Kristen Stewart is at Sundance, either signing an autograph or making absolutely sure the dealer gets her order right.

Either way, she’s so badass.

I guess after spending a few months in solitary confinement in the slammer, not a lot of things in the free world bother you. Case in point: Nick Bollea was not phased by his middle-aged mother sucking face with her 19-year-old boyfriend, Charlie Hill, right next to him at Sundance.

Linda’s jailbird son Nick also attended the festival and seemed to have no problem with his mama consistently making out with (not to mention canoodling intimately with) her boyfriend who was actually his high school pal. Let’s just say their behavior would have been better left for an area of privacy rather than for the pedestrians of Park City.

Okay, I’m sorry, but I could not, as a fully grown woman, make out with somebody with that much acne. I mean, it’s not like this kid has a pimple or two. The entire left side of his face is erupting. How can she keep a straight face about this? It feels like the equivalent of me calling a friend and being like, “My boyfriend and I are running a little bit late. I’m teaching him how to tie his shoe today.”

Also spotted at Sundance: Headcase/heiress Courtenay Semel, sucking face at TAO with her girlfriend, headcase/heiress/adoptive fucking parent, Casey Johnson, who seems to have forgiven her for setting her hair on fire a couple weeks ago.

Wow. A study of women in China reveals that women report having more orgasms when the men they are married to are richer.

This result cannot be explained by possible confounds such as women’s age, health, happiness, educational attainment, relationship duration, wealth difference between the partners, difference between the partners in educational attainment, and regional location. It appears consistent with the view that female orgasm has an evolved adaptive function.

Let me reiterate: The female orgasm has an evolved adaptive function.

Meaning our orgasms know it’s go time when the dudes we’re with have money. Suck in that sperm, pop out that baby, lock down that cash for us and our kiddo.

Dudes will just rub one out into a goat if you’ll let ‘em. Women are soooo much more sophisticated.

Thanks Ines!

My goodness, I am quite the trend-setter.

I decided back in November that I was going to go vegan, and now it appears Portia de Rossi and Ellen Degeneres have made the same choice.

Former Ally McBeal star De Rossi reveals she and her wife went meat and dairy-free late last year – and De Generes’ healthy diet choice is already paying off for her.

The actress explains, “We just made that shift in our lives. The benefit of it is weight loss. For her more than me. Her body responded to it very well. It is amazing.

“We are just both very happy. It feels like such a compassionate choice. We are such animal lovers, why stop short of cows and chickens? It didn’t make any sense.”

I would highly recommend going vegan, or at least trying to eat vegan a couple days out of the week. Not only will you probably lose weight, your skin will clear up and you’ll feel a lot better physically and emotionally. It is healthier for animals, for the environment, and for you! If you want a quick, easy read on the advantages of veganism, pick up Skinny Bitch. If you want to hear the scientific facts and studies, and you are prepared for a denser read, pick up The China Study.

Miss USA 1991 wants her vagina to win Miss Congeniality!

It’s being friendly to EVERYONE in her upcoming porn flick, Faithless.

“I enjoy acting, and I really like sex,” says Kelli McCarty, “so this was the perfect opportunity to combine two of my passions. I approached Vivid with the idea of shooting a film with a sexy but interesting storyline, and I was pleasantly surprised with the amount of control I was given throughout the production process. I am very pleased with the final edit of Faithless, and I just may do another adult film.”

I can’t believe they’re ADVERTISING that she was Miss USA in the ads for it.

I betcha Donald Trump’s gonna sue over that shit. This is not how he wants his precious brand used.

Okay, okay, so the actual event happened last summer — what took Scotland Yard so long to investigate?

Kelly Osbourne has been arrested for allegedly slapping a journalist in a London nightclub last summer.

The 24-year-old daughter of Ozzy and Sharon Osbourne was released on bail as inquiries continue. She is scheduled to return to see authorities in March.

The allegations stem from a claim that Osbourne hit gossip columnist Zoe Griffin after Griffin wrote an article mocking Osbourne’s model boyfriend Luke Worrall. In a piece last August in the U.K. newspaper The Mirror, Griffin wrote that she was approached in Punk nightclub by Osbourne, who took issue with a story Griffin had written saying Worrall had to ask how an earthquake was caused.

Griffin quoted her saying, “I have an issue with you. My boyfriend knows what an earthquake is and everyone has been laughing at him and he’s upset.”

As the conversation drew to a close, Griffin wrote, “That’s when I felt a hard slap to my right cheekbone.”

I’m sorry, I’m such a dork, but all I can think while reading this is “Didn’t this guy have to learn about tectonic plates in school?” I was not much of a science kid in school, and, to be honest, the only damn thing I remember from any of my science classes was about how tectonic plate shifts cause earthquakes and volcanoes and mountains. I feel like that’s all they taught us every week. It’s really all I can recall.

That’s not true, I remember one more thing: We had to dissect a grasshopper once, and my friend Rebecca and I, who were lab partners, didn’t really have the heart to cut into our poor grasshopper. This was right after that Heaven’s Gate mass suicide, so instead we covered him in purple construction paper and made little black construction-paper Nikes and taped them to his many feet and told Mr. Anton that we couldn’t dissect him because he had to meet his comet. He was our Heaven’s Gate Grasshopper.

I didn’t excel in my science classes, needless to say. BUT I WAS ALWAYS FUNNY.

What’s the point here? Oh, right, okay. This whole thing is totally dumb because asking what causes an earthquake is not the same as not knowing what an earthquake is. Also everyone should know what causes an earthquake because, as far as I can tell, it’s the only thing they teach in high-school science these days.