Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Is Tom Cruise Going to “Merge” His Family with the Beckhams?

Dude, I don’t understand this at all.

Tom Cruise is to merge his family with Victoria and David Beckham’s in a special ceremony.

The ‘Valkyrie’ actor will hold the bizarre service – during which the families vow to be brothers and sisters and exchange heartfelt speeches – at his wife Katie Holmes’ New York town house.

The gesture serves as a Thanksgiving present from Tom – who has two adopted teenage children, Isabella and Connor, with ex-wife Nicole Kidman and a two-year-old daughter, Suri, with Katie – to the showbiz couple.

A source said: “Tom and David have been friends for years and they and their families spend a lot of time together.

“This year Tom wanted to make a special gesture that would show how much he appreciates their friendship and he thought this would be the perfect way.”

So, uh, let me get this straight: Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt are busy adopting children from third-world countries, but Tom Cruise has decided to focus his energies on adopting international soccer stars and former girl-banders? Okay. I’m just checking.

21 CommentsLeave a comment

  • Did you get this from the Onion? No, oh ok then–so Kaite IS one French braid away from fittin in at the polygamist compound.

    Many Couches to the happy couple(s?).

  • This sounds creepy. I’m not sure I believe any of it. Where is Nicole Kidman? Aren’t this her children as well? Instead of making god-awful movies, nursing her drug addicted loser husband and faking pregnacies, Nicole should rescue Isabella and Connor.
    Tommy Girl is not doing anything that makes me want to rush to the theater and see him in a movie.

  • Hahahaha every piece of news that has to do with Tom Cruise cracks me up. I was actually really excited to see that movie Valkyrie until I found out it was rated PG-13. Come on, it’s a movie about nazis and Hitler and they aren’t making it R? It’s going to be laaame.

  • oh how lovely. 2 douchy-familys becoming one. now they need to merge spence and heidi and the world will be a better place.

  • We already have the tablecloth (just cut up the dress) and we can have an Old Fashion Thanksgiving. Woo Hoo. And if Katie starts looking any more like Jacki O, I’m going to have to send her a pill box hat.

  • Scientology has many wacky celebrations…. I am absolutely sure this one is true too. I am sure you heard about his “church/CULT”‘s involvement with Will Smith’s school and how they try to teach the kids cult tech.

    Tom is trying to grasp onto any sort of high paid “friend” so that he can stay relevant. He is really just an overrated old hack who can’t act for shit. Just make him go AWAY.

  • Maybe Katie’s all over it. That means you get to bang Beckham, right? I’d switch religions. I’m not totally committed to mine and I’d pray to any God or alien for a chance to lick Beckham’s chest.

  • Lick Beckham’s chest… lol. Hilarious.

    This is interesting. I’ve never actually heard of a ceremony like this. It’s something…

  • I’m Catholic and deeply rooted in guilt. If I’m willing to trade it all for that, it must be good, right?

    Regardless, no budders, I lick his chest first.

  • Scientologists are always trying to recruit celebrities because they know it causes millions of other sheep to join. Tom Cruise was immediately catapulted to super human status in the cult because of who he is.

    The only reason Lisa Marie Presley married Michael Jackson, for instance, was to recruit him.

  • I truly believe Tom Cruise gets just a little bit weirder everyday. This week he’s obviously reached new levels.
    I so WISH I could have seen Beckhams face when he recieved this ‘special gesture’. Congrats Becks, you get to devote and bind yourself to Tom Cruise and his strange ways FOREVER. No turning back. No divorces. No breaking THIS bff promise. HAH classic. Have fun with that.

  • So, I was way over Tom and vowed not to watch anything of his due to his war on depression and Brooke Shields. However, I unwittingly watched Tropic Thunder, not knowing that he was in it. He was freaking HILARIOUS!! It almost made me like him again. In fact, I think that I told my husband that his part in that movie made me forgive his eccentricities.
    just too far gone for me to respect him at all.

    Still, did you guys see him in Tropic Thunder?? The dancing was just too great!

  • ha ha ha hah, too funny!
    are these people for real?
    what on earth are they smoking???

    i feel sorry for those adopted kids though
    no one seems to want them.
    Nicole obviously doesn’t want them in her life, she is too busy trying to bond with her surrogated baby
    Katie is too inlove with Suri and has no room for two pre-teens

    Now they are shipping them over to the Beckhams!
    The poor kids, they are going to be scarred for life

  • lol, Conner does kinda look like Tom. People have claimed/speculated in the past that that is his real son.

  • Erin, I totally agree with you about Cruise’s Tropic Thunder performance! I cannot, canNOT stand this mini-maniac, not at all, but I have got to give credit where it’s actually due – he was really good in that role, it almost kinda seemed like he was playing a part of his own actual self – crazy.

    This family-merging thing is extraordinarily creepy, though. Look at the Beckhams behind the Cruises in this top header photo – they both look really grimmy, NOT happy. So, so fucking weird. Cruise and his cult minions just want to start getting all of the Beckham’s private information and so forth so they can begin to take over their lives completely and indoctrinate/enslave them into their murderous, fraudulent cult.

    I hate tom Cruise.