The deadline to apply for the weekend writer position on Evil Beet is Monday at 5 pm PST. More details are here. Thanks to those of you who have already applied.

Also we’ll be announcing the winners of the Big Rob T-shirt Contest early next week. I meant to get it done today but I got a headache. But I’ve been reading through all your entries and they’re funny as all hell, so thanks for being your typical awesome selves.

Patrick Swayze has checked into the hospital for observation after coming down with pneumonia as a result of chemotherapy. He is hopeful that he will be released soon, and get back to promoting The Beast, his new TV show with A&E.

Meanwhile, I promise to stop texting people to complain about the flu I have today.

Our thoughts are with you, Patrick!!!

Her acceptance speech at the Critics Choice Awards last night was really painful to watch and makes me kind of remember why I used to hate her.

Also: the look on Angelina Jolie’s face is priceless. Angie lost out to Anne for the award. Which kind of explains this picture:

I love this photo so much. Angelina could not look less happy to be in this photograph. Pure gold.

Check out this behind-the-shoot video of Serena Williams for H magazine. She looks freakin’ fantastic!!! Serena spent quite a few years looking awkward and mannish, but she has really blossomed in the past year or two. Her body is just incredible, and she has finally been working with makeup artists who bring out the beauty in her face. Love it, love it, love it.

I just kind of think that House’s Olivia Wilde is the most beautiful person on earth. Every time I see her I’m just like, “Wow. She’s prettier than me by a lot.” That’s kind of how I approach every other woman on the planet. I’m just like, “Is she prettier than me or uglier than me? By what degree? If she’s prettier than me, what could I do to be more pretty like her?” And with Olivia it’s just like “Nothing. There is nothing you can do to be this pretty.”

Here’s Olivia at a fashion event in BevHills. Also there: Debra Messing and Rumer Willis.

Puss ‘N Boots was spotted in LA with a cigarette, no Samantha, and NO BOOTS.

This is officially the longest these two have gone without being photographed together in FOREVER.

Lindsay and boots, I mean.

But also Samantha.

Methinks there’s some truth to these break-up rumors.

I’m sad about Lindsay and Sam, but mostly I WANT MY PUSS BACK IN HER BOOTS. Ditch the stupid heels, Linds.