Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Lindsay Lohan’s Newest Movie Not Coming To A Theater Near You

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Since 2007’s flop I Know Who Killed Me, Lindsay Lohan has been in only one movie-Labor Pains.  The plot of this movie is that the main character, Lohan, pretends to be pregnant in order to keep her job.  Oh, the hilarity that won’t will ensue!

MTV Movies Blog is now reporting that Labor Pains isn’t going to get a theatrical release.  It is now slated for a cable television debut in July, 2009 and a DVD release in August, 2009.  How very Jessica Simpson of Linds!

I haven’t given up on Lindsay yet-if Mickey Rourke can make a comeback, Lohan can too.  Lindsay:  peel off your leggings and exfoliate.  Get the spoon out of your nose and the leech out of your bed.  You can rise to mediocrity again!

I have to share something I just realized.  Every day that I write here on Evil Beet, I learn something new.  Today I learned that Lindsay Lohan triggers me to overuse exclamation points!

17 CommentsLeave a comment

  • Aiight. I feel bad b/c I actually kinda wanted to see this movie. I saw a trailer or something for it awhile back and thought it looked fairly decent. Guess I’ll just have to look for it on tv!

  • what exactly can she “come back” to? mickey rourke was once a good actor, therefore, he had the opportunity to “come back” and return to form.

    lindsay was never a good actor – she’s always been crap in that department, and still is. it’s not possible to “return” to form if you’ve never departed.

  • uhhh…the “leech” in her bed has more money than Lindsay will ever dream of having, sorry. Samantha Ronson’s family is wealthier than all Lohans put together…if anything, Lohan is likely sponging off her girlfriend at this point.

  • beet you got your wires crossed today. i thought it was common knowledge that samantha ronson is an heiress of the ultra wealthy ronson family. her mum is a socialite and heiress her dad is an entrepeneur. the chick is a trust fund babe don’t let the hipster uniform fool you. she is not some k-fed trailer park trash, she grew up on the upper west side with the lennons and the gettys and is insanly well connected.

    • Wendie wrote this… not Beet.

      I’ll add that I don’t really agree with Wendie’s comparing Lohan to Rourke. Rourke was actually a talented actor that made some decent movies. Lohan never really was anything more than a coked up party girl (after her Parent Trap days), so I don’t really think “come back” applies to her.

      • yeah rourke definetly made more good movies by the time he crashed and burned. but then he messed up in his mid 30s and whilst la lohan was barely 20 so thats not suprising.and you got to give her more then parent trap…what about mean girls, freaky friday etc. i always thought lindsay was talented way more so than the majority of her contemporaris. but child stars don’t have an easy time as adult actors. i hope she can make some decent films again. but it will probably take some time as everyone is still wrapped up in her past. wish her the best though!

  • I never thought of Samantha as a leech. She was working steadily has a DJ before she ever hooked up from Lindsay.

  • Have to agree with all above; despite Michael Lohan’s constant whinging, it is Lindsay who is bad for Samantha!

  • I bet the movie would get a wide release if Lindsay died of a coke overdose in the near future. That’s just marketing gold!

  • All Lindsay Lohan has to do is pull a Drew Barrymore. All she has to do is slowly but surely build up her rep again by doing smaller movies in supporting roles. Drew’s comeback movie was Poison Ivy, and it’s really all been gravy for her since then. Drew is like the comeback kid. Her and Linds should take a meeting.

  • Whatever happened to Lindsay’s twin, the one that was in the Parent Trap with her? She’s kept a very low profile – Lindsay should try and emulate that.

  • Oh give me a break, Mickey Rourke? He’s crap and always has been.

    Everyone gave Britney a second chance, but for some reason Lindsay is being treated like she isn’t worth “saving”.

    She was, is, and will continue to be a great actress…and it doesn’t hurt that she’s marketable and ridiculously hot!