Today's Evil Beet Gossip

I’m Sure Michael Phelps Is Smoking Tobacco Out of That Gigantic Glass Bong

phelps_bong

Hi, guys. Beet here. I’m just butting in for a minute because News of the World just ran this picture of Michael “Size Fourteen” Phelps smoking a bong. WHICH WAS PROBABLY FULL OF TOBACCO. Right?????

I just couldn’t let Soleil or anyone else write this story because they’d probably assume that this was marijuana, and you all know that my Phelpsy isn’t smoking POT. He would NEVER do a thing like that.

Because if this is weed — and someone can prove it — Phelpsy’s gonna be banned from the sport for FOUR YEARS. And probably lose all his big money endorsements.

Phelps’ aides went into a panic over our story and offered us a raft of extraordinary incentives not to run the bong picture.

It was on November 6, weeks after his Beijing triumph, that 23-year-old Phelps surprised students at the University Of South Carolina in Columbia by showing up unannounced at a house party.

He was visiting Jordan Matthews, a girl he was secretly seeing who was a student there.

Our source revealed: “Michael came to visit Jordan but ended up just getting wasted every night.

Gasp!!!

Phelpsy!!!

You’re such a bad boy. It makes me want you EVEN MORE.

The rest of the story of Michael’s not-so-secret party habits is after the jump:

“He arrived with a group of girls hanging all over him. Jaws hit the floor when he walked in. You don’t get many celebrities in Columbia, so when Phelps comes to your party it’s a very big deal.
Obnoxious

“He didn’t know many people so you’d think he’d be a little shy. But he was loud, obnoxious and slamming beers from the get-go.

“Every girl wanted a piece of him and every guy wanted to be his best buddy. He couldn’t get enough of all the attention.”

As he basked in his hero status, Phelps knocked back beers and shots of spirits. And when a student offered him the glass bong engraved with red writing, he did not hesitate, says our source.

The 6ft 4ins athlete, in a white T-shirt and navy cap worn back to front, clasped the device in his huge hands and inhaled deeply.

Our source said: “You could tell Michael had smoked before. He grabbed the bong and a lighter and knew exactly what to do.

“He looked just as natural with a bong in his hands as he does swimming in the pool. He was the gold medal winner of bong hits. Michael ended up getting a little paranoid, though, because before too long he looked like he was nervous and ran out of the place.”

But the next night, Phelps was out partying again. The source added: “He was right back at it at Pavlov’s bar.

“Like the night before he was holding court, throwing back shots two at a time and pouring drinks to every cute girl.”

Drink has got Phelps into trouble before. In 2004, aged 19, he got 18 months probation for driving while under the influence.

His wild behaviour is in stark contrast to the grim regime which took him to the top of his sport.

He once described his life, saying: “All you do is eat, sleep, swim; eat, sleep, swim; eat, sleep, swim.”

Last night Phelps’ management team and the sporting world closed ranks over the scandal.

82 CommentsLeave a comment

  • Well…. he IS a swimmer and obviously no rocket scientist but damn dude, that was such a stupid move! Maybe the chlorine leeched the common sense out of him?

  • Seriously?
    Do you not know what micheal phelps face looks like beet?
    I’d expect posting false stories from perez…not you!

    Well I guess it is a slow day in gossip.

  • That really doesn’t even look like him to me. Where’s the big nose? This guy actually looks a lot cuter.

  • I agree with Erin. We need a different picture angle. Unless he got himself a nose job? Know you love him Beet but jeez…if it is him he’s extreeeemely silly. ( Hay I’m british and this is how we do )

  • If I looked like a horse headed goblin monster I’d probably want to get high too. I can’t blame him.
    Just imagine how hard it is to unwind for him after a day of pulling people around in a wagon.. eating nothing but hay. Poor boy.

  • beet, not a lot of (young) people use bowls and bongs to smoke weed. old folks stick to those nasty pipes and if he was a university especially- it’s weed.
    haha. i girl at my college this really crazy story about him when he visited her bf’s old college. haha.

      • well basically my friend’s boyfriend was attending a made up 4yr-after college reunion type of thing and phelps apparently was there hoeing it up with some girl. the bf said he was hooking up with random girls like every night of the event. i don’t mind that he’s a hoe, he gets what he want. he’s sexy haha, most especially because he’s taller than me haha!

    • Um I’m a young person and I use bongs and bowls, and so does every other person I know who smokes. And yes, she must be stoned writing this because it does make very little sense.

    • omg shit sorry! i was really tired when i read/wrote this response.
      what i meant to say was that not a lot of young people use bongs/bowls to smoke tobacco! and if he was at a college party, they were definitely not smoking tobacco in that gi-normaous bong. does that make better sense?

  • I hope News of the World didn’t spend too much money on that pic because I really don’t think that looks like him.

  • Ladies and gentlemen – let me perpetuate the rumor by saying:

    1) Check out the watch. As someone stated above, that watch has some serious bling to it.

    2) Referencing #1: Michael Phelps was endorsed by Omega watches back in August of ’08.

    3) Oddly enough, Omega has a watch that’s QUITE similar to the one that Phelps is wearing in this picture.

