This is the letter that the Travolta family sent, through their lawyer, to the Ocala Star-Banner on Monday morning:

To The People of Ocala

The enormous amount of love, support and condolence we have received from this community has been most humbling. Comforting words, thoughts and prayers of Ocala’s citizens have made an impossibly painful situation, a little less painful.

The actions of Ocala’s community leaders, its law enforcement professionals, our neighbors at Jumbolair and its surrounding communities have offered us the dignity to grieve the loss of our son and Ella’s brother in peace. For this we will always be grateful.

From the people who drove hours to drop off cards and flowers at our doorstep, to the service providers who made Jett’s ceremony so beautiful, thank you. Every person who we have encountered has offered to do anything in their power to help us, but add that they feel powerless to do so. We want all of you to know that you have already helped us. By sharing our grief, you lessen our burden. For all of the people who have kept Jett in their prayers, know that those prayers have given us inspiration and strength.

What we have experienced in Ocala transcends neighborly civility. We have been treated as family. Although we lost a good part of the joy and radiance of our family, your embracing us as a member of your own has helped us to contend with our loss.

In parting, we want all of you to cherish your loved ones and your friends like there was no tomorrow, to live your lives to the fullest by continuing to help one another, and to be true to yourselves.

Love John, Kelly and Ella

This is such an awful tragedy for the Travoltas, and my prayers are with them through this time.

Doesn’t this happen every time the unemployment rate goes up? A group of guys is like “Let’s sue Hooters over sexism in their hiring practices!”

Yay good idea guys. From TMZ:

These dumbasses — led by some d-bag named Nikolai Grushevski — have filed a class-action suit in Texas alleging they were each “denied a waiter’s position because of … gender.” No s**t?!!?!!

Anyway, the guys — who we’ll call “the ruiners of all things good” — are claiming the Southwest Airlines defense, citing a three-decade-old case where the airline was forced eventually to hire male flight attendants.

At some point I hope Hooters counter-sues over this bullshit. So annoying.

Sorry this took so long, you guys, but I have decided the winners of the Big Rob T-shirt contest from last week. Your answers cracked me the hell up.

Here are the top three choices, who will each be receiving a free T-shirt from Sheila Cameron.

Choice #1, by Lona
If I were the Jonas Brothers’ bodyguard, my T-shirt would say “Aim for me.”

Choice #2, by Tom
If I were Britney Spears’ bodyguard, my T-shirt would say “I’m not guarding her right now because she’s doing a line of coke and nailing some guy.”

Choice #3, by Megan
If I were Britney Spear’s bodyguard, my T-shirt would say, I protect Britney from you, but I don’t protect you from Britney.

Runners-up (no T-shirt, but I lol’d):

By Marquisa:
If I were the Jonas Brothers’ body guard, my t-shirt would say: “TEAM MILEY”

By Ryan:
If I were the Jonas Brothers’ bodyguard, my T-shirt would say:
I’ve cut farts that lasted longer than their careers will…
and the farts sounded better, too!

Thank you all for entering!!!

Lucky Vanessa Hudgens!

She wrapped up one sensational teen franchise, and now it looks like she’ll be jumping right into another.

Sources on the set — specifically “Twilight” actress Ashley Greene — confirmed that Vanessa has auditioned for the role of werewolf Leah Clearwater, Jacob Black’s feisty and heartbroken frienemy in the Twilight sequel, New Moon.

I wonder if she’ll also be jumping into Rob Pattinson’s pants, since he’s her hot new co-star. How long can she possibly stay with Zac Efron? It’s been forever!!!

What do you guys think?

Would you like to see Vanessa in New Moon?

Radio stations across the country are wringing their hands trying to figure out how and if they’re going to play Britney Spears’ awesomely puerile third single, “If You Seek Amy,” which contains the chorus “All of the boys and all of the girls are begging to if you seek Amy,” which, if you honestly haven’t figured it out for yourself yet, spells “F-U-C-K me.”

It’s OK to put in on an album, have fun with it, but we’re publicly owned, you know?” said Patti Marshall, program director at Cincinnati’s Q102, a pop station in a decidedly conservative Midwestern market. “We have a responsibility to the public … you put this … out and act like we’re all fuddy-duddies, like we’re trying to make moral judgments. It’s not about us. It’s about the mom in the minivan with her 8-year-old.”

Like several programmers we talked to, Marshall said she had not yet been told that “Amy” was the next single from Circus. She’s still busy playing the album’s title track, which was recently released as the second single. Asked if she would play “Amy” if it came to her as a single, Marshall said likely wouldn’t. She likened its chorus (which she has not heard) to “a little boy in sixth grade doing arm farts.”

Heh. I say “puerile,” you say “little boy in sixth grade doing arm farts.” My vocabulary trumps yours, Miz Marshall, but you’re certainly more colorful.

Seriously though I’d also like to talk about the mom in the minivan with the 8-year-old. Let’s play out this scene. The song comes on. The kid’s like “What is this song about, Mom?” and the mom’s like “This song is about a search for a girl named Amy.” The kid’s like, “But, Mom, the kids at school say it’s about something bad,” and then the mom’s like, “The kids at school are going to end up barefoot and pregnant.” End of conversation.

I know I don’t have kids, but I just don’t get shit like this. Like, OMG, your kid’s gonna hear curse words. They’re out there. Stop freaking out about how you can shelter your child from words and start thinking about how you can have productive conversations about taking moral action. These firestorms always blow my mind.

What do you guys think?

Here’s video of Brit-Brit running around Calabasas, where she’s thinking of buying a new home.

Congrats to songbird Charlotte Church, who gave birth to a healthy baby boy early Sunday morning. The father is Charlotte’s longtime boyfriend, rugby player Gavin Henson.

The couple already have a 13-month-old daughter named Ruby.

So Charlotte is now 22 and the mother of two small children. This blows my mind. I am sure Charlotte loves being a mother and is fantastic at it, but I still can’t remember to hide my shoes far enough away from my dog so that he doesn’t chew them to pieces. Honestly for the money I’ve lost on shoes that my dog’s destroyed I could probably just buy Charlotte’s baby on the black market.

But congrats to the happy couple and sophomore parents!