Today's Evil Beet Gossip

If You’re A Woman Between The Ages Of 18-34, You May Be Happy To Hear This. Beet Qualifies; She’s 27 Today!


Chelsea Handler has inked a deal with Comcast Entertainment Group that will keep her show, Chelsea Lately, on the air until 2012.  I must confess, for 2007 and a portion of 2008, I thought Chelsea’s last name was Lately.

Her show debuted in 2007 and ratings have steadily grown ever since-especially in the female 18-34 demographic.  Sigh.  I guess this means I will begrudgingly concede that she has talent that extends beyond fucking the CEO of Comcast.  Which, incidentally, she does.

I currently have Handler’s book, Are You There Vodka? It’s Me, Chelsea, sitting on my dining room table waiting to be read.  This could be the day I actually open it and start reading in hopes of discovering the appeal.

Sadly, I just realized as I was writing this that I am now in the totally irrelevant demographic of 35-death.  Beet, on the other hand, is a young and nubile twenty-seven years old today.  Network executives still care about her and her viewing habits.  She still matters.  I’m so depressed.

Happy Birthday, sugar beet.

20 CommentsLeave a comment

  • Irrelevevent demographic of 35-death!!!! Ah, Wendie, you make me laugh….and kind of cry, since I am not shy of that category..

  • Happy Birthday Beet!! I have 10 more days in this demographic…then I’m on the downward spiral to death as well Wendie….

  • Happy bdayyy! It’s your bday, it’s your bday! Hahaha. Keep rocking every single day of my life with your amazing sense of humor and writing skills! Love ya! Have a great bday! Tons of good wishes from Venezuela<3 :]

  • Dear Wendie,
    I am 68-death. Be encouraged by this: life just gets more interesting as you move toward the Largest Demographic.

    HFB, Beet. Da wife and I think you’re a hoot. Hugs to you both.

  • My Horizontal Life is much better! It came out in 2002, I believe, and it’s hysterical… if you like reading about random sex acts and midgets.

  • Happy Birthday Beet!!!

    I LOOOOVEE Chelsea!!! She’s funny and makes fun of people, which can be mean, but you got to have a good sense of humor to watch CHELSEA LATELY, GO CHELSEA!!!!

  • Oh man, I’ve loved Chelsea since her ill-fated sketch show ran on Comedy Central and Girls Behaving Badly. Crucify me if you will. Her sarcastic delivery is spot on and always leaves me laughing. Since you already bought the book read it, but I suggest getting My Horizontal Life on audiobook, it’s even funnier listening to her tell the stories. I listened to them while dogwalking (my job) and people were staring at me for days while I cracked up in the middle of the street, like a psycho.

  • “I guess this means I will begrudgingly concede that she has talent that extends beyond fucking the CEO of Comcast. Which, incidentally, she does.”

    Hahaha! Rarely does anyone bring that up… and to be honest I still thought she played for the home team… and was just using him to get what she wanted.

    I am not that big of fan of hers… she tends to think she is funnier than I do. But I normally like all the guest she has at the table, if she will let them finish their sentence’s.

  • Happy Birthday Beet! And Wendie, where does verging on 45 put me in the scale of this-much-closer-to-death?? Ah, gee, and I woke up so chipper this morning!

  • LOVE Chelsea!!! She is a the goddess of E!. I agree that her books are much better on audio (so you can hear the sarcasm in her voice). I love her round table on her show. Happy B-Day Beet!

  • chelsea used to be really cute when she was on ‘girls behaving badly’

    she needs to leave the botox and surgery alone

    she looks WAY over 33…more like 43!

    happy bday sweetie-beety!


    • I don’t think she’s had any surgery… I remember when she had Sharon Osbourne on her show she asked her for the number to her surgeon so she could get stuff done. She looks exactly the same. She has nice legs though!