This little hottie didn’t wear a whole heck of a lot in her first movie role, back in 1990.

She’s still gorgeous — but not that gorgeous.

Who is this itty bitty mer-creature?

Jump in for the answer.

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On the left: Kristen Stewart.

On the right: Her handsome father, who was none too happy to see the paps lined up as he and his daughter returned to LAX from Sundance.

This dude probably sells her the weed she smokes.

Is everyone else super jealous of his really cool sunglasses?

Aw, this is kind of tragic to me.

I wanted Rachel McAdams and Ryan Gosling to live happily ever after until she died slowly in a nursing home with no recollection of who he even was.

But it turns out she’s forgetting about him way, way sooner — she was spotted getting all smoochy-smoochy with her new boy, Josh Lucas, at Tuesday night’s Moet-sponsored Purple Ball in D.C. “They were so lovey-dovey,” says our spy, “nibbling on each other’s necks, gazing into each other’s eyes and doing a lot of flirty touching.”

Awww, Kelly. The rest of her family is sober, but Kelly keeps relapsing. The 24-year-old is back in rehab.

“Yeah, Kelly’s in rehab,” the matriarch of the Osbourne clan confirmed to RadarOnline.com.

“What else can we say? She knew that it was the right thing to do at this point and we’re proud that she did it. The family is all standing behind her. Kelly knew that she needed help and she’s getting it.”

Sharon didn’t want to reveal the location of the rehab facility where Kelly will be for at at least the next 30 days, except to say that it was outside the L.A. area.

Nor did she want to discuss what she’s getting help for.

“Kelly will tell you herself when she gets out,” Sharon promised. “We just pray that everything’s going to be okay.”

I have to give Kelly a lot of credit for working at this, and continuing to try to get sober. Addiction is such a hard thing to beat, and hopefully Kelly can get a handle on it much earlier than her dad did.

Keep at it, Kel! You’re in my prayers!

He’s no hero!

Hayden Panettiere’s father has received two years of informal probation after pleading no contest to hitting his wife.

Records show Alan Panettiere entered the plea on Tuesday in Beverly Hills. He was arrested in August on suspicion of hitting his wife, who is also the “Heroes” star’s mother. He was later charged with misdemeanor spousal battery.

A judge ordered Panettiere to attend a yearlong domestic violence treatment program, pay a $400 fine and serve two years of summary probation, which does not require supervision by an officer.

This seems like a WAY WEAK punishment for hitting your wife!

What the hell kind of probation doesn’t require supervision by an officer?

I don’t know why, but this whole thing reminds me of that SNL sketch with Norm MacDonald where’s he’s always winning that Christian game show, because they just give out the answer and Norm’s like, “Yup, I knew that!” while eating a cheeseburger and smoking a cigarette. And they just trust him, and the whole thing is so absurd.

Big points to anyone who can track that shit down on YouTube. That sketch was insanely funny.

Okay, Jess. I find you marginally less annoying today. And, it turns out you do smile — when you’re calling Bill O’Reilly an “a-hole” on camera. Rock on, chica.