Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Bitch, Please

jerrybeyonce

So I’ve been listening to old England Dan songs, downing bottles of Two Buck Chuck and cruising around the internet when I came across this bullshit.  And I had to share.

Remember this dress which made Beyonce look like her jelly factory exploded?  Well, ages after the fact, her rep has released a statement because she’s under some impression we care:  “This is not a weight-gain issue.  Beyonce is in the best shape of her life. The exaggerated hips are a design element of a truly couture dress. Beyonce has always loved this dress.”  Yeah, whatever, padded hips-very attractive.

But here’s the “hold on one fucking New York minute,” part:  the rep also claims that the dress had to be taken in four inches in the waist as it was originally made for the 23-inch waisted Jerry Hall.  Now, I may have too much vino on the brain, but according to my pocket calculator, that means Beyonce has a nineteen-inch waist.

Hysterical laughing? Comments?

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  • I bet by “taken in” she really meant “taken out” and by “4 inches” she either meant, a) “14 inches” or b) “4 feet”

  • that HAS to be a misquote. Seriously. There is no way in hell. No one has a 19 inch waist, especially not freaking Beyonce. Even a 23-inch waist is pretty ridiculous.

  • Watch White Christmas
    Vera Ellens waist was reported to be between 18-21″
    She was known to have the smallest waist in Hollywood from the mid 1940s through the 1960s.
    There is no way Beyonce is even close to that

    Watch the video single ladies Beyonce is HUGE

    • That’s exactly what I was thinking! I was like “If Vera had a 18″ waist, Beyonce is more delusional than I had thought!”

      • That is exactly what I thought of–Scarlett O’Hara and 17 inch waist.

        Beyonce has a great figure (though this dress looks terrible on her) but if she had a 19 inch waist she’d be fucking LEGENDARY. We’d be hearing about her waist all the time. Stupid publicist.

  • Nothing amazes me with this official comment… once again her Mother dressed her in a badly fitting dress. Which makes Beyonce’ look like she is packing it in at 150.

    Where as Jerry Hall is 6ft tall and maybe tipped the scales at 115 in this picture. So I could actually buy her waist being 23 inches. Even with her small hips… her waist looks even tinier. Sigh… I wasn’t even this small at birth. haha!

    Where as Beyonce looks like she has a waist size of 32 inches. With 42 inch hips. At 5’3.

    And there is no padding in either dress. I suspect they were both in a lace up girdle so not to rip out the seams of that dress. And to make the hips protrude.

  • the bodice of the dress doesn’t look the same at all, the beading and neckline don’t match

  • four inches taken in…from the hem? that is the only subtraction from that dress that i can believe

  • I agree with most of the above posts that there is absolutely no way she has a 19″ waist. However I like her in the dress, even (or especially) with her big o’ looking hips. I love the big ass look. And I realize I’m sounding a little sarcastic but I’m being serious. I have been all sizes from a 4 to a 16. I’m 5’8″ & currently a 10 & no matter what I do I have a flat ass. So really, I’m jealous.

  • this dress isnt even flattering on the 23 inch waisted woman, why in gods name would you WANT your hips to look like they’re taking over the world?!?!

    • I prefer “Charisma, Uniqueness, Nerve and Talent” which I was introduced to through the amazing RuPauls Drag Race. It is what any good drag queen strives for! haha

  • I’m 16, a dancer, and a size 2. My waist is miniscule. And yet it’s still 25 inches. I call shenanigans!!

    • I know! That’s why I think it’s such bullshit. I know very, very, very teeny people with like 24, 25-inch waists. Beyonce looks like she could have eaten one of them. I don’t think she is fat, but claiming to be THAT small is just asking for it.

  • If I remember correctly didn’t Vivien Leigh of Gone with the Wind have an 18 inch waist? I could have sworn I’d heard that somewhere.

    • Scarlett O’ Hara had a 17 inch waist.

      Vivien Leigh had a slightly less miniscule 21 1/2 inch waist, but then she was overall a small person. I think.

