New York City socialite Arden Wohl isn’t a very pretty girl, and most of the time she’s too damn stoned to do anything of any interest or value, but you’d better believe she’s gonna try to make a name for herself using a time-tested method: nipples.

Here’s Arden and her nipples, making a huge drunken ass of themselves, at an Oscar party in NYC.

And it begins!

Now that Nicole Richie has announced that she is pregnant (which Wendie totally called back in January), we can start looking at pictures of her and playing Spot the Baby Bump.

Here’s Nicole and Joel heading to the Vanity Fair Oscar party on Sunday.

DEFINITE baby bump. Cuteness!

I know I am in the minority here, but I’m still waiting for the giant Nicole Richie drug relapse. I certainly wish all the best for her and her family, but I know this girl too well. It’s gonna happen, and it’s gonna be messy. You can pop out all the kids you want, Nicole. It’s not going to fix the fact that you’re an addict. They may not all get printed, because you’re really not that relevant anymore, but you better believe I still hear the stories about your drunken antics and tantrums. I know you haven’t really changed.

Don’t mess with Nicky Hilton!

After being pushed to the ground by a homeless person at a West Hollywood IHOP at 5 a.m. Saturday morning, the heiress made a citizen’s arrest, Los Angeles County Sheriff’s Department spokesman Steve Whitmore confirms to Usmagazine.com.

“One of our deputies was at the IHOP, having a coffee break, and noticed a waitress run outside because there was a commotion,” Whitmore tells Us. Another deputy was then called “because there was a misdemeanor battery that involved Nicky Hilton and a man named Michael Broadhurst,” adds the spokesman.

The 50-year-old homeless person “came up behind Ms. Hilton and pushed her. She’s OK, but she was desirous of prosecution. She said, ‘I am placing you under citizen’s arrest!’”

Whitmore says it was a dual effort by both Hilton and the two deputies to arrest Broadhurst, who will appear in court April 21 …

“It is my understanding that she is OK,” Whitmore tells Us. “A battery is just an unwanted touching.

I have three things to say here:

1) What was Nicky doing at a WeHo IHOP at 5 am?
2) How does one actually make a citizens arrest?
3) Have you guys seen the photoshopped pic of Taylor Hanson sucking a cock? It’s making its way around the Internet, and it HILARIOUS. Also it is way more interesting than this stupid Nicky Hilton story. Check it out here.

Check out this interview E! did with Lindsay on the red carpet at an Oscar party on Sunday. Not only do her eyes look glazed over, but she keeps scratching at her scalp. Now, not that I’ve ever done drugs or anything, but, if I had, I might point out that one’s head gets extremely scratchy when one has ingested, um, certain drugs.

Oh, and she’s also starting a spray tan line.

And this was in my inbox today, from a source at a club Samantha DJ’d at very recently, although Lindsay was conspicuously absent:

Sam’s DJing fee is pretty substantial and it was booked with the “we can’t promise you anything but more than likely LL will be there” comment. When asked why she wasn’t there, a handler explained that Lindsay spends time with her in LA but no longer travels to shows as it causes too much drama / distraction while Sam is working. So, she’s been banned from the road … That being said, Sam was one of the nicest VIP people we’ve had. She looked miserable the entire time but was extremely polite with her servers, always saying please and thank you for her Coronas. She also spun well past when we expected.

Awww, Sam looks miserable WITH Lindsay AND without her!

But if Lindsay’s not traveling to all these events with her, Sam’s fee is going to take a serious hit.

Oh, my sweet, precious Bridget!!!!

How exciting to have you back on my TV set again. Although I will never be watching you new show about beaches, it is reassuring to know that it exists.

Here’s a teaser for Bridget’s new show, Bridget’s Sexiest Beaches, which will be airing on the Travel Channel. It appears to involve cameos by Holly Madison and Sara Jean Underwood, among others.

That took basically zero time at all.

Ryan Seacrest took to the airwaves this morning to premiere Oscar-award winning song “Jai Ho” — sung by the Pussycat Dolls, in English. The remix was composed by A.R. Rahman and produced by popular hip hop producer Polow Da Don. You can check it out here.

For comparison, the original song, from the movie, is here. It’s sung by Indians … in a foreign language.

Ummmm, thoughts? Not just about the song, but about their decision to release an English-language, titty-infused remix so quickly.