It is not a happy day in Beetsville. Both Wendie and I are exceptionally ill. Lord only knows what’s going around right now. I have been sleeping pretty much all day, and, when I have dreams, I am sick in my dreams. Seriously it’s just me in various scenarios being sick. I don’t think I’ve ever had that happen before. WTF is up with that??? And I’m so sad to be sick on Leo’s birthday, but actually I think he is very happy this way, because I stay put in bed and he can lick my face alllll day long, which is pretty much all he ever wants on any given day anyway.

Anyway, it is not a happy day for Joanna Pacitti, either, because, after making the Top 36 in American Idol, she has been determined to be ineligible, and has been cut from the competition. Remember Joanna’s the one who’s been dropped from two previous record deals, and dropped from the national production of Annie when she was 12. Hollywood sucks, ya’ll.

But Joanna also reportedly had close ties to the show’s producers, AND forgot her lyrics in every single performance of Hollywood round, so I was really annoyed that she made it through in the first place. I felt like she was given an unfair advantage, and I’m still very sore that Jamar was cut. He was my favorite!!!

Joanna’s been replaced by Felicia Barton, who I’ve never heard of.

Thanks Rob!

You guys, my little puppy turns 1 today!!!

It has been SUCH a joyous year having Leo in my life.

We were going to go for a long walk in the forest today as his birthday present, where there would be lots of exciting things to smell, but Mommy is sick today, so instead we’re going to lay in bed, convinced we have septicemia like that Brazilian model who died, because that is what we think whenever we don’t feel well these days. Leo does not leave my side when I’m in bed, except on occasion when he hears something outside my apartment door and has to go bark at it to scare it away. My eight-pound dog is such a good bodyguard.

Anyway, please wish my adorable baby a happy first year of life. He has brought happiness to SO MANY people this year, and I’m so blessed to have him!

At the Women’s Day Red Dress awards in NYC.

Lucie J. Kim has filed suit in Superior Court against Miley Cyrus, on behalf of every Asian Pacific Islander in Los Angeles County.  This is just the newest development in Slantgate.  Kim is asking for the minimum amount that can be awarded for a civil rights violation-$4,000 for each person.  That totals FOUR BILLION DOLLARS.

Kim isn’t swayed by Miley’s “aw, shucks, I’m just a young’un, ya’ll know I love you and Jesus,” apology and feels that Cyrus is on the same maturity level as Paris Hilton.  In other words, this chick basically called Miley a whore.  A whore who must pay.

I think it’s only fair that I warn you of my current frame of mind; I just spent the morning on the phone fighting with the IRS.

Having said that, I hate Mischa Barton.  Have I mentioned this before?  I guess you could say she is my Mandy Moore.  Like, she was doing okay for a minute, where she wasn’t looking totally horrible.  I knew I’d be karmically punished if I said nice things about her and sure enough, I was.  Hellloooooo IRS.  So, I’m back on track now and willing to repay my debt to the universe.

Here’s Mischa at a P3R showroom in California.  I’m sure it was a scheduled photo shoot but WireImage has it listed as a general sighting.  They are so used to her pretending that she’s ultra cool and casual and unaware of the cameras around her, that they can’t tell the difference.  Remember when she got the DUI and then went to the park with her dog, crying and trying to appear all “I’m so into my pet and I’m a good person and I’m completely unaware that my picture is being taken,”?  Please.

You know what I’m so used to?  Barton doing really stupid things like wearing ivory crochet inset dresses with dark brown tights underneath.

Technically I don’t post on Evil Beet anymore… so I suppose that means I can’t get fired!

However, I’m sure EB would want y’all to see this festive Joaquin Phoenix appearance on Letterman last night. He was on to promote his new movie, Two Lovers. I’d say it went great! Well, except for he’s clearly channeling Andy Kaufman at this point.

For the record I still think it’s all an act. A lovely capt. insano act.

Keep it real! – Lars