Lord, I love Cyndi Lauper, and I love this cause, but homegirl looks like what you’d get if Lisa Marie Presley had a baby with Lindsay Lohan’s coke mirror.

This is seriously tragic.

Cyndi showed up to Defying Inequality: The Broadway Concert in New York looking about 18 sheets to the wind. This woman can barely keep her eyes open. Her publicist never should have let her walk the carpet. Very very sad.

If you’d like to learn more about the concert, or donate to this very important equal rights cause, click here.

“Well, he’s hot. He’s cute, isn’t he? I had a sleep-over two nights ago and he came along. Quite young, for me. What d’you wanna know? How big his cock is? It’s very nice.”

The irrepressible Lily Allen, talking about her burgeoning relationship with dancer Tom Dinsdale, in a new interview.

Lily also opens up about her penchant for strip clubs: “I signed my publishing deal at Stringfellows and had a private dance. One of the naked ones. It was really embarrassing. It’s quite awkward if you’re not attracted to women, and I’m not. I went to Spearmint Rhino the other day actually, for six hours. I’ve had lap dances there. It’s fun. I like having a chat with the strippers.”

I totally feel her on this one. Despite being a decidedly heterosexual woman, I love strip clubs. I have so much fun getting lap dances and getting to know the strippers. This is going to sound weird, but it’s almost like a female bonding experience. I dig it. I’ve always been really comfortable in strip clubs and with strippers. Plus I can never sleep with a man without telling anyone who’ll listen what his cock’s like.

I hate that the more I learn about Lily Allen, the more I realize how similar we are.

A tipster in the publishing industry tells Evil Beet exclusively that a former employee of the show is shopping around a tell-all book. Says our source:

[T]he author is planning a whole expose of their employment. A few things that are going to be revealed are the drugs and alcohol that flow freely through the show, how the show is fixed, contestant plants, brainwashing, verbal and physical abuse, sweatshop like working conditions, threats of blacklisting, etc…….

Apparently the book is going to be full of very damaging allegations and plans on revealing all the behind the scenes workings of the show.

Some potential editors already have the proposal on their desks!!!

Didn’t the producers of the show make him sign an NDA???

I really hope this book gets published! I want to read it NOW!!!

Rachel showed off her engagement ring for the first time on Monday, as she did some grocery shopping in LA.

She got engaged to her Jumper co-star, Hayden Christensen, back in December, but the news just broke last week.

What do we think of the bling???

NOT TOO SHABBY, Miz Griffin.

Word on the street is that the rights to a memoir Kathy Griffin is writing sold at auction last week to an editor at Random House’s Ballantine imprint for more than $2 million.

That is NOT a D-list figure, dear.

I’m actually very curious to read this book. It would be cool to get a sense of what Kathy’s early life was like, and how she wound up being such a hilarious woman. That kind of funny is never the result of a happy, drama-free childhood.

Would you guys buy the Kathy Griffin memoir?

Clearly I have missed all the talk lately about how Mischa Barton’s lost a ton of weight, because I haven’t really noticed it. She’s dropped a few pounds in the past few months, yeah, but it hasn’t been, like, a gigantic Lohan-style drop or anything, and I still think she looks perfectly healthy. Mischa took to her blog to defend herself against the weight-loss rumors:

So lately there’s been a lot of crazy press about my weight and just so you guys know I’m happier and healthier than ever so there is no need to worry about me. Things are really well in Mischa world and I’ve just been watching what I eat.

I still love my pilates and yoga, and have cut back on fatty foods a bit. My time in India and Paris really just helped me lose a little bit of weight but there’s nothing drastic going on!

I appreciate the concern, I just wish the press wouldn’t harbor on it as I think it’s very unhealthy for young girls to read about and pay attention to. To my female fans: Just be happy and secure with yourself and don’t let other people’s perceptions of you dictate the way you live your life.

Just so you guys can check it out, I’ve put a few pics below that were taken of Mischa in the past month. She doesn’t look anorexic to me — she’s just cleaned up her eating a bit since this fall. I think she looks really good, actually.