NY Daily News is reporting that PETA wants to make tofu flavored with Eau De George Clooney.
Someone sent PETA a towel soaked in the actor’s perspiration – apparently picked up at a Washington D.C. gym – and now the organization has proposed using a new-fangled gastronomic technology to convert the scent into a flavor.
And they’ve dubbed it “CloFu.”
They’re hoping that Clooney’s naturally charismatic aroma will attract new fans for the much maligned tofu, which is often described as being “bland”. PETA even sent Mr. Clooney a letter with details of their plan in hopes of gaining his support. Clooney responded “as a mammal I’m offended.”
WTF, PETA?! WHAT.THE.FUCK?!
How is making fake meat that tastes like a person better than just eating friggin’ meat? And can we verify the origin of this towel, please?? Lord knows some hairy sweaty man-gnome is laughing himself to sleep at night thinking about PETA flavoring tofu with his distilled ball sweat because he claimed it was Clooney’s. And even if it WERE Clooney’s, why would anyone want to eat it?!