Yeah, no. Not really. But he wants you to think that he is.  Perception is reality, people! According to Star Tom’s PR people have put together a public appearance DO list to help boost his flaccid persona.

The Valkyrie actor’s overworked publicity team has put together a multipoint plan to bring him back to screen-idol status. Some of the dos and don’ts: You won’t hear Tom lecturing any talk show hosts (think: Matt Lauer!) about Scientology from now on. Also, to be more connected to the audience, he will stop wearing sunglasses on the red carpet, an insider tells Star. His PR team has also nixed showing up at premieres in fancy cars. “They don’t want him to seem arrogant during the recession!” are next to go.

But the flacks’ No. 1 priority? Winning back Tom’s female fans! Research showed that women turned against him after he criticized Brooke Shields‘ use of postpartum depression meds. So now Tom is making a concerted effort to appear on women-friendly programs like The View. “It’s all very calculated,” the insider says. are next to go.

Tom’s wife, Katie Holmes, is benefiting from the new rules, too! When they step out together, he has to be less hands-on. “Tom needs to quit grabbing her arm and pulling her around. The idea is to make him the kinder, gentler Tom, not a controlling husband with a Stepford wife.” are next to go.

 

As far as I’m concerned – if a team of people have to give you a list of things to stop doing so you don’t appear to be an arrogant asshole then you, my kind sir, are an arrogant asshole. There really are no two ways around it. I’ve never had even the tiniest most remote sexual feeling towards Tom Cruise. His mega denture smile, floppy hair, and shoe lifts do absolutely nothing for me. The fact that he’s practically miniature is just the icing on the cake. But I know that my taste is not everyone’s taste. So is this media makeover going to be enough to put you back in Tom’s corner? Can he win back your affections with his supposed charm?

Molly and her daughter Matilda.

I had totally forgotten about Molly Ringwald. It didn’t help that the height of her career roughly coincided with my birth so I wasn’t exactly in the position to keep tabs on her.

These days Molly plays mother to a pregnant teen on ABC Family’s “Secret Life of the American Teenager”. Being around all that pubescent placenta musta got her in the mood because now she’s having twins!

Molly Ringwald, who plays the anxious mother of a pregnant teen on The Secret Life of the American Teenager, is expecting twins of her own, the actress tells PEOPLE exclusively.

It will be the second daughter and first son for Ringwald, 40, and husband Panio Gianopoulos, 33. They have a 5-year-old daughter Mathilda Ereni. The babies are due in August.

How sullen does her first kid look in this picture? Did they tell her she was going to have to share her toys with new tiny strangers right before they picked her up for the cameras? She looks like she’s plotting somebody’s destruction. If I were Molly I’d keep that kid at least three feet in front of me at all times and confiscate all her baby scissors.

Sidenote: Ringwald is OBVIOUSLY a cougar seeing as her husband is seven years her junior. I think Lohan will be pleased to know that the firecrotch allure continues well into middle age. You know…for if (i.e when) she goes back to dudes.

Tom Hanks went and PO’d the Mormons. At the premiere for “Big Love” last week Tom told Fox News exactly how he felt about the passing of Prop-8 in California.

“The truth is this takes place in Utah, the truth is these people are some bizarre offshoot of the Mormon Church, and the truth is a lot of Mormons gave a lot of money to the church to make Prop-8 happen,” he told Tarts. “There are a lot of people who feel that is un-American, and I am one of them. I do not like to see any discrimination codified on any piece of paper, any of the 50 states in America, but here’s what happens now. A little bit of light can be shed, and people can see who’s responsible, and that can motivate the next go around of our self correcting Constitution, and hopefully we can move forward instead of backwards. So let’s have faith in not only the American, but Californian, constitutional process.”

After some in the Mormon Community got a tad indignant over the comments, Tom issued the standard “semi-retraction” and backpedaled a bit.

“Last week, I labeled members of the Mormon church who supported California’s Proposition 8 as ‘un-American,’” the actor said in a statement through his publicist. “I believe Proposition 8 is counter to the promise of our Constitution; it is codified discrimination.”

