Isn’t that what it looks like?

But this is actually a satellite image of Washington DC a little past 11 am today. There were supposedly TWO MILLION PEOPLE on the mall.

All those clumps of people in between the Washington Monument and the Capitol are clustered around Jumbotron screens. The image was taken from 423 miles in space.

Craziness!

This is SUCH a different mood from when Dubya was inaugurated. What a nice change!

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“Four years goes by so fast, so absorb it all, enjoy it all!”

Jenna and Barbara Bush advise Sasha and Malia Obama in an open letter published in the Wall Street Journal, while simultaneously implying that their father will be a one-term President.

Nah, this was shitty wording on their part, but, in general, it is a very sweet and endearing letter. I am so excited to have Sasha and Malia in the White House!!!

Well, well, this is sure to get some tongues wagging.

Kelly Rutherford — the Gossip Girl star who is currently going through the Messiest Divorce of the Century — has stated in new court papers that her two-year-old son still breast feeds, and that “we co-sleep.” She says the boy has never spent an overnight with her father. Kelly is currently petitioning the court to let her bring the boy to New York City with her so she can return to work, but her estranged husband doesn’t want this. A hearing is expected tomorrow.

I have no kids, and thus I try to avoid passing judgment on stuff like this. Lord knows my dog and I “co-sleep.” But is it a good idea for a mother to be sharing a bed with a healthy two-year-old boy? Mothers, weigh in!

All the crack-cocaine in the world can’t change the fact that Amy Winehouse is phenomenally talented. Here’s some amateur video of her — still on vacay in St. Lucia — singing “Puppy Love” to the new dude she’s sleeping with, a tennis instructor at the St. Lucia hotel where she was staying before she moved to a private villa.

Word on the street is that Amy has become quite the Sugar Mama in St. Lucia — spending thousands of dollars nightly buying food and drinks for a ton of hangers-on, and getting ridiculously wasted herself.

Poor girl. This incredible talent and success has been the worst thing to ever happen to her. It has allowed her to enable this addiction for far longer than the average crackhead. I really pray she can turn it around before she’s dead.

Someone in Britney Spears’ camp (specifically her assistant, Brett), didn’t get the memo about how we inaugurated the most-hyped President in U.S. history today. While the rest of the Twitter Nation was Obama-ing endlessly, Britney Spears’ sole tweet today was about getting, like, her Mrs. Timberlake dildo out of the Public Storage.

Oh, and word on the street is that Britney will be “writing” an “autobiography” after her World Tour. I hope they get a better ghostwriter than the folks who manage her Twitter. Hey, Britney! I’m available!!! I would write you a KILLER “autobiography.” Best. Seller.

And that includes Nick Jonas and Miley Cyrus, dammit!

The former lovers shared an awwwwwwkward hug at the Kids Inaugural event in DC last night.

The funniest part about this? The girl making the video screaming “Awkward! Awkward! Oh my God! Nick and Miley just hugged!” at the top of her lungs.

There’s a lot of things you can change about America, but you’ll never take away our right to behave as though we’re currently attending middle school with everyone famous.