Playing make-believe author isn’t just for Lauren Conrad anymore!
Guess who else “wrote” a “book”? Why, Miley Cyrus. It’s autobiographical, and I bet you can’t guess what the title is. I mean, I have about 800 potentially awesome titles for the Miley autobiography running around in my head like a bunch of coked-up Jonas Brothers, but she decided to go with the totally dull Miley Cyrus: Miles to Go. Le sigh.
Miley talks about how the other kids were really mean to her before she was famous, and I’m so excited to bring you these little pearls of literary genius plunked down by her ghost-writer:
Three girls strutted up and stood towering over me. My stomach churned. I clutched my grilled-cheese sandwich like it was the hand of my best friend
Finally, I couldn’t take it anymore. I wasn’t chicken. What could they do to me? I was surrounded by people. I stood up, still a foot shorter then they were, and said, ‘What’s your problem? What did I ever do to you?’
And my personal favorite, as she’s talking about beating out Taylor Momsen for the role of Hannah Montana, when she was like 12:
I didn’t dare forget the struggle. There was a reason for it. I brought that girl with me, and she reminds me to be compassionate,” she writes. “To not hold grudges. To be supportive. To be there for others when I know I’m needed.
Ohhhhhhhhh, the struggle!!!! IT IS CRUSHING ME.
There’s also some boring shit about Nick Jonas in there, if you care about that sort of thing.