Courtenay Semel, the uber-rich, alcoholic, drug-addicted, but-her-faced, hot-tempered, celebrity lesbian love interest du jour, has just burned her (equally crazy) ex-girlfriend’s hair off.

CASEY Johnson – the madcap Band-Aid heiress whose father, Woody Johnson, owns the Jets – is said to be wearing her hair in a short, butch style following a vicious catfight with her ex-girlfriend, Courtenay Semel. “Casey had a fight one night with her current girlfriend,” heavily tattooed Lisa Marie Alvarez, a Los Angeles source, told Page Six. “Casey went to Courtenay’s house, and Courtenay proceeded to beat the crap out of her, and then she lit her hair on fire. Casey had to be hospitalized.” Casey’s mother, Sale Johnson, reportedly flew to LA and consulted with lawyer Robert Shapiro. No one returned calls except Courtenay, whose father Terry Semel ran Yahoo for years. “There was a fight,” Courtenay said. “But this is a major exaggeration. We are speaking. We are friends.” Casey – who isn’t speaking to her father, or her aunt, Libet Johnson – is the mother of an adopted girl from Kazakhstan.

OMG. These girls are such headcases. I swear, all the money in the world does not buy happiness. In fact, it just seems to encourage low self-esteem and crazy. The next time you think to myself, “Man, why couldn’t I have been born an heiress?” just keep these girls in mind.

So sad!

The esteemed Mexico-born actor died today at the age of 88.

He was best known for his role as Mr. Roarke in Fantasy Island and for playing Khan in Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan.

Mr. Montalban received the Screen Actors Guild’s Lifetime Achievement Award in 1994 and an Emmy for a 1978 miniseries.

…are in the new issue of Us Weekly.

Her dress is kinda cool — apparently it was a custom D&G — but, in general, I am WAY more interested in Kendra’s bizarre life with Hef. I’m always more interested in the side stories in these magazines than the cover stories.

You know, I’m not rooting for Hugh Hefner to die anytime soon — I think he’s a good guy — but holy shit the memoirs we’re gonna see after that guy croaks are gonna blow some fucking minds, I’m sure.

Kevin James poses with Essence Francher, 9, winner of the Deputy Mall Cop tryouts in Chicago yesterday.

It was a promotional event for unbelievably dumb movie Paul Blart: Mall Cop, which the studio actually has the gall to promote.

Here’s what I want to know: Were they handing out the Hitler mustaches at the event, or did this kid bring his own?

As absurd as Apple and Bronx Mowgli and Rumer may be as names, at least celebrities haven’t taken to naming their children after evil mass murderers.

Remember 3-year-old Adolf Hitler Campbell?

He’s the little boy whose name was the center of an international firestorm last December after a Greenwich, N.J., supermarket refused to write his name on a birthday cake. The store said it was inappropriate and refused to give an apology after the parents demanded one.

Adolf and his two sisters — one-year-old JoyceLynn Aryan Nation Campbell and 8-month-old Honszlynn Hinler Jeannie Campbell — were removed from their parents’ home Tuesday night by the New Jersey Division of Youth and Family Services, Holland Township police chief David Van Gilson told LehighValleyLive.com.

It is unclear why the children were removed from their parent’s home. Gilson said his department did not receive any reports of abuse or negligence.

I’m interested to hear more details on this … is it legally or morally okay to remove children from a household because they’re being raised with bigoted beliefs? It raises a lot of issues.

What do you guys think?

Bernie Madoff, the evil financier who swindled some very rich and famous people out of $50 billion with a standard Ponzi scheme, arrived for a bail hearing in Manhattan today … wearing a bullet-proof vest.

Can you even imagine the kind of high-profile people who are sending this dude death threats?

Craziness.

To make matters worse, the Manhattan judge today allowed Madoff to stay free on bail under house arrest at his luxury Manhattan home. The judge claims he is not a flight risk or a danger to the community, which are the two requirements to revoke bail. BUT he has been caught trying to give his remaining assets to friends and family, so that they can’t be claimed later by the people whose money he swindled!

People are gonna be PISSED about this.