Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Jesus Christ, Who Wrote the “If You Seek Amy” Casting Call Specs?

Britney Spears

Someone sent me the specs for the cattle call for Brit’s “If You Seek Amy” video (no union folks, thank you very much), and honestly I get 10-year-olds posting on Evil Beet about the things they want to do to Miley Cyrus’s “vergina” who have a stronger command of the English language than whoever wrote this shit. This is a truly embarrassing crucifixion of the written word. Britney probably wrote it herself.

Ahem:

SEXY BODIED PARTY PEOPLE / No Union Affiliation / Supporting / Male or Female / All Ethnicities / 18-25
sexy bodies…… edgy cool vibe with style
Wardrobe: edgy dark SEXY …prada …meets agent provocateur sexy lingerie ….. guys make it hot tuxudeo pants tight shirts etc…..
Rate: 200+20%

I like how this person knows how to spell “provocateur” but not “tuxedo.” What does that say about this country?

And also:

PAGEANT QUEENS / No Union Affiliation / Supporting / Female / Caucasian / 12-16
all american barbie’s
Wardrobe: gowns with tiara Makeup and hair ladies a must!
Rate: 250+20%

So, ya know, they’re paying white 12-year-olds more than the “all ethnicities” hard-bodied adults.

Plus:

“KEN DOLL” HUSBAND / No Union Affiliation / Featured / Male / Caucasian / 22-29
the perfect ken doll husband
Wardrobe: american…. J CREW… ALL THE WAY
Rate: $1000+20%

That last one is going to be the new headline for all my online dating profiles.

Describe myself in one sentence?

J CREW… ALL THE WAY!!!!1!!1

Anyway, if you want in, call your agent ASAP. They cast tomorrow and shoot on the 10th.

22 CommentsLeave a comment

  • Britney wrote that herself? Cheap and unneccessary shot.

    If you posted the entire thing they sent you, seen on breatheheavy.com, you’d see the video concept sounds brilliant.

  • Well I totally would excpet that i just found out I was pregnant and as I don’t want to tell people yet in REAL LIFE (or facebook) but I have to blurt it out SOMEWHERE or I’ll bust…..I totally cant work with Britney at this time.

    Sorry Brit.

  • I WANT TO BE A QUEEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    LET ME BE THE BEAUTY QUEEN IN THE VIDEO
    FUCK ME FUCK ME FUCK ME! EFF YOU SEE KAMEY!!!!

    Congratulations Heatherlyisaverb! Have you thought about sending your new child to Will Smiths Scientology School? It will knock your theatens off! I mean SOCKS! It willknock our socks off. The School. Will Smiths school.

    OK. Bye.

  • ” guys make it hot tuxudeo pants tight shirts etc…..”

    hahahha

    AND of course, “. J CREW… ALL THE WAY”

    lol. that is spectacular.

  • When you meet the kind of people they cast in these videos you will realize these adverts are perfectly tailored to their target audience.

    What you don’t realize is that it required a team of four experts to translate actual English into this.

  • THIS IS ILLEGAL. discrimination against prospective employees is a blatant violation of the National Labor Relations Act Section 8(3):

    “Sec. 8. [§ 158.] (a) [Unfair labor practices by employer] It shall be an unfair labor practice for an employer— 3) by discrimination in regard to hire or tenure of employment or any term or condition of employment to encourage or discourage membership in any labor organization”

    HORRIBLE BLATANT DISCRIMINATION! THEY AREN’T EVEN TRYING TO HIDE IT! THAT’S ILLEGAL AND IMMORAL. Figures. Disgusting capitalist pigs. Hmm I wonder why they don’t want them to be in unions. So they can get away with… denying health benefits? Injury compensation? Discriminating based on race/sex/religion/whatever other ethnicities Britney’s crazy redneck dad doesn’t like to tolerate? Those employees should file a charge with the NLRB and sue the pants off of Spears and her whole crappy media empire.

    Of course, employers constantly get away with outright violations of labor laws because um… labor laws protect whom? Rich property owners? Oh right, the masses…