Seriously, you guys, how often do we have to do this? A female celebrity gains twenty pounds, stops looking uber-hot, the whole world calls her fat, then the whole world throws a fit about body image, then the fat girl thanks her fans and acts like she loves her body, then she loses thirty pounds and drops her fiance. Because everything was totally fine before. Sigh.

Up now: Jessica Simpson.

In her first performance since the flap over her figure, Jessica Simpson strutted across a Virginia stage in skin-tight leather pants Thursday night and lamented the world’s “completely pointless” focus.

“Thank you for your support,” she told the crowd in Charlottesville at the end of her set. “Stay positive, and pray out loud! I love you guys, good night.”

Simpson, 28, never specifically mentioned the news of her new curves or the vocal support from her sister Ashlee and Kim Kardashian.

But in her performance opening for Rascal Flatts at the University of Virginia’s John Paul Jones Arena, Simpson was no-nonsense and outspoken in her black pants, V-neck T-shirt and hip-length black jacket.

“Please remember, no matter what you go through in life, somebody else might have it harder,” she told the crowd. “So just appreciate.”

Yes, Jessica, somebody else might have it harder … their abs, specifically.

You better BELIEVE Jess is gonna drop that weight and then some over the next couple of months, so I don’t wanna hear any of y’all like, “She looks great, I bet she’s happier than ever and loves her womanly body!” because you know what? She doesn’t.

The House Bunny star and total plastic surgery victim (seriously, does anyone remember what she used to look like?) got engaged to her boyfriend, actor Chris Pratt, late last year, her rep confirms.

Anna filed for divorce from her previous husband, also a no-name actor, in April 2007.

Better luck this time around, Anna! Hopefully you won’t have to change your whole face again!

Lady GaGa looks like she overdid it a bit, as she’s helped out of a London club and onto her tour bus.

That’s one hell of an outfit!

GaGa’s lost some weight since she hit the big time, that’s for sure.

I have a feeling this is someone we’re going to see on Celebrity Rehab in, oh, about a year.

“I’m upset because I feel disrespected by the press and by Mr. Rourke. Just because I’m single doesn’t mean that you can take advantage of me. It’s unfair that the performances might suffer because of all of these distractions … I’m not attracted to him, he’s too old for me. Nothing ever happened and nothing ever will.”

Evan Rachel Wood, once again shooting down rumors that she’s doing the nasty with co-star and all-around gross man Mickey Rourke.

Tara Conner, the rehabbed Mess USA, appeared at a function for the Trump Organization yesterday looking VERY beautiful, professional and sober.

It’s nice to see someone in the spotlight walk the walk for once!

Way to set a good example, Tara. You look FAB!

Chad Lowe, who was divorced from Oscar-winner Hilary Swank in 2007, is having a baby with his new girlfriend, producer Kim Painter. She’s due in early summer.

Babies are the new black!

Last year, Lowe said that his relationship with Kim and his gig on 24 helped him get through “a very dark period” after his split from Hilary.

Do you think Hil’s pissed about this?

When is she gonna get preggers?