Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Salma Hayek’s Baby Is Trilingual and Sees Dead People

56490141salmahayek2112009105653am

May I ask a question?  Really a series of questions:  If Rachael Ray hadn’t been sanctioned by Oprah, would anyone know who she is?  What is wrong with Rachael Ray’s voice and why won’t she fix it?  Would anyone be willing to sign a petition to outlaw the use of words such as “Yumm-o” and “Dee-lish”?  Thank you for any insight you can provide.

Salma Hayek taped a segment on The Rachael Ray Show, airing today, in which she talks about her amazing little wondertot.  Apparently little sixteen-month-old Valentina is tri-lingual; she can speak Spanish, French and English.  I have three children and I’d like to say that my kids weren’t, uh….mono-lingual at sixteen months.  But Valentina was made from Gucci sperm so she’s special.

Salma’s little United Nations interpreter-in-training also sees dead people.  Hayek told Rachael, “Last night she saw a ghost. I’m convinced.  Last night she woke up and her eyes were open. And she’s looking at one specific point and she’s going, ‘No no no no, au revoir,’ which means goodbye in French … And she’s looking at someone, but there’s no one there.  I was so scared, and I’m like, ‘Yes, au revoir, whoever you are, get out!’ And then she started saying it in English: ‘Bye bye, bye bye!’ I guess she was trying in different languages to see what nationality this ghost was to go away. It was terrifying!”

It’s time for a dose of honesty:  if a kid doesn’t have the intelligence to not shit themselves, they don’t have the intelligence to try out their smorgasbord of languages on an apparition to determine how to communicate on the most effective level.

37 CommentsLeave a comment

  • I do hate those moms who tell everyone how wonderful and special their child is. That kid will grow up and get a nice harsh dose of reality when they realize they are the same as everyone else. What I hate even more are parents who underestimate their children though, because they just end up as pessimists.

      • Yes, they should, but not just because they are repeatedly and endlessly told so from birth no matter what, but more from learning how to not HAVE to always be the most “special and wonderful” person in the room. Self esteem comes from a well rounded childhood where you are not always the center of attention. Children brought up this way are part of the ‘cannot fail no matter who I step on, and it’s always and forever about me’ problem. I should know, I’m bringing up one myself and am just now starting to see the errors of my ways.

  • As a preschool teacher, I can tell you that a 16-month old can be trilingual. From birth to age 5 is the window of language devolpment. It has been proven that if the child is involved in learning/hearing different languages, they will be able to speak and understand the languages they have been exposed to. Plus, chances are better that they will retain those languages, then say if they learned it in high school. I can’t comment on the ghost, that is kinda weird, but I have spoken in Spanish and English to my class, and all of them can speak with both languages & understand me with both languages.

    • She wasn’t saying that the kid isn’t tri-lingual, but that the kid didn’t see a ghost & even if she had, she doesn’t possess the intellect to try out different languages to see which one the ghost would understand.

      • Of course she could. She’s associated saying good-bye with people leaving. If she saw something (even if she was just dreaming), she was trying to make it go away. Obviously you know nothing about exactly what a child can really do. They don’t just say the “darnedest” things. They actually have functional brains.

    • i can say hello, bonjour, and hola. does that make me tri-lingual? just because a kid knows words in different languages doesn’t make her fluent.

    • i can say hello, bonjour, and hola. does that make me tri-lingual? just because a kid knows words in different languages doesn’t make her tri-fucking-lingual.

    • yeah… and both her parents are at least bi-lingual… french/engllsh, spanish/english. it’s not that odd that the baby would be picking up all languages. the ghost thing…… well, whatever

  • It’s true that children pick up and retain languages – or any information – better than an adult, but tri-lingual at 16 months is taking that a stretch far is it not?
    Woohoo is right though, overestimate your kids and they end up self-righeous arsheholes or end up getting really depressed if they realise theyre nothing special, but underestimate them and they end up unhappy anyways. Gah!

  • No one has addressed Rachael Ray, so I will. She and her smoker-voice gives me the sensation of a cold steel rod being jammed into my left eye.

    And Salma? Of COURSE your child is gifted. Pssh.

    • Seriously! I don’t understand the voice. It’s probably because she is SHOUTING all the time. That’s why I can’t watch her show. She is so damn loud!

      • Cause she’s from the Northeast maybe? I moved away and everytime I go back to visit I can’t stand how people YELL all the time :)

  • May I continue the questions regarding Rachael Ray, or shall I say “R.R.”?.

    What’s with this attachment to using “E.V.O.O.” to abbreviate “extra virgin olive oil”? She explains the abbreviation every. single. time.
    So please, what IS the point??

  • Rachel Ray has a tumor or cist or something in her vocal cords I think. Her voice is annoying, but more annoying is the way she gestures while talking. Drives me up the wall.

  • I was raised in a bilingual city – when I was 16 months old I could speak Catalan and Spanish perfectly, so I do believe the kid is trilingual. After all, she lives in the US, with a French dad and a Mexican mum.

  • I cant stand listening to people holding their own crotch fruit up as an example of what time line other peoples children should be developing.

    Sounds like Salma has never heard of talking in your sleep.
    The kid was dreaming and had her little eyes open. I’ve woken my parents up laughing in my sleep ever since i had the ability to dream and laugh.

  • I want to shove rachel rays fat mouth into a cannon and shot her annoying ass into the fucking east river. Her and that short shit creepy faced husband.

    BOURDAIN RULES!

  • “if a kid doesn’t have the intelligence to not shit themselves, they don’t have the intelligence to try out their smorgasbord of languages on an apparition to determine how to communicate on the most effective level.”

    Awesome line. Just fantastic.

  • lol. that last paragraph was seriously the funniest thing i’ve ever read.

    i’m sure i’ll wake giggling in the middle of the night.

  • LOL Could you imagine this scene in her house?

    ‘No no no no, au revoir,’

    “What is it mija?”

    “Is it a ghost?!”

    “Ay ay ay!!!”

    *shoots off bandidas guns”

    Sorry, this is just my personal image of her… after listen to her interviews and watching that bandidas movie.

  • Guardian angel? She seems blessed and well loved with her mom and dad and that’s wonderful in a cruel cold world.

  • I HATE HATE HATE Rachel Ray. HATE her. I can’t stand her shows, all forty-five fucking billion of them, her shitty cook books, her shitty “hipster” bowls and serving platters they sell everywhere, I hated it when her big goomba face was plastered all over every singled damned Ritz crackers box…I mean, really, I could go on about how much I hate this woman.
    Oh yeah, and has anyone seen the commercials for the new pet food she’s pushing?? “Nutrish”?? ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME???? Is there some kind of Rachel Ray worshipping cult who loves abbreviating words like EVOO and adding the suffix “ish” to everything out there buying this crap?
    AAGH!

  • That’s how your kids come out if you breast-feed them for much longer than they need. They speak to ghosts in three different languagues.

  • i speak fluent Spanish, my husband is Brazilian. we live in Canada.
    our 23 month old son has no problems communicating with us in Spanish, Portuguese and English.

    its not impossible.

  • My god i’m sick and my eyes are burnning still from having inadverdently looked at that hidious baboon obumber on the other page… nasty