    If you want to compare, check it out here:
    http://www.amazon.com/Omega-Womens-Constellation-Diamond-1457-78-00/dp/B000VHU9QW

    How fucking awesome is this story.
    Yay, Beet.

  • It doesn’t really look like him, but what does it matter anyway? It’s not like marijuana is a performance enhancing drug.

    • I’m curious – can you really get banned for four years, or at all, for smoking pot? I know there was some kerfuffle about a Canadian snow-boarder, but he tested positive right after winning his medal, and Phelpsy isn’t even in training at the moment. It’s illegal, and some would say immoral, but it isn’t performance enhancing, on the contrary actually. They don’t suspend you for DUI or shoplifting or other stuff that’s illegal, immoral but has nothing whatsoever to do with your athletic performance.

  • Don’t care if it’s him or not.

    Just happy to finally have something funny to read this weekend.

  • I read these comments first before scrutinizing the picture, and I thought to myself “everyone’s just in fangirl denial that it could possibly be him.” But, looking at the picture now I totally don’t think it’s Phelps. Whoever said a while back in the comments that he’s missing the horse face is right. This guy’s face is decidedly less long and lacks the gargantuan nose.

  • Hey, I dont know whether it is or isn’t Phelps. but the guy has great taste, the ROOR is a prime utensil for smoking ‘tobacco’.

    My friend actually got his smashed a few weeks ago and almost cried when he saw the picture. lol

  • Michael Phelps had better put out some serious denials about this photo, or he can kiss his Wheaties boxes bye-bye. It doesn’t matter what he’s smokin. You’d think, having made it, he would conduct himself with more sense. In the words of the immortal Buggs Bunny, “what a maroon.”

  • I don’t know if it’s him or not, but even if it was him, I doubt he would let someone take a picture of him smoking pot with all of his “family friendly” endorsements. I also question the validity of the picture because it’s a side shot, a side shot of sasquatch could look like Jessica Alba in the right light ;P

  • Phelps certainly isn’t going to be attending any Mensa meetings in the near future… and he was one of the worst sports stars to ever host SNL. He has absolutely no charisma whatsoever.

    How about posting Peyton Manning’s locker room skit on SNL Beet?
    Or his afterschool work with kids on SNL?
    Those were pure genius.

  • Hmmmm…doesn’t really resemble him from this angle…but if this is him, he is remarkably dim-witted.

  • There’s no doubt its him. Why else would his agent desperately try to keep the picture out of the tabloid?

  • Holy shit! Nothing else has happened in the past 12 hours? I wonder if TMZ or Ted Casablance have anything else interesting.

  • Holy shit! Nothing else has happened in the past 12 hours? I wonder if TMZ or Ted Casablanca* have anything else interesting.

  • Just because the man has a “fierce diamond encrusted watch” on does not mean its him!!
    – That looks nothing like him.
    -Yeah Maybe the ears are similar but come on guys….ITS NOT HIM.
    Beet is just posting crap to get you excited.

  • I went back several pages on this blog and found him wearing the EXACT SAME WATCH…he still is a good YOUNG guy and I hope he does not lose his career over this

  • He just wanted to be “normal” for once in his life. He’s trained for like 15 years straight. It’s just weed, you guys! But he has to realize tha he isn’t like everybody else, and he can’t do anything without being filmed. Tough lesson.

  • That does not look like Phelps. It looks more like Manning because he looks just like him or maybe some other guy. Some people said that hes has his watch, well theres probably like a million of them because Phelps has it.

  • Perez Hilton says he issued an apology. Wow, I didn’t think it was actually him. Kinda dissapointed in golden boy…

  • So, is anyone surprised?? Mr. Phelps is one of the coolest, most down to earth guys ever. Of course he smokes pot! They are running a confirmation on all the major sports websites that this is him and that it is true. Most interesting tid bit? No one cares. He’s 23 yrs old, rich and famous. There are so many worse things that he could be doing other then minimizing his lung capacity!

  • i just feel really bad for him. the olympics are over, he’s having a good time – he’s not doing any PERFORMANCE ENHANCING drugs..if anything that pot’ll just slow him right down… he’ll be busy enjoying the way everyone looks underwater and mesmorized by bubbles than breaking any records. dude just wanted to have fun and party – i can’t imagine the pressure he must have been under in the olympics with all spotlights on him. just leave him alone to enjoy his partying and being a 23yr old. poor guy.

  • Yeah Pot is a very potent and it’s an illegal substance in US. Many things been said and many opinions exist about legalizing it or not?

    As of right now its still an open, undecided question. And while many waiting for resolution, you can either do what your stars( Nicole, Paris, Linsey, Britney, Brad, Phelps) do and ignore the law or you can try smoking something legal, or quit.

    For those of you still seeking for new spiritual experiences I would recommend a Legal Herbal Smoking of such herbs as Salvia, Kanna, Wild Dagga, etc;)

    More info on topic here: http://www.down-the-pipe.com/pages.php?pageid=2

    You can also find there everything youll need to start smoking legal herbs and mixtures, pipes, bongs, and accessories;)

    Hope this will help;)