egg-biscuit mess. NOT YUMMY. It was pretty traumatic for me. I think I cried. Come on, Mickey D’s, cheeseburgers are an ALWAYS food.

Pharrell did a funny song and dance number to try to convince the girls to give him his food. They obviously didn’t recognize him and they were not amused. But I am. And that’s what matters.

There’s a movement in LA to pass legislation that would make it easier to punish those who leak photos and information about police cases and media outlets that use that photos, whether or not any money exchanged hands. This movement started when the photo of a beaten Rihanna hit the Internet, and media outlets decided to publish the identity of the victim, even though the victim’s identity is typically not published in domestic violence cases.

An organization called STOParazzi is spearheading the cause, and their website explains it further:

Our aim is to enact RIHANNA’S LAW which would make leaking, distributing and publishing private law enforcement crime photos, (such as the one leaked of Rihanna,) illegal whether there was money exchanged or not. The current law, “Mel’s Law” requires that money changes hands in order for the person distributing the photo to be in violation of the law, furthermore the current law has no provisions for the prosecution of those who publish such photos or videos, such as Harvey Levin and TMZ. As it stands, anyone can leak private victim photos and get away with it, as long as no one can prove they received money, which usually is unprovable because tabloids pay cash to third parties. In addition, entities such as TMZ who pay for these photos and publish them are able to do it, and profit from it, with no legal repercussions whatsoever. The publication of Rihanna’s police victim photo was inexcusable and will likely help the alleged attacker’s case. The person who distributed it is in the clear unless the LAPD can find evidence the leaker received money for the photo. Regardless of all that, Harvey Levin and TMZ are not in violation of any law even if it is proven they paid for the photo. All involved need to be prosecuted in cases like this and with the new proposed law, all would be in violation of that law for distributing the photo whether there was exchange of money involved or not.

So, basically, they’re looking to put TMZ out of business. Their whole gig is basically that they tend to get their hands on these leaks from the legal system before anyone else. Without that shit, they’re just another paparazzi website.

Another point of view is that a law like this makes it harder for journalists to do their jobs, which is to dig up the truth behind the story. Obviously it’s not a huge national crisis if Harvey Levin can’t get his hands on a photo of a beaten pop star, but how will something like this impede journalists and media outlets who cover government or health care or politics? Will it make it harder for them to find the truth behind the PR spin?

What do you guys think? Good idea? Bad idea?

Oh man. I wish falling in love was as easy for me as it is for Bruce Willis. Apparently Bruce did not meet his new wife, Emma Heming, through friends, as his PR team originally stated. He was basically casting for girlfriends, using his Halle Berry flick Perfect Stranger as a cover. It’s kind of like Match.com but for really rich and famous people, I guess.

An impeccable source tells Page Six: “During the casting of ‘Perfect Stranger’ [the suspense movie Willis made with Halle Berry two years ago], Bruce was very involved with the casting. In fact, you could say he was extremely involved no matter how minor the role.”

At Willis’ request, calls were placed to modeling agencies to fill the roles of extras and minor speaking parts.

Our casting source said, “He personally went through head shots and when the girls were called in to ‘read,’ he was there in the meeting. It was odd for the star of a movie to do so, but at the time he was single and I guess he needed a date.”

The casting sessions/blind dates went well enough. “He started dating [model] Tamara Feldman, with whom he coincidentally enough had a sex scene,” our insider said.

Then, Heming was selected for a small speaking part. Willis “started dating both Tamara and Emma but obviously, Emma eventually won out,” the source said.

This is how I’m going to date in the future. Evil Beet is going to start using a lot of male models. I’m not sure where or how we’ll use them (suggestions?) but we are DEFINITELY going to be needing a LOT of male models around here. I will be casting them. Then I will be dating them, and marrying the one I like best. That is how we’re going to do my dating life from now on, okay? Okay.