      (GWTW nerd.)

  • Shania Twain had a 19 inch waist before having her son, not sure what it is now, but no way has Beyonce ever had a 19 inch waist. She’s certainly in the 20’s there, but her publicist is just trying to stir up talk on someone who is currently not in the news.

  • Jerry Hall looked amazing in it. Beyonce cut off the sleeves and cut out the class. Nasty.

    • I know! No sleeves makes the dress feel so unbalanced! Ugh. Why would she do that. OOO look at my sexy arms! Really? It has to be 4 inches from the hem. It looks like they lost A LOT of the dark beading at the bottom.

  • I don’t know about the waist size, but i just saw that dress live in concert and photos do NOT do it justice. That dress is fabulous real life – it was absolutely stunning under the lights! It also cast an amazing silhouette of a woman! with hips! who knew curves were sexy? ;)

  • Why would her publicist set her up for so much ridicule anyway – were they fired and this was their payback?

    pause for hysterical laughter…sasha fierce my ass, how about sasha “wants to be scarlet o’hara” instead….

  • Alright, I don’t know about the waist size, but I just saw that dress in real life, and photos do NOT do it justice! It is simply phenomenal under the lights and she looked amazingamazingamazing. The hips don’t look out of proportion and cast an incredibly sexy silhouette!

    • Perhaps she should stand so as to cast a silhouette, then, because the full-on frontal view is horrendous…

  • Hahaha, 2 things…

    1) maybe they meant a 19 inch DIAMETER???

    2) She is not fat, healthy, robust, yes, fat, no.

    I think one of her thighs is like a 19 inch circumference…

  • I’m 5″ tall and I weigh 93 lbs. I have a 21 inch waist. No way in hell is Beyonces waist 19 in. This is just rediculous.

  • Ijust abotu spat out my coffee reading that – something was taken in – andthat would be anyone who believed Beyonce’s publicist!

  • why would beyonce’s people try to slide this past us? there is no way in hell girlfriend has a 19″ waist, even cinched into a corset. i think she has a great figure, but beyonce is not a skinny girl and -to her credit- has never tried to portray herself as one. why suddenly all the lying?!

  • Something’s definitely been “taken in” alright… HER!! …by her PR agent who thought people would swallow this…

    She should demand her money back and put it towards Jenny Craig. Like you said — bitch, please…

  • i dont care what you all think about beyonce being beautiful and having a great body, and no matter how many times i hear about that… she is fat and that’s it, and she always has been.

  • I actually have a 19 inch waist lol but my weight is in the 80’s lol and my hips and 29 inches.

    The only 19 inches on beyonce is maybe the circumfrence of one of her calves.

    .. or her forearm.

    LOL THEY MADE THE DRESS SMALLER FROM JERRY HALL’S SIZE?

    UH the proof is in the picture.
    they’d have to have ADDED AN EXTRA PANEL OF FABRIC to fit beyonces bovine butt into JERRY HALL’S DRESS.

  • that publicist must be seriously confused. looks more like they took four inches off the hem and added that extra fabric to the waist! i MIGHT believe that the dress was taken OUT four inches to become 27″.. but even that seems like a stretch for beyonce as of late.

  • Beyonce’s version looks like those red carpet copy dresses that girls wear at the prom. crap.

  • Jerry Hall, a professional skank, is built like West Texas. Flat, boring and not a challenge to get through.

    Bee-yon-cee is a real woman, with the the plusses and the bads. So, BITCH PUH-LEEZE, make more sense than Prince’s personal crotch trimmer.

    I’m finished here, go get your respect back!

    Yeah-Yah!

    p.s. Your Moms left her wig at my place again … I can’t have that. so square her up.

  • yeah , shes a big one
    I also think she’s thick mentally
    those go together often , so it makes sense
    she’s presented well , but she’s actually bigger than britney’s pears

  • Are we supposed to care? Honestly, it doesn’t even matter… this website IS as hilarious and stupid as my friends told me!!!!!! XD