What does Anne Hathaway expect from Barack Obama in 2009?

An explanation, dammit, of why he chose Rick Warren to do the invocation at his inauguration.

Anne, I’d like an explanation of how you spent four years of your life dating a man who falsely claimed to be the CFO of the Vatican without catching on.

We don’t always get what we want, my dear.

Um, I’m a little upset with the Hollywood Reporter right now. They have an article today about how Garrett Hedlund landed the lead role in Tron, the $150 million Disney sequel to the 1982 cult classic by the same name. The title of the article is “Little known actor lands lead in “Tron” sequel.”

Ummmmmm…

I am going to ignore the fact that “little-known” needs to be hyphenated there.

Instead, I am going to focus on the fact that Garrett Hedlund is very well known to me.

He is the star of the Lindsay Lohan row-boat blow-job scene in Georgia Rule, only one of the greatest cinematic moments of all time. I mentioned a looooong time ago that he was totally blow-able and that I wanted to see him in more stuff. Although I have to admit I don’t really like the new haircut he’s sporting. I liked him much better with the longer hair in Georgia Rule.

House hottie Olivia Wilde has also been cast in the film.

Stupid YouTube pulled all the embeddable clips of the the Lindsay Lohan row-boat blow-job scene because they BLOW A GIANT GOAT PENIS, but you can watch it here. If anyone knows of an embeddable version of this clip I would be forever indebted. Please?

Word on the street is that the Grossness That Is Mickey Rourke has nabbed the role of the villain in Iron Man 2, alongside Sam Rockwell.

A very tight lid is being kept on the script, but it is known that Rourke would play a tattooed Russian heavy named Ivan who becomes Whiplash, a man with deadly, technologically enhanced coils.

Rockwell would play Justin Hammer, a multibillionaire businessman and a rival of industrialist Anthony Stark, a.k.a. Iron Man, a role being reprised by Robert Downey Jr.

Gwyneth Paltrow is also returning as Tony Stark/Iron Man’s executive assistant, while Don Cheadle is replacing Terrence Howard as the hero’s best buddy. Another part — one for Stark’s assistant Natasha — is still open.

I really don’t care whether or not he’s a good actor. The guy just grosses me out. I hate hearing about him.

Robert Pattinson has officially sold out.

The Twilight megahunk has dropped out of Parts Per Billion, the independent film he was supposed to begin shooting in Los Angeles this month, to ready himself for round two as vampiric heartthrob Edward Cullen.

“Unfortunately, the prep time and production schedule on New Moon haven’t left enough time for Robert to work on Parts Per Billion in the first quarter of this year,” the star’s agent, Nicholas Frenkel, told MTV.

No word yet on who will fill the heartthrob’s shoes on the indie flick, produced by and starring Rosario Dawson.

I wonder what Rosario Dawson thinks about all this!

I bet she’s pissed.

Ellen Degeneres and Portia De Rossi were hard at work threatening the sanctity of marriage on Wednesday night, as Portia stood lovingly beside her wife, Ellen, who’d just won the People’s Choice Award for Best Talk Show Host. Portia beams at the camera and then beams at her wife, because it’s so exciting that they can share and treasure this achievement, because they’re married now, and because they are working hard to set the foundation for a lifelong partnership that can be fulfilling and joyful for themselves and all those who love them.

Yes yes. Now I see how this sort of nonsense goes against everything marriage stands for.

Wait …

No, I still don’t get it.

Where’s Lindsay?

Samantha and her trademark ridiculous boots were snapped wandering around Beverly Hills on Wednesday, following a Tuesday night spent conspicuously separate from Lindsers:

LiLo hit Apple Lounge with her assistant and a girlfriend (but no SamRo) in tow. She arrived around 11:30 and headed to her table, where she sat with club owner Allison Melnick.

“She seemed kind of indifferent, emotionless,” a source tells E! News. “It was definitely apparent her friends were trying to cheer her up. It looked to be a ‘first night back out on the town’ sort of thing.”

Linds and Co. left after only an hour at Apple, while across town Sam grabbed dinner solo at Il Tramezzino café in Beverly Hills.

This is very strange indeed!

Lindsay and Samantha are NEVER apart for this long!

Could the relationship that never technically was be over now?

Will Samantha give us all the dirt now???

PLEASE???

Image via WENN