Benji Madden made it his mission to look like as hardcore a douchebag as he possibly could at the Nylon Mexico magazine launch in Mexico City this weekend.

Seriously?

This is what you’re getting invited to these days, Benji? Boutique magazine parties south of the border?

It’s all good, though — it was clearly an A-list event, as my favorite jailbait meth-head, Cory Kennedy, was there to snuggle up with him. Honestly, Cory’s losing a little of her charm for me. She used to be my Favorite. Z-Lister. Evah. But she’s technically eighteen now, and sometimes she looks a little bit sober, and it’s just not the same as the half-dead sixteen-year-old bag of bones who used to run around Brooklyn with her shirt off and her eye makeup smeared entirely across her gray, lifeless face. Ah, youth is wasted on the young.

You guys think I’m kidding, but I am not.

This is probably the least insane I have seen Amy Winehouse look in years.

It’s one of the latest pictures of Amy coming from her extended vacation in St. Lucia (you can tell because she’s wearing the tourist trap T-shirt), where she’s supposedly falling in love with a local tennis instructor.

Whatever he’s doing in or out of the bedroom, it’s working. She still doesn’t look like a completely healthy human being, and she could stand to gain about 30 pounds, but her face has definitely lost its “I’m a crazy crackhead” vibe. Her skin is starting to lose the gray, and her eyes look alive again. Oh, man, I hope this is a turning point for Amy, because she didn’t have much further downhill to go.

Mariana Bridi da Costa, the Brazilian model who had to have her hands and feet amputated due to septicemia caused by a urinary infection passed away on Saturday.

“God is comforting our hearts because he wanted her to be with him now,” her father Agnaldo Costa told reporters outside the hospital where his daughter died. “I can’t accept that my daughter left us so soon.”

What an awful, awful end to this story.

This poor family. I hope they find the comfort they need right now.

Some teenagers toilet-papered swindling financier Bernie Madoff’s Palm Beach house last night.

Strips of white toilet paper hung from trees in front of his Palm Beach estate after two teens anonymously called The Palm Beach Post and took responsibility for the prank, the newspaper reported.

The teens, who did not identify themselves during the call, said they were retaliating after losing their trust funds to the accused swindler.

Madoff is currently under house arrest in his Park Avenue penthouse awaiting trial.

People are taking revenge on this guy however they can!

I wonder if he’ll survive to see a trial …

Gasp!

What is my mother going to do?!

I just pray that Big Bang Theory will continue to put on new episodes, because Ugly Betty is being temporarily shelved by ABC, and I’m really not entirely sure how my mom is going to get through her life without her favorite show. My mom losing Ugly Betty is kind of like taking my Ambien away from me. I just don’t know how I’d function.

(Side note: I got a text from a girlfriend today: “Ambien update: My house phone and my glasses are missing.” I was like, “I know! I lost my glasses to an Ambien attack, too. I never found them!” She was like, “What do I do?” and I was like, “Blame the dog.” I told her that the next dog I get, I’m just going to name Ambien, so that there’s less lying involved in my day. Like, “Beet, why is there a sandwich and a Diet Coke wrapped in a sweater vest under the couch?” “Um … Ambien did it.”)

What was my point?

Oh, right, they’re putting America Ferrera’s show on hold so they can show more of that Christina Applegate crap. Here’s the low-down:

In a surprising move, ABC just announced that its former comedic golden child, Ugly Betty, will be shelved on March 26 in order to bring back Christina Applegate’s Samantha Who? and launch a new comedy called In the Motherhood, starring Megan Mullally and Cheryl Hines, in the Thursday 8 p.m. slot.

ABC President Steve McPherson’s nostalgic favorite (and old stomping ground) Scrubs and another new comedy, Better Off Ted (Portia de Rossi, Jay Harrington), will take the hour-long block starting Wednesdays at 8 p.m. (The former home of the dearly departing Pushing Daisies.)

So why is one of ABC’s highest-profile shows getting a time-out? …

According to ABC insiders, the Alphabet net is looking at more of a cable model when it comes to its programming and scheduling. “McPherson is interested in reducing the number of reruns,” one well-placed insider tells me, adding that Betty—after its dip in the ratings this season—seemed the best place to slot in Samantha and Motherhood.

Betty had an audience of about 8 million at the start of the current third season, but then consistently lost about a million viewers each week, sinking as low as 3.6 million. This month, it jumped back up to 7.5 million, but that’s still shy of last year’s audience of 9 million viewers.

What do you guys think?

Is this a smart move on ABC’s part?

Hi, guys. Before I do anything, I just have to brag. Wanna know where I am right now? Poolside. I’m still in Arizona, hangin’ with my pops, and it was such a gorgeous day today that I felt physically nauseous about staying inside. So I took my laptop out to the community pool, and, thanks to the new wireless router I bought my dad, I get internet out here. So I am in a bikini getting a tan while I write this. Okay, I’m done bragging now. I’m just so proud of this brilliant blogging-by-the-pool idea I came up with. Why didn’t I think of this before? Oh, right, because I was in Seattle.

Anyway, Kate Winslet and her husband, Sam Mendes, had another brilliant idea: the two of them never fly on a plane together. They’re afraid that if something goes wrong, their children would be orphaned. Now, this is the kind of paranoia I can get behind. I am famously freaked out about flying. Sometimes I secretly want to put my dog on a different plane from me so that if anything happens to my flight my legacy will survive.

“Where possible, Kate and Sam do prefer to travel in separate planes,” said a spokesperson for the couple. “It is not always possible but, for obvious reasons regarding the children, they do travel separately when they can.”

In fairness, Sam was supposed to be on one of the 9/11 planes, and then later Kate was on a plane that received an Islamic terrorist threat mid-air — fortunately, no one was harmed. But I can totally understand why they’re nervous about this sort of thing.