“But everyone has a right to vote their conscience; nothing could be more American,” the statement continues. “To say members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints who contributed to Proposition 8 are ‘un-American’ creates more division when the time calls for respectful disagreement. No one should use ‘un- American’ lightly or in haste. I did. I should not have.”

Did everyone know that Tom Hanks was a Producer for “Big Love” on HBO? Do you think it was necessary for him to clarify his original statement? I don’t know what rules Mormans have about TV and more importantly, HBO, but I wouldn’t think that they’re the people watching this. What say you?

She does have two braincells to rub together!

For the last few days there have been “reports” circulating that Nicole was considering a return to reality television. The premise of this new show would revolve around her being a mother to baby Harlow. However, her rep told OK Magazine that all such rumors were completely false.

Even though Nicole Ritchie shot to fame as Paris Hilton’s sidekick on several seasons of the E! reality hit The Simple Life, it doesn’t look like she’ll be giving reality TV another try anytime soon — in spite of what the tabloids say.

This week, the tabs reported that Nicole, who has settled down from her days of partying with Paris and is now the proud mom to one-year-old daughter Harlow with boyfriend Joel Madden, was set to step in front of the cameras once more.

But a rep for the 27-year-old tells OK! that couldn’t be further from the truth.

According to the rep, reports that Nicole is shopping around a reality show are “unsubstantiated. This is false reporting.”

I’m glad to hear that Nicole has decided to keep her seemingly normalized life and her adorable baby (I won’t lie, when I first saw it I was like “meh” but now she’s pretty cute) out of our living rooms. She seems to have cleaned up really well since the pregnancy, and reality tv pretty much relies on you completely embarassing yourself for it to make money.

Maybe I’m slow but um.. when did this:

and this:

bump uglies? Seriously?

Everyone knows that Jennifer and her fiance, Ross McCall called it off a few weeks ago. And since then rumors have been running rampant as to why. Well, lucky for us, Rich Cronin has the answer – she’s not just a needy psychopath – according to him she is also a cold hearted slut.

Rich went on the Howard Stern Show and alleged that Jennifer asked him to spend the night after their first date…despite the fact that she lived with her Mom at the time.

Rich, being the gentleman that he is (publically spilling his guts about an ex-gf going through a hard time)  says he refused, adding “I was trying to play it cool. She lived with her mother. I was freaking out so bad.”

Now we know two things: Jennifer had a bit of a wild streak and Rich can’t close the deal. How does this make her a slut?

“She was in New York doing a movie, and I get a phone call from someone at my record company. They go, ‘Rich, get Us Weekly. It just came out. [I'm thinking] maybe there is something cool about me. No, it was a fucking thing about Jennifer Love Hewitt in New York City… with seven guys. I was on the bed having a panic attack, so I called her up and was like, ‘Do you have something to say to me?’ I was the girl in this relationship. And she goes, ‘Listen, don’t you fucking call me up like this when I am at work. If you believe that bullshit, shame on you.’ She hung up.”

Rich went on to say that she broke up with him via phone three days later.

“She goes, ‘I am out of this relationship. Goodbye, I have to go do The Tonight Show’ and hung up the phone. And that was it,”

So basically this guy got owned by Jennifer Love Hewitt. This gives me a newfound respect for her, and kind of affirms the idea that any and everyone that was part of a boy band is kinda a pussy.

 As Beet explained yesterday – I am the new weekend editor. First and foremost, I’d like to thank everyone who had the decency to apply all the rules they learned in kindergarten to their comments on her welcome post. Most of you were very nice, although some of you may perhaps need therapy, and I mean that in the kindest, gentlest way possible. Really.

I am not a “blogger”  per se. I actually have little to no blogging experience. I submitted an application with samples etc and I was thrilled to have been chosen. Evil Beet is a blog that I visit regularly but I never dreamed that I’d be working alongside Beet and Wendie ( who are, as you already know, thoroughly awesome). So if you guys have any questions or comments I’m sure you’d never in a gazillion years hesitate to let me know. I’m not even going to ask that you bear with me while I learn the process because I’m from Jersey and uh…that’s just not how we do shit.

Bye!