Perhaps you heard about the designer who, last week, said that Heidi Klum was “too heavy” to be a runway model.  Klum issued some dignified response.  Well Wolfgang Joop, the dude in question, is at it again.

I don’t know how Heidi crossed this guy, but I wonder if she’s regretting it now.  His newest tirade directed at the supermodel, is an in-depth critique of Klum’s features:

“She is not a top model, but an ad girl. Who in high fashion has this permanent grin? She doesn’t have a nice mouth even when she isn’t grinning.”

And Joop certainly wasn’t holding back: “She has a large frame, but small facial features. The small nose, her eyes are too close together, she has thin lips – it is all too small for her bulky body.  She has that standard look of perfection – down to the perfectly dyed hair.”

Models are a breed all their own and I never feel that a mortal like me should be analyzing them.  By Joop’s own account, he said she has “that standard look of perfection.”  Apparently, that’s a bad thing in modeling.  I dunno.

Having said that, with my bitterness bubbling to the top, I did pick this picture based solely on the fact that this may be the most unflattering pair of pants that have ever existed.  Ever.

Remember that show back in 2005, Rock Star:  INXS?  It was a competition to find a singer to replace the late, INXS lead singer, Michael Hutchence.

The winner, ironically named J.D. Fortune, has now found himself homeless, jobless and living out of his car, which oddly enough is exactly the state he was in before he won the frontman job.

Sigh…where did it all go wrong?  At first, Fortune made it seem like he was completely blindsided.  After touring around the world for two years, his bandmates basically shook his hand at a Hong Kong airport, wished him well and sent him on his way.

Well, there was another, tiny contributing factor.  Fortune is a big cokehead.  Isn’t substance abuse what ended up being the death knell for INXS the first time around?  INXS; It’s not a directive, it’s just a band name.  J.D. claims to be drug-free for two years now, but addicts aren’t know for their truth-telling skills.

It’s such a lesson.  When success comes, you have to be ready for it.  Fortune obviously wasn’t and now he’s right back where he started.  Sad.

Palmonella Anderson walks squats the runway of designer Richie Rich’s show.

I’ve told her a million times, do not swallow the condom.  It does no good for your innards.

I’d like to issue a blanket apology to the west coasters and, really, all readers in other time zones who possibly read Evil Beet whilst enjoying their breakfast.  No one should have to navigate their oatmeal while being subjected to this, but think of all the calories I just saved you.

Octo-Mom, Nadya Suleman, is about to be homeless.  The three bedroom, one bath house in Whittier California is up for foreclosure.  The owner, Angela Suleman or Octo-Gram, hasn’t made any payments on the home since May of 2008 and currently owes $23,224.98 in back payments. Angela filed for bankruptcy last year after selling another home, valued at $615,000 for $369,000.

Angela’s husband, Ed, is appearing on the February 24th episode of Oprah to tell the story from his perspective.

I’m worried about all these babies.  Where are all these people going to go?  I don’t think they even make cardboard boxes large enough to fit such a massive brood.

They need a television series, product endorsement deal or private donor.  Oprah, goddess of everything that walks the planet, needs to write Octo-Pop a check!

You can have so much fun with hypenated Octo names.

Taylor Swift attended the Brit Awards last night in a rather unflattering, silver, spangly sheath.  Shouldn’t the gal with the number one album be able to afford a stylist by now?  Or a full-length mirror?  Contact lenses?  I’ve read the reviews and I’m aware that my opinion is unpopular on this one.  Of course I also hate Oprah and Julia Roberts so it’s safe to say that I don’t think like any other human being.

Okay.  I’m done.  She’s still cute.  Clad in a shapeless Vegas showgirl, flattened disco ball thing, but cute.

Our volleyball league was canceled today, so my teammates and I decided to hit up trivia night at a local pub. The questions were hard. We did not do well.

Perhaps the most difficult was Round 3, where they handed us two pieces of paper with pictures on it and made us figure out who all the people were. Looks can be deceiving! We thought we were right about who a lot of these people are, but we were wrong. In fairness, we also had 5 people crowded around these pieces of paper with crappy bar lighting. We were all holding up our cell phones to try to get more light, but I realize now that I should have just taken these photos right away and looked at it on my camera! This shit is WAY clearer than what I was looking at in the bar.

My teammate and I were arguing over the photo above — I swore it was Kirsten Dunst, he swore it was Mary-Kate Olsen. It turned out to be neither.

I’ve uploaded multiple photos of both pages and I’m gonna let you guys have a go at it.

Leave your guesses in the comments, along with the photo number.

Also, guys, remember that when you initially click on a photo, it’s going to be sized to fit in the website. If you then click on it again, you should get the full-size version. I uploaded really big photos so you guys could see. Trust me, these photos are WAY BETTER than what we had in the bar.