I plan to get healthier and get in shape this year.  I’ve been looking around for a role model to inspire me.  Someone I can look to for motivation.  I think I’ve found just that person.  What do you think?

Donatella Versace, this week in St. Bart’s.

Of course they broke up again.  Travis Barker and Shana Moakler need to take note.  Because even if you skid off a runway and have critical burns and almost die, it doesn’t make you any more compatible with an ex.  I don’t know why people think near death experiences are a sign from God to go recommit the same mistakes.  Like He sits up there saying “I’m giving you this second chance at life so you can fail, yet again, at the same relationship.”

I am happy to report that DJ AM is now dating some American Apparel model chick which hopefully will thwart any future reconciliation attempts with that other one.

Yes, this is Mandy Moore from seven years ago, but I can’t pass by an opportunity when I see the two most irritating women in Hollywood in the same picture.  I’m not that strong.

Where are you going to be ringing in 2009?  I’m happy to tell you that I’ll be snowed in on a gluten-free bread bender.  But people who actually have lives have some big plans.  Check it out:

Jennifer Anistonis in Los Cabos with John Mayer, Courteney Cox and David Arquette.  Well, John Mayer is staying at a villa located in close proximity to where Jen is staying with the Arquettes.  He totally strikes me like one of those “We don’t need a title” types.  Bleah.

Lindsay Lohan is hanging out with Samantha Ronson at her deejaying gig at Mansion in South Beach.  Sam is feeling more rested since last week’s hospitalization now that she stopped eating at airport kiosks.

Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz are hosting a party at PURE Nightclub in Vegas.  Technically, she’s Ashlee Simpson-Wentz but I’m preparing for the future when she drops him and the hyphename.

A longer list of New Year’s Eve celeb whereabouts is here and please, Denise Richards made this list?  Like one person in the universe was wondering what she was up to tonight.

Oh, and I just tried the bread and I gotta tell you:  Gluten-free bread is so disgusting.

It sounds like there may be another American Pie sequel.  Unlike its predecessors Band Camp, Naked Mile and Beta House, this one might actually make it to the theater before being promptly ushered off to DVD.  Aren’t you so excited?

Anyone want to take bids on opening weekend ticket sales?  I say $1.7M.

Above, Tara Reid at the west coast premiere of American Pie, uh…the first one, in 1999.

Here’s Lindsers heading off to a club in Miami last night.

Check out those stems!

Lookin’ good, Lindsay!

Queen Latifah is the newest victim of jewelry theft.  She has been vacationing in Tobago over the holidays with her girlfriend (the article reads “female friend” but isn’t it a forgone conclusion at this point that Queen is gay?) when she discovered $10,000 in rings and bracelets had been taken from her room. 

Now listen, I don’t get to stay in luxury villas.  The Westin is about as exciting as it gets for me.  But even at the Westin, they have a fucking safe.  And if I had $10k in jewelry and was just so relevant that I had to bring it with me, that’s where it would be stored.  I just don’t get it.  Is this not common sense?  

Being burgled turned out to be one of the hottest trends of 2008.