Ashlee Simpson is on the warpath, defending big sister Jessica.  Here’s the part of her tiring tirade that I did marginally agree with:

Since when did a woman’s weight become newsworthy?  A week after the inauguration and with such a feeling of hope in the air for our country, I find it completely embarrassing and belittling to all women to read about a woman’s weight or figure.  All women come in different shapes, sizes, and forms and just because you’re a celebrity, there shouldn’t be a different standard.

She also claimed that one would never be so mean to a friend or relative in real life.  Actually, that’s where she’s wrong.  Because if any friend of mine, weighing more than 109 pounds, is seen in high-waisted jeans and/or a bad bra, they should basically expect that I’ll be staging an intervention for them.

Ashlee whined, “How can we expect teenage girls to love and respect themselves in an environment where we criticize a size 2 figure?”  I don’t know Ashlee but the next time I see a size two figure, I’ll be sure to be kind.  What does this have to do with Jessica?

Britney Spears’ website has released some photos of her rehearsing in preparation of her upcoming Circus tour.   It kicks off March 3rd in New Orleans.

Obama is in office and Britney Spears is hot again.  It’s like all is right in the world again.

The photo agency swears that this pic of Kristina and Karissa Shannon, Hugh Hefner’s new girlfriends, was taken outside of a medical cannabis store in LA.

I’m sure they have a very serious illness and we should all feel sorry for them. I hope they survive.

I will totally admit to being a closet Demi Lovato fan. I actually thought her debut album, Don’t Forget, was pretty good. There were a few tracks I hated, but a bunch that I loved, and I’m secretly kind of psyched to hear that she’s doing a second album. Okay, I guess it’s not really a secret anymore. Also: she’d like it to sound like John Mayer. She actually used the phrase “John Mayer-ish.”

“I’m actually recording … well, writing the album right now. It’s going to take a different sound, so hopefully it goes over well,” she said. “I sing a lot of rock, but this time I want to do more John Mayer-ish type of songs. Hopefully I can write with people like him. I love their music — it would be amazing.”

When I hear the phrase “John Mayer-ish,” I don’t really think of music. I think of asshole. Like, “I want to date a guy who’s really talented and successful and rich, but lets it go to his head and then treats me like crap and cheats on me constantly. You know, someone John Mayer-ish.”

Anyway, good luck with this, Demi. I’m excited to hear what you come up with.

“I’d like to do another movie with Angie [ex-wife Angelina Jolie], too, one of these days. We talk all the time. She and I keep looking for something to do together; we just have to find the right thing.”

Billy Bob Thornton, when asked which actress he’d like to work with.

Do you believe him that he still talks to Angie?

I don’t.

Two-time Pulitzer Prize winner, John Updike has died of lung cancer at the age of 76.

Updike’s  most notable works included the Rabbit series and The Witches of Eastwick.  His final work, My Father’s Tears and Other Stories, is scheduled for release June 2nd.

There is really no more appropriate time to cite one of his more famous passages :  “The great thing about the dead, they make space.”