Very cool!

NASA scientists are expected to announce today that they believe they have found life on Mars!

The scientists suspect alien microbes are alive and kicking just below the soil of the big planet, after large quantities of what is believed to be the organisms’ waste products were detected.

The organisms – called methanogens – are suspected to have been living in water beneath underground ice, where they are disgorging tonnes and tonnes of methane.

On Earth, methane is produced in massive quantities by animals such as cows, sheep and goats.

Giant telescopes from Earth and NASA’s Mars Reconnaissance Orbiter have spotted a haze of the gas surrounding Mars, and according to some scientists this can only point to the presence of life on Mars.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha!

So, in laymen’s terms, we spotted life on Mars because it was farting.

BRILLIANT.

I was wondering where she’d gotten off to!

Puss ‘N’ Boots was spotted on a movie set this week, and paps say she was visited by sis Ali as well as … drum roll please … Samantha Ronson!

I have no idea what she’s filming here, but let’s hope it’s not a fashion campaign!

Update: Tragically, it was a fashion campaign! Apparently it was a shoot for Fornarina, the new line she’s hawking. Thanks Anonymous Tipster!

I can’t quite make sense of this. She’s still doing well on The View, but Whoopi Goldberg has announced she’ll star in a new sci-fi series … on the Internet.

Two decades after first appearing on “Star Trek: The Next Generation,” the Oscar-winning actress is producing and starring in a new sci-fi series called “Stream” that premieres on January 15 on the horror website and video-on-demand network FEARnet.

The series comes just over a year after Goldberg, 53, said she was retiring from acting to concentrate on hosting the daytime chat show “The View,” a gig she took over from Rosie O’Donnell in September 2007.

Goldberg said the idea of performing in a new medium really appealed to her, as did the chance to act in sci-fi and horror — two of her favorite genres.

“I did retire. I hadn’t made a movie in quite a while, and I lost my way with the things I was doing. It became entertainment by rote, and there wasn’t a lot being done that I was interested in doing,” Goldberg told Reuters in a telephone interview.

“But the idea that you can be at work and check out a webisode tickles me because that is the future. … I can reinvent my way of acting so that I challenge myself and see where it takes me for the second half of my life.”

This sounds like some desperate-ass Tara Reid shit that she’s trying to spin, but why would Whoopi need a gig like this?

I have to admit, I absolutely loved Whoopi as Guinan in the Star Trek series, though. Yes, I’m a huge Trekkie dork. But I doubt I’ll be tuning into an Internet horror series. I’d just as soon watch that horror spoof that the cast of Newsies made on-set. (I’m serious.)

Will you watch?

Word on the street is that action hero Jackie Chan is gonna land the role of Mr. Miyagi in the Karate Kid remake that will star Jaden Smith.

The role was originally played by the irreplaceable Pat Morita, who died in 2005.

Personally, I don’t really care who plays Mr. Miyagi. I find Jaden Smith so eternally and hopelessly annoying that I wouldn’t see this movie even if Brad Pitt’s erect penis played Mr. Miyagi.

What do you guys think of this decision?

When their careers keep them apart, Jenny “Wheat-Free” McCarthy and Jim Carrey keep their relationship hot by having Jim do Internet strip teases for Jenny.

Jenny tells OK! magazine:

“I haven’t done any dancing, but I make him do that! It’s nice! With the iChat, we’re always afraid that there’s a third party watching! We’re a little bit careful, but it’s a great way to have that face-to-face connection! I go online and check him out. I tell him his outfit looks cute!”

It’s funny; I didn’t even realize you could do video chat on iChat until a few days ago when a friend of mine send me a video chat request. I was, per usual, sitting on my couch butt-naked, blogging, and I couldn’t deny the request fast enough. I was soooo worried I would accidentally accept it and my naked upper body would show up on her computer screen in all its glory. She texted me next me the next morning like “Are you mad at me???” and I was like, “No, I was naked!!!”

Anyway, seems to work well for Jenny and Jim.

The last time we saw Salma Hayek with her daughter, the adorable and incredibly wealthy Valentina Pinault, she was puffing away on a cigarette not two feet from the little girl. So it’s nice to see her nicotine-free with little V as she catches a flight at LAX on Wednesday. Although, with a billionaire father and a sex-symbol mother, a little bit of early nicotine poisoning will probably be the least of this kid’s problems.

Image via Bauer-Griffin