We were contacted by some folks who are developing a line of T-shirts for Big Rob, that gigantic dude who used to be the bodyguard for Britney Spears and is now the bodyguard for the Jonas Brothers.
Apparently the guy has a catch phrase, and it is — you ready for this? — “Suuupp?!!”
And they’re making a line of T-shirts with this phrase on the front and “BIG ROB’S 4 REAL” on the back, and I thought to myself, “If there’s anyone who needs these T-shirts, it is my readers.”
No, that’s not true, and I actually wrote back to them to be like, “Um, we are perhaps not your target demographic” and they wrote back like “No! We want YOUR readers! Evil Beet’s readers specifically,” and I was like, “Well, they do rock.”
Then I thought about it some more, and a part of me just knew that reading your responses to this contest would be well worth running the damn thing, so here’s the contest question(s). You can answer EITHER one (or both, if you feel like it, but you only need to answer one to be entered).
If I were Britney Spears’ bodyguard, my T-shirt would say ____________________ .
OR
If I were the Jonas Brothers’ bodyguard, my T-shirt would say ____________________ .
I’ll choose the three funniest entries, and these people will win free Big Rob shirts. Winners must have mailing addresses in the U.S.
Send your entry with the subject line “Big Rob Contest” to evilbeet@gmail.com. Entries must be received by 5 pm Thursday.
If you want to bypass the contest and buy the shirts directly, they’re available from Sheila Cameron here.
If I were Britney Spears’ bodyguard, my T-shirt would say:
“Hey at least I’m not the pathetic jack ass Jonas Brothers’ bodyguard”
If I were the Jonas Brothers’ bodyguard, my T-shirt would say:
“My mamma tells everyone that I’m a drug dealer…”
that so makes me ROLFMAO
If i were the Jonas Brothers’ bodyguard, my T-shirt would say:
“Hey, at least I have sex.”
If I were the Jonas Brothers’ bodyguard, my T-shirt would say:
“I can’t bone down with them, since I don’t have a penis”
“my twat’s all a twitter cause britney’s glitters”
I understand the winner must have a mailing address in the US cos it’s easier for you to post the prize, but I think loads of your readers come from abroad – I don’t think any of them will take part in a contest they know beforehand they can’t even win!
AGREED. IM FROM SINGAPORE, ACTUALLY. :( AND BTW ALL THE ENTRIES ARE SO LMAO.
Yup, I agree as well. I’m from Denmark so I might as well just give up beforehand.
I hope all of you guys that are posting responses here are also e-mailing them to the address beat provided! :0)
That kid is SUCH a douche.
did you mean that as your t-shirt entry? Because that’s my favorite.
If I were Britney Spears’ bodyguard, my T-shirt would say:
“Official Baby Catcher.”
:) like em both
If i were the Jonas Brothers’ bodyguard, my T-shirt would say:
“I’m in a hell of my own making.”
If I were the jonas Brothers’ bodyguard, my T-shirt would say:
“I’m with douchebag”
I’m protecting Britney Spears from dignity
If I were the Jonas Brothers’ bodyguard, my t-shirt would say:
“I can’t make any promises, about the promise rings.”
(I don’t trust you camilla belle!)
If I were Britney Spears’ bodyguard, my T-shirt would say:
“I should have sold her hair for millions.”
if i were the jonas brothers bodyguard my t-shirt would say:
“I knew i should have listened to my mom and went to community college”
If I were Britney Spears’ bodyguard, my T-shirt would say
“I held Britney Spears hair while she puked and all I got was this lousy T-shirt”
If I were the Jonas Brothers’ bodyguard, my T-shirt would say
“Jonas Brotha”
“I held Britney Spears’ hair while she puked and all I got was this lousy T-shirt”
ahahaha.
Heh, I like these ones. LMAO
If I were the Jonas Brothers’ bodyguard, my T-shirt would say :
” I wish there were bullets in my gun…”
Or do celebrity bodyguards carry guns ?
Or tazers ?
Or some kind of weapon , preferably big and sharp ?
I’ll come up with a Britney One , and come back later.
If I were Britney Spears’ bodyguard, my T-shirt would say :
“Professional Crotch Coverupper.”
Eh , that’s the best I could do …
I suck.
Oh ! That reminds me …
If I were the Jonas Brothers’ bodyguard, my T-shirt would say :
“Make the giggling stop!”
Because , I’m guessing they giggle…
i don’t want to win… but i feel inclined to enter anyway…
I’m not even from the US, and the last thing I want is a Big Rob T-Shirt, but I couldn’t help thinking about it regardless.
If I were the Jonas Brothers’ bodyguard, my T-shirt would say :
“How to drop your IQ in less than two minutes”
ACLR?
If I were the Jonas Brothers’ bodyguard, my T-shirt would say :
TEAM MILEY
Flipper at 9:27 wins.
Ahhhh, he’s a Jonas Brother. I was wondering who that cross-eyed muppet was.
If I were the Jonas Brothers’ bodyguard, my T-shirt would say: carrier of the purity rings.
If I were Britney Spearss body guard, my t-shirt would say:
“Crotch shot ahead in 3…2…1”
If I were the Jonas Brothers’ bodyguard, my T-shirt would say ‘Gotta make a living somehow’
If I were Britney Spears body guard, my t-shirt would say:
“spearschucker”
if i were the jonas brothers boyguard ,my t-shirt would say
” kickin’ it with the jo bro’s.”
or it would say
“slow down sugar nicks a diabetic! lol”
– i really love the jonas brothers so i hope i win!!
im going to take it a bit farther… if i was BIG ROB then my t-shirt would say
“im just here for the screaming white girls”
If I were Britney Spears body guard, my t-shirt would say:
She Got The Head Shaving Idea From Me
If I was the Jonas brothers body guard my shirt would say:
“Not my fault,I didnt make them..”
If i was brit-brit’s bg My thisrt would say:
“My apologies”