Suzanne Somers went on Oprah and lost her damn mind. She showed what I’m sure was a cringing audience her entire routine (with the exception of the vaginal injection) on air, which includes some 40 pills, hormone rubdowns, and exceptional suppression of the gag reflex (pssst it’s the secret to her marriage). Somers claims that doing this helps her beat the “Seven Dwarfs of Menopause: Itchy, Bitchy, Sleepy, Sweaty, Bloated, Forgetful and All Dried Up.” Fox News
She begins with rubbing a syringe of estrogen on one arm, every day. For two weeks out of the month, she rubs progesterone on the other.
After that, she injects estriol vaginally, which she graciously spared the audience from watching.
But it doesn’t end there.
She can’t start her day without taking 40 pills, 15 of which she downs in a thick, yellow smoothie her husband makes for her (she says it’s the secret to their marriage!). Then she ends her day with an additional 20 pills at night before bed.
Now, I’m not saying that Suzanne Somers doesn’t look amazing for a 62 year old, but she is starting to take on certain muppet-like qualities. I think I would rather age gracefully than vaginally inject ANYTHING ever or choke down a 15-pill smoothie. This is not natural. She says she’s “not against going under the knife” but wouldn’t it ultimately be easier and cheaper to do a little nip/tuck maintenance instead of rubbing raw hormones into your flesh? Not to mention I got “Bitchy, Sleepy, Sweaty, Bloated, Forgetful” dwarves kickin it at my place once a month for about 4 days and I’m 23. Those assholes are not limited to Menopause.